Bad Moon Rising
by evaivory
Summary: The caverns of her mind held nothing but chaos, and men like him thrived in chaos. In the slums of the fourth ward, there is a human who knows the name of every flower, and there is a ghoul who grins with fresh blood on his hands. It would be a love story, if both of them weren't insane.
1. Part I: Daffodil

**AN: Hello, and welcome to 'Bad Moon Rising'! Firstly, as is common course for my other fics, this story focuses on the darker sides of several characters (as if they weren't dark enough already) while focusing more on character and world building rather than just romance. Secondly, the _italicised_ sections in this fic are denoted to memories/ flashbacks and Japanese phrases that are added to add realism. Thirdly, this story will be a mix of anime and manga.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul, it is owned Sui Ishida and I have no claims towards it.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Daffodil**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: New Beginnings**

* * *

No one is born a monster, but you'll be surprised how easy it is to shape a child into one.

Her name was written with the kanji for harmony, printed in feminine and delicate script across her birth certificate. The same kanji are printed with delicate block letters on ratty school books for years to come, but this isn't a story about the troubles of youth as they bite their fingers in frustration at drawing kanji.

Around the outskirts of the fourth ward, as the rural blends into the urban, there are the slums.

Small houses clustered together and joined with rotting and crooked streets that had fallen into disrepair years before, graffiti decorated every dead end, and the upper class from the twentieth ward dared and nudged each other to stop past the rusted iron gates and into the dark streets, even though the sun shone high above them.

"I've heard that there all ghouls in there." One sneering teenage boy muttered to another, spitting on the ground and shifting on his feet.

"Really…" The third member trailed off, his eyes wide as he leaned further into the rock. "I bet we can take them on, we'll be the best investigator team there was. It'll show those guys in the CCG that we're not just kids then!"

"Really?" A light voice huffed, the foreign sound causing the three boys to startle slightly. "Because all I see in front of me are just three scrawny kids."

Stopping a few feet away from the boys was a small woman with a frayed basket in hand, her dark hair falling in unorganised strands in front of her face. Her skin was porcelain white, but was marred with yellow and purple bruises and uneven in places. The woman's clothes were obviously old but well cared for, careful stitches being visible in the fabric if you looked close enough. Her most striking feature however, was her eyes. Staring out at the boys from behind her dark hair, was a pair of pale blue eyes, the same blue as the summer evening sky that stretched endlessly from above their heads.

"I'm not a kid." The leader of the three huffed, stepping closer to the woman and shoving his hands in his pockets. His chest enlarging to make himself appear bigger and more imposing to the woman's small stature. "I'm fourteen."

The woman only stared at him, shifting the basket in her grip, clearly unimpressed.

"Do I look like I care?" The woman stated, shifting on her battered shoes and staring down the teenage boys. "I've met kittens that inspire more fear in me than you. Does your mother know you and your petty little gang are hanging out here?"

"Are you a ghoul?" The main kid snorted, the other two laughing nervously behind him. "What are you gonna do, eat me?"

"I'm not a ghoul." The dark haired woman said, her voice monotone and bored, dark and unhealthy strands falling into her face as eyes the same colour as the sky high above them stared down coldly at the boy. "But that doesn't mean I'm opposed to throwing your scrawny little neck to them at any given chance, go home to your _okaa-san_ boy. Any son is better then a dead one."

Shoving past him and snarling lightly at the other gang members, the dark haired woman stepped through the iron gat and slammed it shut behind her, her frown deepening as she saw the boys hadn't moved from where she left them.

"Scram!" She shouted after them, a small smirk jumping on her lips as the boys scrambled away, down the street back to the richer parts of the first ward as she presumed.

Sighing softly, as she turned away from the gates, Kazuko opened the woven basket on her arm a fraction, peering in and staring analytically at the dozen of flowers that lay inside there, as well as an apple and various herbs. Closing the basket with a nod, Kazuko descended down the stone steps and into the twisting alleyways of the slums.

 **...**

 _"Kazuko, Kazuko pay attention to Okaa-san. You must recite every flower to me, you wouldn't want to be a failure, would you?"_

 _"No Okaa-san."_

Snip.

A sunflower was gently placed into a chipped ceramic teacup, the rusted metal pliers creaking as they moved onto the next flower.

 _"Good girl. Now, this is an Asogao, it's other name is morning glory, and it is native to Japan…"_

Snip. Snip. Snip.

Several baby pink roses joined the sunflower, cotton gloved hands hesitantly moving forward and detracting one of the roses, a soft hum filling the air as the flowers were rearranged with a flurry of movement.

 _"It's a very special flower as it has several meanings, so it is a good one to put in bouquets. It is a flower of duality, the love of mortality, or to love in vain. Despite its beauty, we only put it in rejection bouquets because of this…"_

Snip.

A wild white lily found itself threaded into the arrangement, and the soft chime of a wayward bell rang in the perfectionists ears.

 _"Kazuko, you pathetic little girl! Deep colours rarely ever pair nicely with the lighter ones. Start the bouquet again!"_

Sni-

No. No. No. No. No. No! That didn't go well at all, a deep purple never paired nicely with yellow. With a small screech of frustration, the gloves hand reached out and plucked the deep purple carnations from the arrangement, throwing it off to the side with a loud huff of frustration.

" _Composure, Kazuko." Her mother tittered in disapproval, her rose painted lips slanted downwards as she leaned back in her oak chair window and stared down at the fidgeting girl._

She straightened her spine slightly, years of having the movement beaten into her making the aching and twisting straightening seem effortless to the outward eye. In a small motion, the worn cotton gloves were pulled off of her small hands, malnourished fingers stretching out in frustration.

Analysing the makeshift bouquet in front of her, Kazuko breathed in deeply through her nose.

The arrangement was… adequate, it would do well enough on her rotting dining room table until next month.

Gently picking up the plastic pot that held the flowers, Kazuko stood up from her chair. Bare feet patted against the rat infested floorboards as she walked several steps and slipped through the slanted doorway and into the dining room. Placing the makeshift vase on the small table, Kazuko smiled softly at the colour it brought into the room.

"It'll do." She muttered to herself, brushing her hands against a tattered apron with a fond smile. "It'll do…"

 **...**

It wasn't good enough.

After several days of scowling at the flower arrangement, Kazuko picked up her basket once more and sneaked onto the train that ran towards the 20th ward.

The 20th ward always held the nicest roses this time of year.

After picking up a handful of red and right roses, her fingertips bleeding slightly from the thorns, Kazuko travelled through the city to make her way back to the train station.

Glancing at the clock that was displayed in a shop window, she saw that she only had three minutes to get to the train station, for what had to be a six minute walk. Kazuko sighed softly and quickly ducked into an alleyway she knew would be a shortcut.

(Thinking back on it, years later, Kazuko would probably pinpoint this decision as the worst decision of her life.)

After turning a corner in the alley, the sound of living civilisation muffled behind large brick walls, Kazuko felt the basket filled with red roses slip from her fingers in shock, the sound of it hitting the dirty floor alerting the fighting pair to their spectators presence.

Two pairs of black and red eyes snapped towards her with a snarl.

Ghouls.

Of _course_ it was.

One was dark haired, wearing a top that probably cost more than her house judging by the logo on it. They were covered in quickly healing cuts, the wall behind them sprayed slightly with fresh blood. The other was taller than their opponent, their hair was a dirty blond, medium in length and held away from their eyes with a simple headband.

Both were male.

Both eyed her with interest and hunger.

Backing away slightly, Kazuko spun on her heel and ran away in a dead sprint, her voice clogged in her throat as she pushed of the ground and left the basket of roses behind her.

It was no use.

The dark haired one immediately lunged at her slamming her against the already bloody wall and eyeing her in interest. Kicking at the ghoul, Kazuko tried desperately to escape his grip as the dark haired ghoul leaned forward.

"Thank you for the snack." He grinned with sharp teeth, his head leaning forward and mouth opening around her neck.

This could be interpretations as vaguely sexual, Kazuko contemplated in a daze as he leaned forward, the blond ghoul beginning to pick himself up from the floor.

"Sorry," Kazuko said through heavy breaths, adrenaline making her body tremble as nausea grasped at her throat. "But I'm not planning on dying today."

Twisting her neck at an awkward angle, Kazuko clamped her teeth around the ghouls ear, and pulled her head back with all her might. With a loud screech, the ghoul threw her to the floor, part of it's ear still in her mouth.

Spitting the offending thing out of her mouth, Kazuko watched in panic as the blond ghoul latched onto the darker haired one, though his eyes never left her in fascination. Running on adrenaline, Kazuko stumbled to her feet, the scent of salt and blood in her mouth as tears began to from in the corners of her eyes.

Skidding out of the alleyway and back into the street, Kazuko ran head first into into a dark haired CCG officer.

Because this obviously hadn't been enough of a day to turn her into an early grave already.

"Miss, are you okay?" The Officer asked, the metal briefcase in his hand announcing his position as a ghoul investigator, taking a hold of her wrist and stopping her from running away in a panic. "Miss?"

"Ghouls… Fight… Ears…" Kazuko panted, adjusting her footing and taking several deep breaths. "There were ghouls in the alleyway, I left my basket there…"

"And how did you escape." He asked her, his eyes starting to narrow in suspicion.

"Look, I'm not a ghoul." Kazuko stated flatly, her tone bordering on aggressive. "Let me go, I have no interest in letting them catch up to me."

"Perhaps you shouldn't return to the twentieth ward." The inspector frowned, the briefcase in his hands shifting slightly as he straightened up in front of her, his hand still wrapped around her thin wrist.

"If you're trying to intimidate me then you're going about it all the wrong way." She hissed at the rough edged investigator, her body still running high from the adrenaline and her patience wearing thin. "I do not fear ghouls, I do not fear man, and I most certainly do not fear you."

"Is that a threat miss?" The inspector asked, his eyes narrowing, and his grip on her wrist briefly tightening.

"My name is Kazuko, and I have no family name I wish to be associated with." Kazuko hissed lowly, her wrist burning as the investigator tightened his grip once more. "Put me in your database for all I care, and see how long it takes before a body with the same name tag ends up in your morgue."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because you people don't do shit to help us in the slums." She sneered through gritted teeth. "Everyday, another body of a woman, man or child, is found in our alley corners, and yet, while the fourth ward continues to be a blood bath, you increase patrols in the first."

"We have our reasons."

"There hasn't been a ghoul related incident in the first ward for five years, I call bullshit."

"I would choose your words wisely miss." The inspector stated coldly, throwing down her wrist as if it had insulted him. "Have a nice rest of your day."

"Coward!" She screamed after him, tension building behind her eyes as she kicked at the dirt behind him. " _Kuso_ _kurae_!"

" _Get up, you pathetic little girl." A slurred voice screamed, sharp heels digging into her skin as Kazuko wrapped her hands around her ears, sobbing silently. "Why are you crying? Stop crying! Stop it! Stop it!"_

 _Each sentence was punctuated by another kick._

 _Her Okaa-san was never forgiving of weakness, but she was more inclined to violence when she was drunk._

Kazuko snapped out of the jaded memory as the train rattled to a stop in front of her, the metal doors sliding open with a soft hiss as dozens of people around her moved towards the doors. Tilting down her head and wrapping her empty arms around her stomach, Kazuko hurried onto the train, standing slope to the doors and facing outwards as they slid closed once more.

She never liked thinking of her _Okaa-san_ , and had never really dwelled on the memories that held her since she had ran away.

Staring down at her bruised wrist, Kazuko let her arm curl closer into her chest, her eyes closing as she shuffled on unsteady feet.

 _"Oh, you pathetic little girl…"_

Flinching as if she had been hit, Kazuko shook her head roughly, trying to get the deeply buried whispers from clawing to the surface anymore.

 _"Okaa-san! Okaa-san, I'm sorry! I'll be good!"_

Stumbling off the train when the doors slid open once more,

Sinking down at the other side of the door, flowers clutched in her hands and dark bruises starting to form on her wrists, Kazuko laughed through the tears of fear streaming down her face. Her voice croaking as she slumped forward tears continuing to stream down her face.

"Why are you crying?" She asked the empty room, beginning to rock back and forth with the flowers clenching tighter in her hand. "Get up you pathetic little girl." Her head rythimically hit the doorway as she chanted under her breath, the flowers clenching tightly in hand. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!"

Breathing heavily, her head still held in her hands and the back of her head burning from the numerous collisions, Kazuko stumbled up from the floor.

 _"Stupid girl." She sighed, delivering one last kick to the sobbing child. "This world will eat you alive. The world has no place for weakness, and we have survived because we are not weak."_

"The world has no place for weakness." Kazuko muttered to herself, her sky blue eyes staring at the floor. "Get up, and survive another day. The world does not have time for your weakness."

Straightening her spine and rubbing away her tears, Kazuko continued into her house as if nothing had ever happened.

She was blissfully unaware of the black and red eyes watching her from the shadows of the street, their eyes shining with intrigue.

 **...**

Kazuko woke to the sound of footsteps traipsing through her house.

Freezing slightly and holding her breath, Kazuko silently listened to footsteps get louder as they ventured deeper into the one story house and closer to her tiny bedroom.

Rising up slowly, Kazuko carefully looked around the windowless room, the footsteps growing closer as seconds passed.

Dropping to her knees, she shoved the futon closer to wall, latching her thin fingers into the loose floorboard and prying it open she dug out the heavy box hidden there.

"Okay…" She whispered to herself. "I've got this no need to panic. You've bit off a ghouls ear, this is nothing."

Holding the rectangular box close to her chest Kazuko stood on trembling legs and felt her stomach sink in a morbid mixture of strength and determination.

Then, everything went to hell.

A snarl sounded outside her door, the sound of wood and plaster snapping before violent screeches filled her ears.

What?

After several minutes passed, though they felt like hours, and the screeching continued, Kazuko hesitantly slipped through the doorway to her bedroom, the heavy box raised above her head.

The sight that greeted her in the hallway wasn't what she expected.

She expected rugrats, homeless kids that had broken in looking for several degrees of warmth or food, she expected investigators that had been sent by her _Okaa-san_ to track her down, she didn't expect this.

It was two ghouls.

Specifically, it was the two ghouls from the alley way, the dyed blonde one that had watched her leave forcing down the other one with his foot, black and red eyes lifting away from his opponent to watch her stumble into the room.

"Hello again." He said calmly, casually forcing his foot down heavier on the screeching ghouls neck. "Honestly, I thought we would finally properly meet under better terms. Now, can you make me a cup of coffee, please? I have a feeling this might take a while."

In reply, Kazuko swung the box with all her might, aiming for his smug little face.

Lifting one hand away from the other ghouls outstretched arm, he easily stopped the swinging box with his pale hand, shoving her backwards and watching with a raised, almost nonexistent, eyebrow as she tumbled back several steps. The ghoul on the floor gnashed his teeth together when her ankle shifted slightly closer to their mouth.

With the speed of a coiled viper, Kazuko brought her bare ankle away from the ghoul.

"Black, if you would." The ghoul nodded to her, while his voice was as calm and monotone as before, his figure seemed more tense eyeing her warily in case she made a move to hit him with the box once more.

With trembling hands and her legs shaking violently from shock, Kazuko walked to the kitchen and made the ghoul that cup of coffee, the heavy box still held closely to her chest.

Behind her, there was a sharp crack and a yell of pain.


	2. Part I: Striped Carnation

**AN: *snorts into drink* What even is an updating schedule anyway? Thank you for the positive reception to chapter one of this weird ass fever dream, and I hope your support continues through to this one. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Striped Carnation**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: The Answer Of No**

* * *

The metal chime of the teaspoon hitting the edge of the cracked ceramic mug filled Kazuko's ears. Staring into the warm void of the black coffee, she continued to stir the cheap coffee beans into the mug. Behind her, further into her house, the panting of someone's final breaths being drawn echoed along the cold wooden hallway and caused the metal spoon to lazily hit the curved edge of the cracked ceramic mug once more.

The heavy box lay on the countertop beside her, in reaching distance if need be, though Kazuko was sure it would not help her much in the long run.

What was a box against a ghoul?

What was anything against a ghoul?

Glancing at the basket of roses that she had abandoned in the alleyway, now sitting innocently on her tiny dining room table, Kazuko sighed heavily and let her shoulders fall under the weight of her soul. She could still taste blood and flesh in her mouth as if it was still there.

The creaking of floorboards behind her is the only thing that alerts her to another presence entering the room. The blond ghoul calmly walks to her table, tracking red footsteps over her rotten floorboards and sitting down. Putting down the metal spoon, Kazuko paused for several seconds before turning around and setting the cracked ceramic mug of cheap black coffee onto the table. Moving the woven basket to the counter, she dragged out the chair opposite the ghoul and sat down, watching him carefully as he sipped the coffee and made an appreciative hum.

"Are you going to kill me?" She asked, her voice flat and emotionless as she watched the blond ghoul place down the mug.

"Now what makes you say that?" He replied, his black and red eyes lifting from the mug to stare through her blue eyes and into her soul, an ice cold fear spreading across Kazuko's bones as he stared at her from across the dining room table.

"It would be a shame to let easy meat go to waste." Kazuko sneered, her hands clasping together under the table as her soul froze with fear.

The ghoul only hummed, taking another sip of his coffee.

"No." He finally stated, after several moments of blood curdling silence dragged by. "I'm not going to kill you."

"Why?" She asked, uncertainty and fear lacing her words as she spoke, her eyes never leaving him as she continued. "Why aren't you going to kill me?"

"Because I find you interesting." The ghoul shrugged, picking up his coffee and bringing it to his lips, his black and blood red eyes never leaving her blue ones. "Do I need another reason?"

There was several moments of silence, Kazuko's hands twitching under the table as she sat straighter. The ghoul across from her took several more gulps of black coffee, the blood on his hands drying into red flakes, dried smears of blood decorating the white mug.

"So, when you're finally bored of me, will kill me then?"

"Maybe." He shrugged, his head tilting like a curious bird. "What is your obsession with your death? Don't you have anything to ask me?"

"I don't find you that interesting." She answered, leaning back in her seat and crossing her legs at the ankle, her blue eyes narrowing.

"You will." The ghoul stated, scoffing into his chipped coffee mug before continuing. "That ghoul was here to kill you, it tracked you by you scent into her and was planning revenge for you tearing his ear off."

"I had inferred." Kazuko stated, her own head tilting to unconsciously mirror the ghoul.

"Your coffee needs more beans in it." The ghoul grumbled, taking another sip and easily diverting the topic of conversation.

"If you want to pay for it, I'll put the whole tin in for you." Kazuko bit back, her fear slowly eroding away into annoyance as fatigue weighed onto her brain.

As soon as her brain caught up with her mouth, Kazuko froze, her body froze. Muscles tensed in preparation to run from an angry ghoul.

However, nothing happened.

"Fair enough." The ghoul only sighed, setting down the mug and watching her, black and red eyes seeeming to pulse under the flickering artificial light. "You might want to do something about that body in the corridor while it's still dark out."

Silently, Kazuko stood and walked away from the table glancing into the corridor and scowling at the mangled body of the dark haired ghoul on the floor, the smell of rot and death beginning to fill the one floor house.

"Are you going to clean that up?" She said, entering the room once more only to see that the blond ghoul had disappeared. An empty white ceramic mug with smears of drying blood and the red footsteps from the body to her table the only indication that the event wasn't a vivid hallucination.

Well… that and the body still laying mangled in her corridor.

"Interesting, huh?" Kazuko muttered to hereself, crinkling her nose in thought. "Didn't his _Okaa-san_ ever teach him not to play with his food?"

Scoffing into the empty air, Kazuko turned back to the dead body of the ghoul, a hand resting on her hip as she thought. Whirling on the heel of her foot, Kazuko grabbed her gardening gloves and coat, before heading back to the dead body. Grabbing the ghouls cold arm, Kazuko scowled in disgust as she slowly dragged the body through the house. Stepping into the cooling air and glancing around the twisted streets, she grabbed the dead ghouls arm once more, throwing it into a dead end alley and brushing of her gloves with a sneer of disgust.

Twisting on the heel of her foot, Kazuko walked back into the house and locked the door behind her, shaking her head and telling herself to forget what had just happened.

 **...**

It was approximately three weeks later when she saw the blond ghoul again.

Softly padding out of her tiny bedroom, Kazuko jumped three feet in the air when she saw the ghoul innocently sitting at her rotting dining room table.

"I-is that a human finger?"

"Maybe, maybe not." The ghoul shoved, casually throwing the rest of the bloody appendage into his mouth and chewing obnoxiously. "I heard the CCG found the body, quick thinking by the way."

"No thanks to you." Kazuko drawled out, standing stock still in the doorway and eyeing the ghoul carefully. "Why are you here?"

"I was bored." He answered flatly, leaning back in the creaking wooden chair she had scavenged from a scrap pile. "And you provide proficient entertainment."

"How fun…" She trailed off, hesisitantly stepping into the makeshift kitchen and skirting around the table to get to the counter, her eyes never leaving the ghouls black and red one as she withdrew an apple from the fruit basket. "What if I don't provide you proficient entertainment? Will you kill me then?"

"You still have a morbid fascination with your own ending?"

"It has only been three weeks."

"How fun." The ghoul hummed, echoing her prior statement.

Throwing him an odd look, Kazuko took a bite out of her apple and turned to fully face him.

"What are you doing here? Really?" She asked, leaning against the counter.

"Is it so hard to presume that I just missed you?"

"You don't know me."

The ghoul only hummed lowly, tilting his head in curiousity and standing up from the chair. Slipping away from the counter, Kazuko softly padded around the ghoul, their eyes never leaving each other as she walked back to the open doorway, her hand resting on the curved edges and her muscles tensing in preparation to run. Taking in a deep breath, Kazuko fixed him with a stone look of her own.

"I won't kill you." The ghoul smirked, his red eye should flickering to her trembling hand. "If that's what you were wondering. I'm here because I needed to check if a wayward ghoul hadn't killed what belongs to me."

"I'm not you property." She spat back, her eyebrows knitting together slightly in confusion.

"Whatever you say, woman." The ghoul shrugged, shoving his pale hands in his pockets, blond hair falling into his face as a smirk spread across blood stained teeth.

From her place in the doorway, Kazuko decided that she was never going to trust anyone that smiled like that. Like they were currently imagining breaking you open and sorting out your insides for it was the only way that can understand what made you tick.

It reminded her of her _okaa-san_.

Against her better judgement, Kazuko took a large bite out of the apple in her hand, turned on the heel of her foot and left the ghoul standing in her kitchen. When she returned, he was gone.

He showed up the next week, and the week after that, and the week after that one, sometimes watching her silently, and other times striking up conversations about her apparent suicidal fascination or to complain she still needed to buy better coffee beans.

 **...**

"Why are you here?" He asks her one day, the sun casting golden streaks across the darkening sky. He leaned against her door way, watching her with intrigue as she gazed beneath the floorboards, searching for the rat she had caught a glimpse of a few hours earlier.

"Why are any of us here?" Kazuko said flatly leaning more into the floor and blindly searching the cold cement beneath her floorboards. "Why does the planet evolve. What did ghouls evolve from? Any other philosophical questions you want to get off your chest. Any sins?"

"I mean in the slums." The ghoul elaborated, watching her blindly search the floor with a flat look, clearly unimpressed with her efforts. "It's obvious you don't belong here. You're not a druggie, and you're probably not from some dead beat family, you talk to posh for that. So why are you here?"

"Maybe I taught myself." She waved off, scowling as she angled her arms to go deeper underneath the floorboards.

"Maybe you did, maybe you didn't." He shrugged lightly. "The fact that you're avoiding the question means you are running."

Kazuko stiffened from where she lay on the floor, slowly extracting her hand from underneath the floorboards as she watched him carefully. Looking for any moment that might signify he was going to attack her for keeping secrets from him.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." She said, echoing his previous statement. "The fact remains that it doesn't matter, I'm here now. I've got income coming in and a roof, no matter how patched up, over my head. That's all I need."

Silence ghosted around them for several seconds, the ghouls eyes flickering with something Kazuko couldn't name before he spoke once more. His question coating the room with a suffocating tension as he tiltied his head.

"What do you even do for a living?" He asked, a low growl to his voice, though genuine curiousity could be heard.

"So you're not watching me twenty-four seven, huh?" Kazuko laughed lightly, unwashed strands of dark hair falling into her face as she sat up. "I must say, I'm surprised."

"You're not answering the question."

Kazuko stiffened slightly once more, briefly recalling the handprints on her pelvis and wrists, the dark spot covered by her hair. Huffing, she blew the hair out of her face and let the floorboard fall back into place.

"What do you think every woman around here does when they get desperate enough?" She asked instead, her blue eyes burning into his red and black ones.

He doesn't have an answer for that.

He never asks her about her career again.

 **...**

 _"Darling Kazuko." Her okaa-san would whisper sardonically into her champagne flute. Her subtle makeup enchancing her features and the flowers in her hair hand-chosen, grown, and picked just for this event. "You cannot let the world define you, you let them walk over you too much, and yet you deny to conforming to their ideals. Why did I have to give birth to such an odd one. Personally, I blame your father."_

 _Kazuko only stood silently and watched the older woman down an entire flut of champagne in one go, the rings on her fingers glittering in the late evening light, casting shadows on the opulent walls around them._

Kazuko immediately startled when he when he grabbed her hand, the blond haired ghoul shifting around a sharp corner and dragging her away, not even acknowledging her as he dragged her and her basket of flowers and apples through the sharply twisted streets of the slums.

"What are you doing?" She hissed loudly, ripping her arm away from his grip and shooting him an odd look. The blond ghoul in front of her only shooting her a look of annoyance as she pulled them into a sudden stop.

"Really not the time." The male ghoul hissed back quietly, glancing sharply behind her before moving to grab her wrist once more. "Come on."

"No." Kazuko denied, turning away from him and scowling slightly, unwashed dark strands falling into her face.

"Woman." The ghoul growled, his voice becoming deep and deadly serious as he took a step closer to her. "If you do not follow me then I will snap your neck right here and right now."

"Why?" Kazuko snapped back, raising an eyebrow at the ghouls use of the word 'woman'. "Wait, do you even-"

"The ghoul from two months ago had friends, and your scent was all over his dead and mangled body." The blond cut her off, his red eyes flickering behind her once more. "You're house is swarming with lice infested ghouls and it wouldn't surprise me if the Doves were thirty minutes away at this point. If you go back, they will rip you apart, if you stay here then _I_ will rip you apart." He leaned closer, fear settling deep with Kazuko's stomach as she gazed into the blood red eyes of her natural predator. "Do you understand?"

"Oh, so you're not allowing anyone _else_ to kill me?" Kazuko huffed, standing her ground and staring back. I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you a thoundsand times; I am not a possession. Stop treating me like I am."

"Yeah, sure." The ghoul muttered, not paying much attention to her mimi rant. With his hand reaching out with the speed of a coiled viper, successfully dragging her into another part of a smaller alley. "Whatever you say woman."

"You never told me your name." Kazuko whispered harshly, her sky blue eyes seeming to shift like the day turning into night as he dragged her into another alley. "If you're so sure that you own me, can I not know your name? Do you even know mine?"

"Uta." The ghoul started simply, pulling her into the alcove of the alley way and facing her. His dyed blond hair standing out in the darkness, black and red eyes staring at her through obnoxious glasses. "And you?"

"My name is Kazuko." She frowned, craning her neck to stare up at the ghoul, a shadow darting over sky blue eyes. "Pleasure, I'm sure."

There was a quick slant in his lips at that, shadows dancing over his face as ominous black crows flew in the evening gold sky high above them. The alleyway was small, even by the slums standards, and provided little relief from the elements as Uta's eyes flickered behind them, growing dark as they found something entering the alley, a murky reflection visible in his red irises.

"Well, Kazuko." Uta grinned slightly, black and red eyes flickering behind her as a low growl filled the alley several feet away from them. Grabbing her hand, his grin became wider, blood becoming visible on his canines. "How do you feel about running?"

With a startled yell, Kazuko stumbled after Uta, shock spreading across her face as he dragged her through the alleyways, the snarling ghoul how on their heels.

" _Oh, Kazuko…" Okaa-san sighed, her gold and diamond encased hands running through Kazuko's long hair. "You would dance with the devil if he asked you nicely…"_


	3. Part I: Gladiolus

**AN:** **Hello! Here's a new chapter in preparation for the New Year. Also, thank you to everyone that has given is story support even though we're only on the third chapter. Whoo! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Gladiolus**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Strength**

* * *

Kazuko couldn't accurately recall what happened in between running out of the alleyway and ending up on the black and white checkered floor. She vaguely remembered the pain in her ankles and the shouting of ghouls behind them as they ran, the world around them fading into a blurred haze. Coughing heavily, Kazuko leaned on the checkered tiled floor her hands spread out in front of her as unwashed strands of black hair fell into her face. Her breath came out in short gasps, a cold burn enveloping her lungs as she adapted to the sudden change in temperature.

Behind her, the ghoul named Uta leaned against the oak doorway and watched her silently.

"Are you just going to stand there," she said lowly, slowly sitting up and turning to face him. "Or are you going to help me?"

Uta stared back at her, looking unimpressed while his breath came out shakily, showing the exertion the running had had on his body. Half of his body was covered by the twisted darkness of the room, and Kazuko thought he looked the every bit like the monsters she had read about.

"I'll take that as a no." Kazuko mumbled to herself, dragging herself up from the checkered tiles and glancing around the dark and spacious room.

Standing upright, though with a slight stumble, Kazuko noted the bare walls and the creeping darkness that seemed to clog every corner of the room. Pushed into one of the corners, she could make out a simple desk piled with papers and art tools.

Interesting.

"Who'd you have to kill to get such a space?" She asked, stepping forward and tilting her head to glance back to the blond ghoul that still lingered in the hallway.

"Comes with being the leader of the fourth ward." He shrugged, glancing around the dark room as well. "It has... certain benefits."

"Leader of ghouls." Kazuko huffed lightly, sarcasm dripping from her words. "Fancy."

"I'm more than just a pretty face."

"How are you the head ghoul?" Kazuko snorted softly, staring back at Uta. "How do you have time with stalking me?"

"Not everything in the world revolves around you Kazuko." Uta stated flatly, using her name for the first time since the alleyway. His head tilted slightly as he said her name, pausing and considering the three small syllables.

Something about the way he said it put Kazuko on edge.

"I never said it did." Kazuko waved off, trying to ignore her nerves and keep a straight face.

Uta only sighed heavily, watching her move around the artificial light of the dimly lit room. Kazuko scanned the plain walls and the large space over the room, running her hand on the torn leather seats that were arranged in an artful semi-circle.

Oddly serious, Kazuko turned back to Uta, her sky blue eyes a dash of vivid colour within the monochrome room.

"Are you going to keep me here permanently?"

Uta answers with no hesitation: "Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't want you dead. If you are eaten by anyone then it will be me, and me alone."

"Why?" She asked again, her voice stone but Uta could still see the soft shine of fear within her sky blue eyes.

Uta just shrugged, tilting his head like a bird, watching her carefully and giving the same reply that he usually did.

"I find you interesting."

To Kazuko, that almost sounded like a death sentence.

 **...**

When she slept that night, she dreamt that she was on a beach with a pitch black sky stretched high above her, and she already had one foot in the violent ocean before her.

It looked like the beginning of the end.

 **...**

Startling awake, Kazuko blinked her eyes open and let out a bloodcurdling scream that echoed around the dark room.

"Kami-sama!" She screamed, shoving the surprised ghoul off of her and scurrying to the doorway, her glazed blue eyes wide and filled with terror. "Please don't eat me! Uta! Uta, you bastard!"

Fumbling with the doorknob to the small room above the large checkered floor, Kazuko fell backwards when the door suddenly gave way, her body shaking as she fell into the tiny creaking hallway.

To her right, Uta stood and looked back at her with what she can only describe as genuine confusion. His blond hair fell into his face, not held up by his usual headband, and his black and red eyes stared back at her through the strands. Letting out a small squeak, Kazuko pointed a trembling finger to the startled female ghoul that she had woken up face to face with as she stared down at her.

"Who the hell is that?" She shouted, confusion and terror fuelling her anger.

Opening the door wider, Uta glanced into the dark room, realisation dawning on his face as he took in the female ghoul in the room Kazuko had been sleeping in.

"Itori." He said sharply, the woman in question tilting her head in response. "I told you not to disturb her, Kazuko here needs all the rest she can get."

Itori only laughed, and from where she sat on the floor Kazuko let out a shaking sigh of relief.

"A little warning next time?" She snapped at Uta takin in a few deep breaths and slowly climbing up from the floor.

"Chill out Kazuko." Uta only laughed, glancing down at her. "Itori don't mean you any harm."

"I would know that- if you had told me."

"But I didn't." Was Uta's tongue in cheek reply.

"But you could've." Was Kazuko's mildly irritated retort.

Uta only waved her off, inclining his head to the provocatively dressed female ghoul as she came to join them in the narrow hallway. Gently closing the door behind her.

"Kazuko, meet Itori. Itori, this is Kazuko." He introduced the two of them, his taller stature causing him to tower over them both. "Play nice girlies."

"I apologise for screaming in your face." She told the ghoul, taking a small step back as the other stepped forward.

"Do all humans react like that?" Itori asked, her eyes alight with curiousity.

"I think almost everyone does." Kazuko stated, shuffling slightly on her feet, and restlessly tapping her fingers against her thigh.

"How fascinating. Hey, 'Zuko-chan, know any interesting stories?"

"No." Kazuko said flatly, regarding the other female with suspicion.

Quickly growing bored, Uta turned on his heel and returned to his room, leaving the two females alone in the empty, narrow hallway.

"'Zuko?

"Yes, Itori?"

"Why are here?" Itori asked, when Kazuko threw her an incredulous look, the female ghoul continued. "With Uta? Surrounded by ghouls that could kill you any second?"

"Trust me." Kazuko scoffed, eyeing the ghoul carefully as she leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. "I'm asking myself the same question."

"He will hunt you down if you leave." Itori pointed out, standing opposite the human. "Uta is strongest ghoul in the fourth ward. He is the leader for a reason."

"I know." Kazuko nodded, her gaze drifting form Itori to the floor, trying to hide the defeated expression on her face.

"'Zuko?"

"Yes, Itori?"

"I don't have any human friends." Itori admitted, her normal looking eyes contrasting Uta's permanently red ones. It mildly surprised Kazuko how normal Itori looked, though, her only experiences with ghouls was with Uta and ones that wanted to eat and kill her. "Do you want to be the first?"

"Are you going to eat me?" She asked.

"No." Itori denied quickly, a scandalous look crossing her face.

"Then I would like that." Kazuko smiled hesitantly, following Itori to the lower floor.

 **...**

Kazuko is not scared of Uta.

At least, that's what she tells herself.

The ghoul himself is… confusing, to say the least. He's undoubtedly strong, and manages the fourth wards ghouls fairly well, disrupting any territory disputes with a cruel grin and bloody hands. He is a rough jokester that could easily rip of her head of he decided that she was bored of her.

The danger of her situation doesn't truly kick in until a male ghoul decided that it would be a good idea to try and eat her in Uta's presence, believing that he was stronger than him.

"Hey, Uta!" One of the thugs calls out, eyeing Kazuko as she quietly slipped onto the lower floor. Calmly talking with a chattering Itori, though her blue eyes stayed alert and constantly flickered around the room. "What's with the pet?"

Kazuko instantly settled her blue eyes on the thug, carefully regarding him, her eyes drifting over the several exits from the floor.

Though, it never does good to run from your predators.

They will catch you.

"Leave Kazuko alone." Uta waved off, his blood red eyes settling on the thug. "She's off the menu."

"You a human lover now?" The thug snorted, stepping closer to Kazuko, the only alive human in the building immediately taking a step back. "Never knew you were a pansy Uta."

"Kazuko's off the menu, Jouma." Uta repeated, the other ghoul finally gaining his full attention. The chatter around the room quieting down in light of the sudden events. "Leave her alone."

"Just a bite." Jouma disregarded stepping closer to Kazuko, the human perfectly still and watching him carefully. Itori backed away from her side after a quick glance at Uta.

"Leave her, Jouma." Uta repeated, his voice becoming tense as he slowly stood up, blond strands falling into his face.

"You have a mouth don't you, pet?" Jouma mocked her lightly, reaching out and grabbing her jaw in a bone tight grip when Kazuko moved to run back up the stairs. "What do you think of being a ghouls pet? Or has he ripped out your tongue and eaten it?"

"Let me go." Kazuko said through clenched teeth, gasping as he roughly jerked her head to the side.

"Let her go." Uta growled out walking to stand behind Jouma. "Let her go right now."

Jouma only leaned forward, trendrils of black and red bleeding into his grey eyes.

He never even got close enough to break skin.

Kazuko let out a shaking sigh of relief when Jouma was ripped away from her, her pale skin slightly red from the pressure he had put her jaw under.

"Jouma." Uta hissed, holding the thuggish ghoul up by his neck, his black and red eyes narrowed and his posture calm. "Jouma. Jouma. _Jouma_. I told you to let my Kazuko didn't I?"

The rest of the ghouls backed away from the two, Kazuko breathing heavily as she pressed her back against the black painted wall, accepting Itori's comforting hand.

"Alright." Jouma choked out, the hand around his neck tightening. "Alright. Humans yours boss, no problem."

"Glad we understand each other." Uta smiled a little too sweetly, gracelessly dropping the other ghoul to the tiled floor. "Brilliant even."

"We chill now boss?" The thug grinned, though his own blood stained his teeth.

"Oh." Uta hummed shifting his stance and letting his grin become wider. "We're _far_ from chill."

Twisting his leg up, Uta quickly kicked Jouma in the chest, causing the ghoul to tumble to the tiled floor. Before he can even think about getting back up, Uta drags him upwards by his ear and drags him to where Kazuko is standing. Itori backed away from the three quickly, casting Kazuko an apologetic look.

"Apologise to Kazuko." Uta hissed, holding the ghoul up by his ear and keeping a strangling arm around his fat neck. "Now."

The ghoul blubbers a rapid apology that she can only vaguely understand, but she accepts it with a quick nod of acknowledgement, wanting the situation to be over quickly.

With a feral grin, Uta twists his arm and successfully rips the thugs head clean off his shoulders.

Fresh blood splatters against Kazuko's pale skin and the female can only watch in horror as Uta presented the head to one of the thugs' traumatised gang members.

"Get out off the fourth ward." He tells the shaking member pleasently, thrusting the blood stained head into the others arms. "Now."

The ghoul obliges immediately, the rest of the thug members quickly following them as they hurried out of the door.

"As for everyone else…" Uta trailed off, his voice louder as her addressed the entire room. "Get out. Party's over."

Itori shot Kazuko a small smile as she passed following several other ghouls out of the door. Looking down at her bloody hands Kazuko turned towards the staircase, intending to scrub off the ghouls blood before the events of the last few minutes could do her anymore psychological damage.

"Don't move, Kazuko." Uta spoke up, grabbing her arm in a stone like grip.

They stayed like that for a few moments, until the very last ghoul left the floor, closing the large doors behind them.

"What do you want?" Kazuko asked, her voice coming out as a defeated sky.

"Next time someone talks to you like that, I want you to fight back, not wait until they make the first move."

Staring back at him, Kazuko sagged slightly under the weight of the past few weeks.

"What do you want, Uta?" She repeated, slightly louder this time as she stared back at him. "Why go to the trouble?"

"I find you interesting."

"You keep saying that." Kazuko stated, tilting her head so she could fully meet him black eyes. "But I don't know what you mean by it."

"Kazuko." Uta hummed leaning closer to her. "This is the part where I tell you to let it go and do as you are told."

" _Why_?"

" _Kazuko_."

"I'm not scared of you." Kazuko choked out, the words sounding weak to her own ears. "I'm not scared of investigators, I'm not scared of death, and I'm definitely not scared of _you_.

"Are you not?" Uta asked, his lips tilted up in the sick parody of a gentle smile. "Are you sure about that Kazuko?"

 _How_ _dare_ _he?_ Okaa-san hissed, her beautiful blue eyes alight with fury. _Does_ _he_ _not_ _know_ _who_ _we_ _are?_!

"I could stick my fingers right through your jugular and end you right now." Kazuko hissed, though her hands still shook with deeply rooted fear. The blood from the unnamed ghoul is still on her face, her arm still throbbing from where he had grabbed her.

(She is not scared of him. She is not scared of him. She's not scared. She's not scared. She's not scared. She's not. She's not. _She's_ _not!_ )

Panic bubbles in her throat and caused her blue eyes to glaze over in fresh, trembling tears as Uta moved closer to her, his warm breath dispersing across the side of her face as he talked slowly.

( _She's_ _not_ _scared_. _She's_ _not_ _scared_. _She's_ _not_ _scared_.)

"And I'll take you down with me." Uta stated calmly, not affected by her rage. "The ghouls ear that you tore off? He was mad and weak with starvation, you won't get so lucky a second time."

Tugging her arm out of his relaxed grip, Kazuko took several measured steps away from him and towards the obscured staircase that led to the upper floor.

"I want to go back home." She stated, not turning around to look at Uta. "Surely they must have moved on by now."

"Go home to what?" Uta asked, his voice echoing slightly around the large room. "To the rats? To the prejudice? To disease and cold?"

"To home." Kazuko emphasised, turning slightly on the heel of her foot to stare back at Uta, whom was now sat relaxing in his seat. "To normality. To not thinking that someone's going to rip out my throat and feed on my flesh every two seconds."

"Do you hate me Kazuko?" Uta asked, intrigue lighting up the red of his eyes to a morbid crimson as he leaned forward and braced his arms against his thighs, staring back at her. "Do you hate me for taking away your freedom?"

 _Your freedom? Okaa-san had once asked her, her tone as mocking as ever as her gold talons dug into Kazuko's pale flesh. Freedom is just an illusion, an illusion you can't waste your time on._

 _"_ Yes." Kazuko choked out, he shoulders tense and her back straight. From his seat, Uta laughed darkly and leaned backwards against the chair, his posture open and calm.

"Good girl." He murmured, his voice lost to the dark room as Kazuko hurriedly took the stairs two at a time.

She didn't look back at him, just his under the threadbare covers and prayed ( _begged_ ) to a God that she didn't believe in.

 **...**

"Are you doing anything life essential?"

"Kami-sama!" Kazuko gasped, pressing a hand against her thudding heart. Whirling around, she glared at the frowning ghoul behind her. "Haven't I told you to knock! No, I'm not doing anything life essential. What is it?"

Uta didn't reply. Remaining silent and grabbing her hand. Throwing her only scarf in her face as he dragged her out the room, his stupidly face glasses were on his face, effectively hiding his eyes from unsuspecting humans as he dragged her outside the studio.

With a small squeak and mutter of confusion, Kazuko hurriedly wrapped the worn black scarf around her neck, fastening it to protect herself from the cooling air around them.

"Uta." She hissed quietly glancing around them and trying to keep up with Uta's pace. "Uta, where are we going?"

Coming to a quick stop at the edge of the street, Uta pointed upwards, towards the roof of a small office building at the edge of the fourth ward. Stepping forward slightly and narrowing her eyes, Kazuko could vaguely see a lone figure sat on the higher parts of the roof.

"That's Mr. Crow." Uta explained quickly, curiousity decorating his voice as he slipped into the dark office building and dragged her up the stairs towards the roof. "He's just shown up out of nowhere and picking fights with everyone that looked at him the wrong way. A scavenger as well, not killing for his meat."

"So you find him interesting." Kazuko summarised, her breath coming out through short pants as they finally reached the door towards the roof.

"Exactly." Uta grinned, barraging onto the rooftop and dragging Kazuko back into the cold air with him. "Hello, Mr. Crow! wonderful weather we're having, isn't it?"

"Don't you have other friends to go and bother." Was the white haired ghouls only reply.

"I do, but Kazuko is human."

"We're not friends." The female in question grumbled, casting Uta a side glare as she snatched her hand back to her chest.

Uta only laughed lightly.

"You like heights Mr. Crow?" Uta asked, tilting his head back up to stare, at the white haired male ghoul.

"That's not my name." The other ghoul stated not even glancing at them.

"That's what everyone calls you, because that's what I call you." Uta shrugged, climbing up to sit with unnamed ghoul while Kazuko stayed on the lower part of the roof, staring up at them with a mixture of wariness and confusion as Uta continued. "Showing up out of nowhere and scavenging for dead flesh… It's perfect for you don't you think? Can I sit?"

Kazuko never let her sky blue eyes leave the white haired ghoul, knowing the exact moment she had gained his attention.

"You are human?" The mystery ghoul asked, finally catching up with Uta's incessant ramblings.

Uta's carefree expression immediately glimmer with seriousness, as he glanced from Kazuko to the scavenger ghoul, his back straightening slightly.

"I am." Kazuko answered softly after breathing in deeply. "Is that a problem? My understanding is that you hunt the dead, not the living."

The ghoul stayed silent for a second, regarding her with distrust.

"Are you a Dove?"

Uta snorted at this, resting backwards on his hands and laughing openly. His head thrown back with mirth while both the scavenger and Kazuko remained perfectly silent.

"Kazuko a Dove?" Uta snorted, throwing the other ghoul an odd look. "Please, the girls terrified of every one of them she comes across. 'Bout screamed my head off a few weeks ago about the issue. She isn't gonna hut you."

Kazuko remained silent, turning her face away from the two ghouls to stare at the view of the city that she could see from the rooftop. Watching lights buzz through the dark streets of the fourth ward. Unconsciously, her eyes drifted to were normal society broke off and the houses were smaller and built more closely together.

The slums.

Her home.

Her death.

She didn't even know anymore.

Even though her gaze was away from them, she could still hear the two ghouls behind her in perfect detail.

"If you don't want to be called Mr. Crow, tell me your name already. I'm Uta, you've probably figured out that she's Kazuko. You?"

The scavenger mumbled something that Kazuko couldn't hear.

"Rectal discharge?" Uta asked, only half joking. The assumption made Kazuko's lips tilt upward slightly.

" _Renji_!" The scavenger said more clearly, obviously offended by the assumption.

"Why do you do what you do Renji?" Uta asked. "I know killings fun, but let's not fight. I want a friend close to my age."

"I wanna be strong…" Renji answered a few moments later.

This caught her attention.

Turning on her heel, Kazuko watched the two ghouls with renewed interest.

"Why?" Uta said, intrigued.

"You're strong…" Renji stated, leaning back and resting on his hands. "Tell me. How did you get to be so strong?"

"I dunno." Uta smirked. "What? You on some kind of quest?"

Uta laughed loudly at this, but Kazuko continued to watch Renji with interest, her light blue eyes watching him as she brought the scarf closer to her face.

What was a posh boy like him doing in the fourth ward?

Whatever reason it was, she didn't trust it.


	4. Part I: Petunia

**AN: Whoo! New chapter! Thank you so much for all the love this story has currently received, and we're just on chapter 4! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Petunia**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Hidden Disdain**

* * *

Restlessly, Kazuko tapped her sharp nails on the surface of the table, watching Uta pace around the make shift kitchen space with a slight scowl.

"If I didn't know you better," Kazuko started after a small hesitation, the tapping sound of her nails against the cheap wood echoed get around the small room as she spoke. "I'd say you were worried about something."

"The Doves." Uta hissed, throwing her a quick sneer. "They're coming to the fourth ward as part of their new 'protect all life' measure."

"I don't know what they're expecting to find." Kazuko hummed thoughtfully, the tapping having reached a slow and steady rhythm as she spoke. "At this point most of the fourth ward is either, dead, dying, or a ghoul. They're not going to find any life worth saving."

"That's the point." Uta said through clenched teeth, facing away from her and towards the door. "They are not planning to protect any life, only to eradicate ghouls."

"A shame for you." Kazuko said, focusing on Uta's back. "I suppose we all meet our end eventually, some just slightly quicker than others. A bit sad really, for you to just die like that, I'd just gotten used to you. Anyway-"

"Kazuko if you do not shut up right now then I'm going to rip out your tongue." Uta threatened, spinning around and facing the table with a growl.

The tapping sound instantly ceased.

Withdrawing her hand from the table, Kazuko looked at Uta like someone would look at a rabid dog, just waiting for him to launch himself across the small table and attack her.

Breathing out heavily, Uta rested his forearms on the table, his shoulders falling in defeat.

Neither of them spoke, Kazuko's chair pushing back with a small screech as she sat up and met Uta's eyes.

"If you wish for my death so much Kazuko than you can find away to kill me yourself." Uta stated flatly, staring into her storm blue eyes as the room around them seemed to drop in temperature. "But I assure you that I am not going to die in the hands of some pathetic CCG Officer."

Kazuko only clicked her tongue and tilted her head with a slight hum.

"What a shame."

 **...**

Kazuko made no noise as she sat next to Uta on the two seated armchair, her legs crossed and her head held high as she scanned the room. If it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of her chest, and the way her hands trembled even though they were clenched tightly, you would've presumed she was just a life sized porcelain doll.

"They've been sending in more and more Doves." A large ghoul told Uta, though his normal looking eyes kept flickering to the silent Kazuko. "We lost guys, they're trying to clean out the fourth ward."

"And are so far successful by the sounds of it." Uta muttered, low enough so only Kazuko could faintly hear him. The only living human in the room, swallowing down another tremor of fear as another large ghoul shuffled slightly closer.

"The problem isn't the number of investigators, it's the guy leading them." The other leader continued. "Most of out casualties have been because of him."

"An assistant special investigator." A low voice spoke up from the back, though Kazuko didn't turn her head in fear of exposing a neck. "Arima…"

"You know him?" Uta asked, turning his eyes and tilting his head backwards to watch Yomo. "Second from the top rank, eh? Not bad for such a young dude."

"Arima. He's mine…" Yomo stated in such a tone, that a freezing chill settled on Kazuko's very bones and her hands clenched impossibly tighter. "Uta. I want in."

"This is unusual." Uta laughed lightly, the rings in his bottom lip catching the light as he grinned. "I'm surprised to see you so upset. However the decision doesn't fall to me. Kazuko, my darling human, you're a good judge of character. Do you think we should take him along?"

Kazuko's eyes slid shut as Uta's permanently black and red gaze fell upon her, knowing her was mocking her.

"Don't call me that." Kazuko hissed, her blue eyes slowly revealing themselves to the silent room once more. "You wish to fight this Arima then Yomo?"

"Yes." The scavenger crow said meeting her eyes as she slowly turned to face him lounging on the darkly painted wall.

"To the death?"

"If necessary."

Wordlessly, Kazuko met Uta's eyes and raised an eyebrow at Yomo's behaviour.

"He can go." Kazuko sighed in defeat, noticing the dark look in Uta's eyes. "Though I do believe that he will be a liability."

"Hear that Yomo, you're going." Uta smirked happily, tilting his head to turn back to Yomo. "Why the interest in him anyway?" Yomo didn't reply. "Your usual silence again?"

Closing her eyes and blocking the room from her senses, Kazuko let out a small scream of frustration and fear before she buried the noise in the depths of her thoughts once more.

 **...**

"He's a major liability." Kazuko hissed once everyone had left the room. "I can't believe you're letting him go."

"If memory serves Kazuko, you were the one that let him go." Uta pointed out, fiddling with the mask on his makeshift desk as he spoke.

"Oh, what was I supposed to say!" Kazuko snapped, waving her hands around in frustration. "The crow sets my teeth on edge and you know it. What are you planning Uta?"

"Who says I'm planning anything?"

"You're always planning something." Kazuko muttered, turning on her heel and pacing the length of the room before turning back to Uta. "Why?"

"I want to see what will happen." Uta stated, holding up the black leather mask to the light. The plain black crows beak strangely menacing even in the familiar setting of the room.

"Of course." Kazuko sighed, running her hands across her face. "Of course you do, because Kami forbid that you our ever left curious about something."

"I'm meeting him on top of the new construction site before the showdown if you wanna come and interrogate him then." Uta continued, taking no notice of her statement. "Maybe you'll get more out of him then I will."

Kazuko muttered her soft agreement and glared at the tiled below her feet.

She didn't trust him.

Not one bit.

Neither of them.

 **...**

"What are your motivations in killing this investigator Yomo?" Kazuko asked, bracing herself of the new stone framework, and tilting her head questioningly. "Is it for glory? Compensation?"

"Revenge." Yomo answered her, his voice low and tainted with memories.

"How come?" Kazuko probed further, interested in his answer. "What's your story, little crow?"

"How come you're hanging out with a ghoul as violent as Uta when you're human?" Yomo asked, redirecting the conversation effortlessly. "What's the story behind that?"

 _Clever_. A voice in her head that sounded remarkably like her Okaa-san remarked.

"Quid pro quo, huh?" Kazuko hummed leaning backwards and staring up at the stars.

The two were alone on top of a concrete building in the richer part of the fourth ward, Uta having left them to talk several minutes ago as he left to organise his gang.

"I ran into Uta a while back, nearly eleven months ago now." Kazuko started, making note of the constellation to her far right as she continued. "Well, I ran into a fight and was able to tear off the ear of the ghoul he was fighting. He found me interesting and hasn't let me go since. Says he wants nothing more than to delve his bloodied fingers into my brain just to see what he could find there."

"And so many things I have discovered about the human mind." Uta stated dramatically, appearing sat next to Kazuko, slinging his arm around her shoulders and grinning manically. "Oh, darling Kazuko, you're so kind to me."

"Don't call me that." Kazuko scowled at him, shrugging off his arm. "We had a deal crow boy, what's your story?"

"It's a common one." Yomo started, gaining Kazuko and Uta's full attention. "I had a much older sister, our parents and brother were killed before I knew what was going on. It was just the two of us. She was a strong person, and I didn't have anything beside her." Kazuko and Uta shared a look, both of them knowing where this was going. "The guy who killed my sister was a sixteen year old kid appointed as a ghoul investigator under the special division. Kishō Arima, after achieving success against the Owl was promoted two ranks. He's undefeated. The CCG's Reaper."

"And his eradication target was your sister." Uta finished, Yomo's silence being the only answer he needed.

"A suicide mission for revenge." Kazuko sighed, lying against the newly dried concrete, her black hair spread out around her as she lay down. "You sure know how to pick them Uta."

Humming his agreement, Uta stood up, staring out over the flats and hidden slums in the landscape before them.

"You're a good brother." He stated, gaining the other ghouls attention. "Okay, we'll help you get revenge."

"We?" Kazuko scoffed from where she lay staring up at the stars. "Try again."

"I'll help you get revenge." Uta corrected with a small smile. "He's conveniently in the fourth ward right now. Plus, we're friends right?"

Kazuko dragged her head up just in time to see Yomo smile.

Maybe you're not so bad little crow. She considered, giving her own answering smile. Maybe you're not so bad after all…

"Don't just lay there Kazuko." Uta chided, hopping down form the ledges and onto the flat roof that Kazuko was draped across. "You are going back to the den, and you're not going to move from there until I come back."

"I'm going, I'm going." Kazuko grumbled, Uta's hand lashing out and grabbing her wrist before she could take another step.

"If I come back and you're not here, I'm going to rip off your legs." Uta said calmly, fixing the blank metal mask over his face and loosening his grip on her wrist. "You don't need legs when I just want to figure out how your mind works."

Kazuko only smiled charmingly as she adjusted the strap on the back of his mask, used to his threats at this point.

"Well, I better pray that you don't come back then." Kazuko hummed, turning her back on Uta with a small laugh. "I'll see you later if your suicide mission succeeds Yomo."

The white haired ghoul waved back to her as she climbed through the hatch and slowly dropped through the buildings floors. Uta and Yomo no longer visible on the roof when she finally got to completely solid ground once more.

If she did run, Uta would do far worse than just rip off her legs.

Turning on the heel of her worn boots, Kazuko calmly breezed through the back streets of the fourth ward towards the boarded up house known as Uta's hideout.

Slowing to a stop, Kazuko gazed through the gaps in between the derelict buildings and silently watched the large group of white coated individuals stroll through the fourth ward.

As white as doves, Kazuko mused calmly, I can see where the nickname came from.

" _Why_ _don't_ _you_ _run_?" Okaa-san asked, murmuring in her ear as they both watched the investigators. " _Just_ _run_ _and_ _never_ _look_ _back_."

"If I run then I die." Kazuko told the empty space, ripping her eyes away from the investigators and continuing on her walk back.

" _If_ _you_ _stay_ _then_ _you_ _die_." Okaa-san pointed out, breezing next to her calmly, her deep pink lipstick bringing out the natural snow white tone of her skin. " _What_ _do_ _I_ _always_ _tell_ _you_ _Kazuko_?"

"This isn't about that Okaa-san." Kazuko murmured, opening the wooden door to the renovated house and softly closing it behind her, the darkness from outside following her in. "I'd be running for the rest of my life."

" _Listen to your Okaa-san, darling Kazuko…"_ She only hummed darkly, her jewelled hand moving to wrap around Kazuko's neck. " _You know I'm always right…"_

Flickering on the light, the faint memory of her mother dissolved from the room. Kazuko standing in the spacious room alone.

"Kishō Arima." Kazuko mused out loud. "Now, where have I heard that name before…"

 **...**

Uta and his gang returned in slightly shorter numbers and, most notably, without Yomo.

"So, it was a suicide mission…" Kazuko trailed off, sitting across form Uta when he had ordered the rest of the ghouls away, noticing how many of them threw hungry looks at Kazuko. "A shame, I had just grown used to him."

"Not quite." Uta stated, accepting the package from Kazuko and digging his teeth into the human fingers within it. Kazuko forcing herself to swallow the burning bile that rose up in her throat as she watched him. "Someone took him."

"An investigator took him?" She asked incredulously, raising a disbelieving eyebrow at him.

"No, not an investigator." He denied, shaking his head. "Another ghoul. A strong one by the look of it."

"Well, good for him." Kazuko said, her face scrunching up slightly before it relaxed. "Maybe he can reach a destination in his quest to become stronger."

"Maybe. That's the most optimistic outcome." Uta agreed.

"The most pessimistic?"

"The Doves take over and all of us starve."

"Fun."

"I know right."

The sudden sound of a knock on the door suddenly ripping through the companionable silence the two had fallen into.

Both of them shot up, turning to stare at the door. Motioning with his finger for her to answer the door, Uta stayed close behind Kazuko, staying out of sight as she cracked open the door.

"Yomo." Kazuko sighed in relief, motioning for Uta to step out of the shadows and pulling the door wider to let the white haired male and his darkly dressed companion into the den. "Thank Kami, Uta here had me believing you were dead."

The male ghoul was silent, though nodded in acknowledgment of her and Uta.

"And you are?" Kazuko asked, turning towards Yomo's darkly dressed companion, Uta still lingering behind her.

"My apologies," the older male smiled back at her kindly. "It's just you remind me of someone I once met."

"Well, hopefully that person inspires good memories." Kazuko smirked kindly, bowing her head before the elderly ghoul as was the customary manners her Okaa-san had drilled into her. "I am Kazuko. Kazuko Saitō. Behind me is Uta."

"A pleasure to meet you Saitō-san." The ghoul smiled, bowing back. "I am Yoshimura."

"A pleasure as well Yoshimura-san." Kazuko said, reflecting his term of address with a practiced expertise.

"Posh." Uta coughed behind her, receiving a sharp elbow in the stomach from Kazuko. "Woman! I was joking."

"Manners." Kazuko hissed back at him, walking to meet Yomo and Yoshimura in the meeting room. "How can we help you?"

"We just came to inform you of Yomo's new living arrangements." Yoshimura said, cutting straight to the point. "He will be staying with me for a time being."

Uta scoffed from where he stood behind Kazuko, red pupils watching the two other ghouls carefully.

"If that is what you wish." Kazuko smiled diplomatically, her eyes flashing with something unnameable. "Though, if you don't mind me asking, why?"

"Much like Uta here in the fourth ward, I am the so called leader of the twentieth ward. I cannot do my duty and still travel here to train Yomo, so I must take him with me."

Turning her head to Yomo, who had been silent throughout the conversation, Kazuko stated the obvious: "For your sister?"

Yomo nodded.

Acquiescing with a nod, Kazuko clapped her hands together and smiled politely.

"Well, I don't have a problem with that. Uta?"

Uta nodded his consent, though his eyes never left Yoshimura.

"Brilliant." Kazuko smiled, turning back to their two guests. "Can I offer you two anything before you leave?"

 **...**

"Do you trust him?" Uta asked her lowly, both of them watching Yomo and Yoshimura travel down the cobblestoned pathway, Uta's arm slung around her shoulders while Kazuko's eyes were completely crossed and her eyes slanted in suspicion.

"About as far as I can throw him."

"Not at all then." Uta laughed lowly, squeezing her shoulders in gentle approval. Tilting his head to stare at her with a light smile, blond strands pushed away from his face.

Kazuko only hummed in mild agreement.

"Good." Uta nodded, turning back to the street to watch the two figures fade into the distance. "I don't trust him either."

 **...**

Two days later, Kazuko calmly padded down the stairs, moving to get some water from the fridge. Walking past an open doorway that led into the meeting room, when she stopped suddenly, her ears picking up the sound of her name.

"You cannot keep her Uta." One of Uta's lead thugs was arguing, his gang nodded behind her. "She's human, just eat her and be done with it."

"She's mine." Uta growled back, baring his blood stained teeth at the thug. "I'll decide when I'm done with her, alright? Do I have to remind you what happened to the last ghoul that insulted her?"

"She's food."

"She's mine. She'll die when I think she deserves to die."

A lifetime spent as a ghouls play doll, Kazuko thought, hiding in the doorframe of the hallway.

How ironic.

Escape one controlling figure, only to be giving true freedom by another.

Sweet, sweet, irony…

" _Kazuko_ …" Her mother reprimanded into her ear. " _Don't you remember what I always taught you? What do I always say?"_

 _"_ Save yourself." Kazuko whispered into the empty darkness of the hallway, her head resting against the wall. "Kill them all."

Kazuko remembered the feeling of the other ghouls flesh in her mouth. She remembered, past the prevailing thoughts of disgust and adrenaline, how powerful she had felt. How right it had felt.

" _Save yourself."_ Okaa-san continued to chant softly into her ear with a large grin spreading across her sharp features. " _Kill them all."_

It was obvious, wasn't it?

She had to kill Uta before he could kill her.

(Game On.)


	5. Part I: Asphodel

**AN: Whoo! I'm back! Between life getting away and this chapter being so hard, I haven't been able to update... but now I'm back and with this the plot can really start *evil laughter* Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Asphodel**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: My Regrets Follow You To The Grave**

* * *

Shoving her hands in the pockets of Uta's old jacket, Kazuko stepped of the train and into the streets of the twentieth ward. Digging up the crumpled up piece of paper from her pocket, Kazuko quickly glanced over the address and moved with the crowd out of the station and into the streets of the ward.

The twentieth ward was a nice place, with quaint flats and houses and good schools, little poverty and a good economic provenance with cute little shop around every corner.

Everything the fourth ward wasn't.

Everything the slums wasn't.

Pity.

Her battered shoes made small thuds as she jogged across the road, coming to a stop before a large oak and glass door. Glancing at the sign on her left, Kazuko tilted her head as she read the kanji.

Anteiku.

How... quaint.

Opening the door and jogging up the small staircase, Kazuko stumbled into the shop a golden bell ringing above her. The shop was empty, unsurprising as it was a work day and the middle of the afternoon, in a few hours she was sure the shop would fill up with tired businessmen and students looking for their daily fix of caffeine before having to get back to work.

"Welcome to Anteiku." A female voice welcomed her, Kazuko not acknowledging the voice at it continued, continuing to scan the coffee shop. "What can I get you?"

"I've never really understood the coffee thing." Kazuko stated, turning her head to stare at the waitress she knew to be a ghoul. "Why is it just coffee? Surely, with that logic, you would also be fine drinking water, milk, or eating sugar. You know, everything that goes into making a good coffee... Why not coffee cake? That has almost exact same ingredients, yet-"

Kazuko was cut off as the waitress lunged for her, knocking her to the floor and wrapping her pale hands around the humans neck.

"How do you know that?" The ghoul hissed down at her, her hands wrapping around her throat tighter as Kazuko fell silent. "How? You're not a ghoul, and you don't dress like a Dove either, so how-"

This woman could intimidate her all she liked, she was like a small bunny compared to what Kazuko dealt with on a daily basis in the fourth ward.

"Kaya." A strong voice interrupted, hands pulling the women away from Kazuko. "Let her go."

"Who have you provoked now, darling Kazuko?" A low voice questioned, Uta slipping of his glasses to reveal his eyes as he stepped into the coffee shop.

"I thought you were at least five minutes behind me." Kazuko coughed out, staring up at the ceiling from where she lay on the floor.

"You took the long way round." Uta shrugged, watching her climb to her feet. "Hey Mr. Crow."

Reiji nodded from where she stood next to the waitress- Kaya if Kazuko hadn't been hallucinating from oxygen-less recreation.

Yoshimura patted Kaya on the shoulder and smiled warmly to Uta and Kazuko in welcome.

"How may I help you two today?" He asked, tilting his head pleasantly.

Shoving his hands in the pockets of his own jacket, Uta rocked back and forth of the balls of his feet, blowing a strand of darkening blond hair out of his face before answering.

"The fourth ward is facing a big issue with the investigators..." He finally said, Kazuko nodding from where she stood slightly behind him. "The numbers of ghouls there are dropping by the hour as the Doves capture them. Food is becoming scarce and harder to capture by the day. They're trying to starve us out into the open."

"Patrols are frequent, and they're beginning to question the general populace." Kazuko continued. "No one will tell them anything, and if they don't get information soon they're going to launch a full scale attack on everyone- not just ghouls. The government have been waiting for a long time to get rid of the slums, and now they've finally found their excuse."

"Kaya, Enji," Yoshimura began, motioning to the large male ghoul that stood behind the counter. "I'd like you too meet Uta and Saitō Kazuko. Uta is the leader of the fourth ward. This is Koma Enji, and Irima Kaya, they work here at Anteiku." Uta nodded in greeting, Kazuko waving slightly with a smile. "Would you both like some coffee? It's quite a slow afternoon so we have no risk of being overheard."

"Do you sell-"

"We're not here for your damn coffee." Uta cut her off. "We're here for meat before all of us starve to death."

"But I wanted a latte..." Kazuko muttered, Enji nodding to her behind the counter and turning and grabbing a jar of coffee beans from behind him.

"I wish we at Anteiku could help you quickly." Yoshimura told Uta seriously. "But it would take at least three weeks to gather the supplies the fourth ward need as well as taking care of ourselves."

"Then we will hold out for three weeks." Uta replied. Kazuko accepting the latte offered to her and handing a single note to Enji with a smile, accepting the change. "We in the fourth ward are strong while you in the twentieth ward have grown mellow with your nice life without any major presence from Investigators."

"Uta," Kazuko called out, sipping on her drink from where she had migrated to on of the tables. "Play nice."

"When you can gather the supplies, we will appreciate them." Uta stated, stepping away from the older ghoul and handing him a small piece of paper. "When you have them, come to this address, if all of the fourth ward isn't dead by then."

A still silence fell across the room.

"Kazuko." Uta called, breaking the tense silence as he turned towards the door. "We're leaving."

"Don't mind him." She told Yoshimura, turning to him as Uta left the coffee shop, likely waiting for her outside. "He's more worried and paranoid then he likes to show."

"You're human." Kaya spoke up, Kazuko's blue eyes flickering to her, black hair framing her thin face as her lips twitched into a small smile.

"Of course." Kazuko teased, tilting her head.

"Then why-"

"Uta finds me interesting." She stated quickly, moving to the door. "You should really get back to me about that coffee thing though. Also, Yoshimura-san, while that flower is incredibly pretty," she paused for a second gesturing to the flower in the vase on the counter. "It's an Asphodelus. It's meaning isn't quite as pretty as the flower. Wouldn't want customers to get the wrong impression..."

"What does it mean then?" Yoshimura asked, genuinely curious.

Kazuko smiled slightly, opening the door and stepping through, waving to Renji as she went. Turning her head back to a Yoshimura, she answered.

"It means: my regrets follow you to the grave."

With the chime of the bell, they were both gone as quickly as they came.

 **...**

Kazuko was watched Uta from where she sat on the edge of the stairs.

The male ghoul had grown paranoid, watching his subordinates with suspicion, waiting for one of them to make a move against him because of his fluctuating control of the fourth ward. It had been three weeks with no new news from the twentieth ward.

It was safe to assume they had been abandoned to fend for themselves despite their plea.

If she wasn't terrified for her safety and her life, Kazuko would find the whole ordeal slightly amusing.

" _Save yourself,_ " She could almost hear her Okaa-san continue to hum. " _Kill them all..._ "

 _I'm working on it._ Kazuko would've replied if the apparition was actually sat next to her.

Glancing to the kitchen to Uta, Kazuko leaned back on the stairway and watched Uta boil in his own frustration.

"Kazuko." The ghoul eventually drawled out, hiding his frustration with a lazy tone. "Darling Kazuko..."

If she knew he wasn't a single step away to snapping under the pressure the Doves put the ward under, she would've retorted.

"What?" She asked instead.

"Come here." He beckoned her to where he sat on the chair across the room from her.

Pushing herself up from her position, the human walked to stand in front of the chair, folding her hands and staring back at the thin ghoul.

"You look ill." She commented casually, narrowing her deep blue eyes at him.

Uta only scoffed, leaning his head back on the chair. From where she stood, Kazuko could see the natural black roots of Uta's hair growing back through the blond hair dye. For once, his ridiculous circular glasses were absent from his face and his black and red eyes gazed back at her.

"I can trust you can't I, Darling?"

Kazuko's eyes narrowed further.

"Why?"

"Oh Kazuko..." He murmured, pushing himself to his feet with such a speed that Kazuko hastily took a step back. "Kazuko with her flowers, her enigmas, and her fear. Answer the question: I can trust you, can't I?"

He leaned closer to her face, using his taller stature to his advantage as she swallowed nervously, panic beginning to wrap its cruel hands around her throat.

If he found out about her plan to kill him, she might of well start digging her own grave now.

 _Kami-sama_ , she silently begged, _help me_.

"Yes." She finally forced out through her mouth, trying to tilt her head away as Uta leaned closer, the ghoul only caught her chin, tilting her head back to look into his eyes as he spoke.

"Good." Uta nodded. His black and red eyes darker than usual in the low light of the room. "That's the odd thing with you humans Kazuko, your life is so fickle. You see, if you did betray me, I wouldn't hesitate to eat you. I'd gouge out those pretty blue eyes and keep you alive just to let you hear me eat them." Kazuko let out a long, shaking, exhale. "And trust me Kazuko, when I say I'm starving."

Uta ran his thin fingers down her cheekbone, staying close to her while Kazuko was still too afraid to move.

"You do have very pretty eyes, darling." Uta muttered. "I could paint a thousand shades of blue and still not find the exact shade. Would your eyes taste as good as they look Kazuko?" She was silent. "Well?"

"I wouldn't know." Kazuko said with a numb tongue.

Uta only tilted his head like a bird and fully let go of her face, spinning around on the heel of his foot before pausing and turning back to her.

"Don't give me any reason to find out."

He retreated into the back room, likely to work out a new feeding strategy, leaving her standing in the middle of the room, trembling like a leaf.

Oh, she was going to kill him.

His threats had only confirmed it.

 **...**

Saitō Kazuko wasn't an expert in ghouls, but she knew that a knife straight through the heart would put anybody down.

It was late at night, the sky bleeding into a soft pink and orange as dusk descended on the fourth ward. Uta had gone to bed hours ago to rest, slowly wasting away because of starvation, most likely asleep by now.

Tiptoeing down the stairs and into the kitchen, Kazuko slowly pulled open the kitchen drawer, glancing over the knives resting there.

Who knew ghouls liked to use big knives to share out the meat instead of just tearing into it?

It didn't matter to her, they were just useful to her plan.

With trembling fingers, she picked up the carving knife from the drawer and should it gently, careful not to make too much noise. Clutching the nice close to her chest, Kazuko tiptoed up the steps once more, stopping at the first door in the hallway and pressing her ear against it.

Silence.

Opening the door, Kazuko flinched as it creaked, silently slipping in like a ghost as she kept one blue eyes on the sleeping ghoul.

Hesitating, Kazuko glanced at the knife and back to Uta.

She could just leave, put the knife back and pretend this whole plan was a fever dream. She could still talk to Itori like she did every morning and never return to her rat infested house in the slums. However, that meant she could wake up any morning, whether it be tomorrow or months from now, with her throat cut down to her vocal cords.

Her hand tightened around the handle of the carving knife.

Save yourself.

Kill them all.

Tip toeing forward, Kazuko gently lowered herself to kneel on the mattress on the floor next to Uta's resting form. Raising the knife, Kazuko pressed the heels of her palms into the handle to try and stop her arms from shaking. Making sure the tip of the knife was pointed to his heart, Kazuko squared her shoulders and took in a deep breath.

And plunged the knife downwards.

It is to be repeated that Saitō Kazuko is not an expert on ghouls.

The knife bent the instant it touched his skin. The metal bending in on itself and not leaving even a scratch on the ghoul.

Uta's eyes slowly opened where he lay, taking in her trembling form above him and the ruined knife still resting against his chest.

Choking on her own horror, Kazuko sat frozen as Uta flicked the ruined carving knife away from him like it was nothing. Both of them staring at the ruined metal before slowly turning back to stare at each other.

"Oh Kami-sama..." Kazuko choked out, her whole body beginning to shake.

"Oh Kazuko..." Uta murmured, mocking her slightly and staring back at her with a slightly crazed look. "You have ten seconds to run."

Kazuko didn't waste any time.

Leaping of Uta, she threw open the door to the room and stumbled down the stairway, part of her brain vaguely noted the sound of Uta moving when she was half way down the stairs. Picking up her speed, Kazuko stumbled off the last step and into the open area that was the downstairs. Quickly veering left, she reached out a pale hand, her fingertips brushing against the handle.

Only for hands to throw her back into the centre of the room.

Her back hit the checkered tiles painfully, bells ringing in her head as her had quickly followed, smacking against the tiles due to the force she was thrown backwards.

Groaning in pain, Kazuko blinked away the haze over her eyes, moving her elbows and legs to try and move back. Hands fell on her elbows, legs keeping her knees to the floor as she tried to kick out.

"Oh, Kazuko..." Uta murmured, successfully pinning her down and towering above her. "Kazuko that was the wrong decision."

She only groaned in reply, trying to twist her body out of his grip as the ringing continued to echo around her skull.

"Do you have absolutely any idea how long I have wanted to eat you?" Uta hissed, the outline of his ribs obvious through the thin shirt he wore. "Do you know how long I have been starving? No, I convinced myself again and again and again, I won't eat Kazuko because she's one of my friends and I'm not that much of a monster to eat my friends. So, I begin to eat my own instead, I ate my own just so I wouldn't eat you." A low growl filled the room, Kazuko gasping in pain as Uta put more pressure on her limbs. "I told you Kazuko, I warned you what would happen if you betrayed me. Are you going to beg? Oh please beg, this would make this even more interesting..."

Kazuko only spat in his face.

"Darling Kazuko..." Uta grinned, not even acknowledging the spit on his cheek. The ghoul only began to laugh loudly, leaning closer to her face so that their noses were touching, his laughter continuing to echo around the large room, adding to the ringing in her head. "Darling, I'm going to tear out your eyes."

There was a bang as the front door was forced open, but Kazuko only registered the sudden burning pain in her face and neck.

Opening her mouth, Kazuko let out a gurgling scream, thrashing about as she felt the teeth sink into the side of her neck.

Blood dripped into her eyes and distorted her vision, red crowding her eyes as hands grabbed at her from seemingly all angles, jerking her away from Uta's blood stained manic grin. Her head collided with the black and white checkered tiles, blood filling her mouth as it pooled onto the floor, causing her to choke and splutter, cutting of her terrified scream.

Kazuko watched in a daze as thick blood travelled from her aching upper arm, to pool down her forearms and reach its destination in the small dip in her outstretched palm. The blood collected there until it dripped through the gaps between her long, pale, and slightly curved fingers to drip onto the white square her hand rested on.

It was morbidly beautiful.

I mopped this. Kazuko thought in a daze, her tired eyes moving away from her arm and focusing once more on the expensive leather shoes that stopped in front of her, gently guiding her off of the floor.

"Saitō-san?" A male voice was asking softly, calling her from the void she was slowly drifting into. Cool hands reaching out to hold her face. Kazuko flinched back as his hands touched the burning gashes in her skin."Saitō-san, can you hear me?"

 _"Get up, Kazuko"_ Okaa-san hissed into her ear. _"You're being an embarrassment."_

Get up.

Get up.

.Getup.

GET UP!

My face hurts, another part of her whimpers. Why does my face hurt so much?

Okaa-san? Okaa-san, it hurts so much...

Okaa-san, have you left me again?

The last thing she saw was Yomo holding a manically laughing Uta back until her head roughly collided with the floor once more.

 **...**

Kazuko envisioned on ocean. A deep, dark ocean stretched over the horizon and glowing in the light of the moon.

While the air was calm, the water up to her waist was wild. Attacking her pale legs, and climbing up her stomach with every small step she took, swallowing every piece of flesh that came to close to it. However, Kazuko didn't stop, she kept walking forward through the ink black turbulent waters, blue eyes fixed on the large moon above her.

The water was up to her chest, up to her neck, up to her mouth.

One. Deep. Breath.

And then it took her.

Under the water, Kazuko opened her mouth and _screamed._


	6. Part I: Myosotis

**AN: This chapter's a tad shorter than the others, but oh well! It be like that sometimes... Anyway, thank you for all the new follows, favourites and reviews *squeals happily* I do like it when you guys write me reviews, it makes me more motivated to write. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Myosotis**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Don't Forget Me**

* * *

She doesn't die.

She tries not to be disappointed.

She feels her lips touch the peaceful mask of death before she's ripped out of its weak grasp and finds herself choking on her own blood, laying on her back against the black and white tiles of the room.

Vaguely, she recognises Uta's manic hollers and Yoshimura's soft voice trying to bring her back into reality.

"Please..." She choked out, gripping onto Yoshimura's hand and staring up at him with wide blue eyes. "Please..."

Even she doesn't know what she's begging for, for death, life, or maybe just even for the pain to stop.

She lets out another sound rattling choke before she passes out once more.

 **...**

Her face hurt.

The needle pulled at her skin and the movement of the thread burned her open wound.

She didn't deign it necessary to talk to, or even look at Yoshimura as he stitched up the gashes in her face. She just stared at the blank wall in front of her and felt a tear fall down her face.

Everything was silent, Okaa-san was gone and Uta had tried to kill her.

The saltwater of her tears only aggravated her wounds further.

 **...**

"You tried to kill me." She said coldly from the shadows of the room, her back leaning against the wall as Uta dug into the pack of human meat Yoshimura had given them.

"And you tried to kill me." Uta replied in between ravenous bites, not deigning it necessary to look at her. "Quid pro quo."

"You tried to kill me!" Kazuko screeched marching out of the shadows and slamming her hands on the table and whimpering in pain as the sudden movement stretched the numerous stitches in her face.

There was a total of fifteen stitches in her porcelain face, five on each deep claw mark that decorated the right side of her face. In jagged, parallel lines, the top claw mark stretched from the outmost corner of her right eye to the edge of her nose, while the bottom once reached across her face to the corner of her mouth.

They would scar.

She would be never be called beautiful by society again.

Perhaps that was one reason why he did it, so that every time she would look in the mirror, she would see a reminder of him within her reflection.

His human.

His Kazuko.

"Yes, I did." Uta said calmly, rising from his seat with a sigh. "Congratulations Kazuko, would you like a medal for your astuteness?"

Kazuko merely glared at the arrangement of flowers on the table, carefully plucking pink begonias from the collection while she thought of a reply.

"Oh, Kazuko, you're welcome to leave if you wish." Uta mocked lightly, stepping close to her and leaning down with a bloodstained smirk as she continued to face away from him. "What's stopping you?"

"Tell me Uta, are you going to kill me?" She asked, feeling his cold breath travelling along the sensitive skin of her face and not daring to turn around and face him.

He was silent for a moment.

"No." He stated eventually. "I think you've learnt your lesson. Don't avoid the question Kazuko, why don't you just leave?"

"Because you know that if I leave, I will definitely die. There is no question about it. I've depended on you too much for too long and it will be my downfall. If vengeful ghouls aren't my end, then nothing but starvation and disease awaits me back in the slums." Kazuko said flatly, turning towards him, meeting his black and red eyes with a scowl. "I can't live with you, and yet I cannot live without you. What do you think about that Uta?"

She spat out his name like it was poison.

His pale hand only touched his bare neck as Uta stood upright once more, staring down at her with a soft smirk. Instead of replying, he only hummed thoughtfully, running his black nailed fingers, across the stitches in her face.

If she was sane, Kazuko would probably be scared. She would probably run and scream and cry until her dark eyes went red. Alas, the fact remains that Saitō Kazuko was never really sane.

She had her Okaa-san to thank for that.

Still; the burning pain in her face caused her eyes to water as Uta held his thumb against the stitches in her face in his blood stained hand.

"Let's make something clear Kazuko." He sighed calmly. Looking down at her with an odd look of seriousness painted across his face. "You are not a princess, I am not a dragon, and the CCG isn't going to ride in here on big white horses to save you, and killing me isn't going to help anyone. Not even you."

Kazuko only stared back at him, with wide, watery eyes, her breaths coming out short and shallow as her entire face burned under his light pressure.

"I thought you were brave Kazuko," Uta said softly, running the pads of his fingers once more down the bumpy lines carved into her face.

She caught his wrist, her hand moving with the speed of a coiled viper as she tilted her head towards him. Despite the tears leaking down her face, her eyes were cold and unfeeling. No emotion in the deep swirls of sky blue.

As it's been stated before, Kazuko wasn't particularly sane.

"Don't touch me." She spat out, shoving his hand away from her.

Uta only continued to smile.

 **...**

She wandered out after their confrontation, and Uta let her because right now he was more concerned with feeding himself then watching over her.

Besides, she would be back.

He just knew these things.

Shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket, Kazuko shuffles through the alleyways of the fourth ward, glaring hatefully at the gravel floor and muttering her frustrations into the cold night air.

She didn't see the man until she ran straight into him.

Bouncing back from him, Kazuko winced and placed a cool hand over the burning stitches.

"Sorry." She muttered, not even glancing up as she went to move around the man. "Excuse me."

"Kazuko?" A low voice questioned, coloured with deep confusion. "Kazuko, is that you?"

 _There's only one of her Okaa-san's estates that Kazuko isn't allowed to go in._

 _"Just one of my pet projects." Okaa-san told her in one of her rare moment of sobriety, patting her cheek condescendingly. "I'm helping one of my friends with their dream, that's all."_

 _She's seen it from a distance as Okaa-san talked with her 'friend' in question, taken in the sprawling estate and large garden joined to it, felt the warning squeeze of Okaa-san's gold covered hand as she took a step forward to look at it closer._

 _When she's eight, breaking the hearts of her family's maids with big blue eyes and chubby cheeks, she's taken into the state for the first time. Folding her arms in her lap, Kazuko sat still as a porcelain statue and stared at her empty plate blankly, only half listening to the adults talking around her with fake smiles and polished jewellery._

 _She's eight, small with pale skint that would make a porcelain doll jealous. She's eight, fragile and no strength behind her easily breakable arms. She's eight, dressed in an expensive soft grey dress and with a circle of real diamonds around her wrist. She's only young, only eight, and no one notices when she slips from the table and walks out of the large banquet hall._

 _She wandered the halls until she found the doors into the sprawling garden that she had spotted when she first saw the estate. Gently pushing open the glass doors to the outside, she steps through, admiring the large bushes of different flowers._

 _Everything from roses to lilies covered the garden, the low trickle of running water reaching her ears as she explored deeper into the garden, taking in the sunflowers taller than her and the patches a daisies in the grass._

 _"You're not meant to be out here." A voice interrupts her awe, causing her to gasp lowly in shock, spinning around to face the direction the voice was coming from. "The house has guests in it, their not meant to see us just yet."_

 _"I-I'm sorry..." She stuttered out bringing her hands to her chest and bowing her her head slightly. "I didn't know I wasn't supposed to be out here, but I got bored at the dinner and-"_

 _"The dinner?" The boy asked, gaping at her, and stepping back, taking in her dress, bracelet and skin. "You're not like us." The boy realised, his eyes widening as he takes her in._

 _Kazuko was silent, running her hands down her expensive dress and staring back at the boy in confusion._

 _"You're flowers are pretty." She stated quietly, tucking a long strand of ink black hair behind her ear, her sky blue eyes flickering to to the patch of flowers next to her. "I only wanted to look at them. I didn't mean any offence."_

 _"I-it's okay..." The boy trailed off, staring at her in shock. "I should go."_

 _"You don't have to go." Kazuko hurriedly said, her head snapping up to stare back at him. "You're not disturbing me, and this garden is big enough for two, I'm certain."_

 _'It's nice to have someone to talk to that doesn't shout at me' is what Kazuko doesn't say._

 _The boy sighed, glancing between the estate behind them and her._

 _"What's you're name?" She asked, stepping forward to look at him properly in the low light of the garden. "I'm Saitō Kazuko, my Okaa-san-"_

 _"You're Okaa-san is one of the sponsors for this entire thing." The boy responded. "I know."_

 _"Well then, what's your name?"_

 _The boy frowned, brushing his dark hair away from his glasses and taking in a deep breath, his face falling into a more neutral expression as he answered._

 _"Kishō Arima."_

 _There's another dinner at the estate every few months and, for three years, Kazuko slips out and walks around the garden until Arima finds her._

 _She grows increasingly confident and Arima dangerously apathetic._

 _One day, when Kazuko was beginning to rise from her seat, her Okaa-san grabbed her shoulder in a deadly tight grip and stared at her over the rim of her crystal champagne glass._

 _"And where do you think you're going?" She hissed lowly, forcing Kazuko back into her seat._

 _Kazuko didn't reply turning back to stare at her plate quietly, knowing that saying anything will go badly for her whether she told the truth or not._

Kazuko's eyes widened, her head snapping up to face the white haired man.

She knew that she'd heard that name somewhere before.

The man's face was apathetic, but his eyes flickered with concern as he saw the lines carved into her face, closed with crude stitches.

Kishō Arima was the name of the boy in the garden, a whole lifetime ago when she was still with her Okaa-san.

Kishō Arima was the name of the ghoul investigator that killed Yomo's sister.

"I need to go." Kazuko muttered, curling into her jacket and quickly turning to walk away only for him to grab ahold of her arm.

"Kazuko, what happened to you?"

"It ain't none of your business." She scoffed, her adopted fourth ward dialect coming through as she ripped her arm away from him. Steel entering her bones as she stared back at him.

She was so done with this whole thing.

She'd been kidnapped by a ghoul, nearly been killed at least three times, and now her face was covered in stitches.

She didn't have the time to deal with this.

( _Okaa-san? Okaa-san, where have you gone?_ )

"What are you doing here Kazuko?" Arima reiterates, his grey eyes matching her blue ones in quiet intensity.

"Let me go." She hisses through clenched teeth, the burning sensation spreading through her face and down her neck.

"Kazuko, I will drag you back to your Okaa-san myself if you do not-"

Images flashed before Kazuko's eyes, her Okaa-san's broken glass table lying smashed around, shards cutting into her skin and her ears ringing. Her Okaa-san's gold jewellery yet the fact that her heart was made of stone. Patches of white roses dripping with blood as she'd ripped her hand trying to get out of the rose bush her Okaa-san had pushed her into.

"No! Please!" She quickly interrupted, panic and desperation. "Please, do not take me back there."

"Kazuko-"

"Arima! Arima, please!"

He faltered for a moment, glancing from her desperate eyes to the stitches in her face.

"Fine." He begrudgingly accepted, finally letting go of her arm and placing his hand in his white coat pocket, handing her the small card retrieved from it. "Call me on this when you do you want to talk Kazuko."

"Thank you." She breathes out, taking the paper.

"What happened Kazuko?" Arima sighed, looking at her through his thin rimmed glasses and examining the stitches in her face.

"What happened to you?" Kazuko asked, quickly switching the subject while Arima still looked unimpressed. "Is you're hair turning white? Kami, Arima, where not that old just yet."

Something flickered in his eyes as he hummed in acknowledgment, disappearing before she could fully understand what it was.

 _Interesting_ , a voice hums quietly in her head.

She didn't think about the fact that it sounded like Uta.

Because it didn't mean anything.

The buzzing static of an intercom interrupts the silence surrounding, a fast paced voice blurting out a few codes before the silence returned.

"I need to go." Arima stared stiffly, his tall stature becoming even more obvious as he straightened. "We'll talk more another time Kazuko."

"Don't tell Okaa-san."

He hesitated, picking up the suitcase next to his feet and stratening his back, calling back to her as he set off: "I won't."

Roughly shoving the card in her pocket, Kazuko huffed, staring at the dark sky above her head.

She didn't believe him.

Not for one second.

 **...**

Eventually, she slips back into their space, walks into the kitchen and finds Uta sat there with a blood red apple in his hands, his black sclera and static red pupils watching her calmly as she stepped into the small kitchen.

"I thought you would be hungry." He said, offering her the blood red fruit.

His eyes seemed to glow in the low light of the windowless room, but Kazuko can faintly make out the dark designs that were carefully sketched onto the page of an old notebook. Turning back to the apple, she regards it for a moment, thinking.

For a flickering, poetic moment, Kazuko thinks about Eden. Thinks about the Tree of Knowledge and the demon that lounged within it. She thinks of Eve and the duality of ignorance. She thinks about the stitches in her face, blood, gold, and all that she knows to be a lie.

For a flickering, terrified moment, Kazuko thinks about turning on the heel of her foot and running away from the demon lounging calmly before her. Running to Arima and telling him to take her back to her Okaa-san, jail, anywhere that was not here with Uta.

But only for a moment.

Because if she runs, then he will catch her.

 _Be brave Kazuko_ , the darkness that sounds like Uta whispers around her, _be_ _brave, but not stupid._

But only for a moment.

Instead, she takes the blood red offering in her hand and takes a bite.

It tastes like sin.


	7. Part I: Begonia

**AN: Wow! We are now at 60 follows everybody! *claps excitedly* Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited, or followed. Thank you so much! This chapter is so short but oh well... The cliffhanger gods demand a sacrifice *sighs* Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

* * *

 **Begonia**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Beware**

* * *

The thick white, bumpy lines in her face shone oddly as Kazuko admired them in the bathroom mirror.

Taking the stitches out was a blood-stained occurrence that Kazuko didn't care to repeat. The tiny scissors had pulled at her porcelain pale skin and the bloody stitches being pulled from her face had made her want to gag.

Uta had laughed at her from where he stood cleaning out the downstairs area and moving furniture.

Stepping down as leader of the fourth ward, and passing it to some start-up but bloodthirsty ghoul that Kazuko hadn't bothered to learn the name of, had left Uta with a lot more free time on his hands so he decided, much to Kazuko's confusion, that he was going to open a mask shop for both ghouls and humans where the old fourth ward headquarters was.

Namely, below their apartment.

Kazuko didn't know what had compelled her to agree to this.

"Kazuko," Uta breathed out slowly from the doorway, undeterred by her intense stare into the mirror. "I could not deny you anything."

The statement was completely unprovoked, and Kazuko startled slightly, the stained red water splashing on the floor as she jumped at the sudden break of silence. Several of the bloody stitches resting on the side of the sink had tumbled to the floor because of the sudden movement.

She could see his reflection in the mirror. The ghoul leaned against the doorway to the bathroom, his washed-out hair as black as Kazuko's own ink strands instead of the blond she had become used to, and a single notebook and a pencil in hand. With the way, the notebook is tilted, Kazuko can see the swirling black design and foreign lettering spread across it's pages.

"My, my… Uta…" Kazuko drawled out, her eyes moving to stare back at him through the reflection in the mirror. "Just when I'd thought you had gotten boring. What with this whole, stepping down thing..."

The ghoul only scoffed at that, turning his red eyes back to the notebook in his hand.

Laughing lightly, Kazuko turned back to her reflection, lightly pressing the cool pads of her fingertips against the white scars once more.

 **...**

It came without warning.

Kazuki is gently cleaning the new glass cabinets when Uta strides into the large downstairs space. His blacked out glasses resting on the top of his head as he shrugged on a simple jacket.

"And where do you think you're going?" She called after him, standing on her tiptoes to look at him over the glass.

Holding up his notebook, Uta opened up the entryway and called his answer to her from over his shoulder.

"You'll see when I get back." He started, closing the door behind him.

Rolling her eyes and sighing, Kazuko returned to wiping the glass.

That was two hours ago.

Kazuko is outside of the shop, tending to the new flower beds when it happens.

Clucking her tongue in annoyance, the human female frowned at the state of her flowers, noting the upturned stems and rotting leaves.

A bad omen if she had ever saw one.

"Excuse me, miss?"

Turning to face the new voice, Kazuko felt her frown deepen as she took in the dark coat and leather briefcase.

"Can I help you, officer?" She asked, quickly glancing around to see if there was anyone else in the immediate vicinity.

However, the small courtyard was empty except for them.

"Yes, you can actually." The officer nodded, reaching into his dark jacket pocket to take out a note, his brown eyes quickly running over the words before turning back to Kazuko. "Are you Saitō Kazuko by any chance?"

Slowly standing to her full height, the human once more glanced from the officer to the area around them.

"Why don't we head inside?" She asked sweetly, opening the door and gesturing for the male to step inside. "I'll be happy to help you with whatever you need me for."

Uta was not going to like this when she told him.

She guided the man through the new shop area and into the side area, gesturing for him to sit down.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" She asked, though her blue eyes never left the leather briefcase that rested at the man's side.

"No thank you, Saitō-san." The officer waved off. "I'm here on business."

Uta was definitely not going to like this.

"Oh," Kazuko breathed out, ripping her eyes away from the suitcase to watch the human. "And what business might that be?"

"Do you live alone, Saitō-san?" The Officer asked, glancing around him.

"No, I don't."

"What is your relationship with this other party?"

"Is there a purpose for this interrogation?" Kazuko said sharply, blue eyes burning holes into the other man.

"Saitō-san." The officer said slowly as if he was talking to a child, making Kazuko narrow her eyes. "You're Okaa-san has sent me-"

"Get out of my house." Kazuko snapped jumping to her feet and glaring fully at the male now. "How did you even find me?"

"We received an anonymous tip." The officer stated, holing up his hands to placate her. "Saitō-san, I really must stress-"

Arima, you traitor.

"Get out." She repeated, turning her back to the human male. "Tell Okaa-san that she can eat and choke on those rose petals she covets so much."

Walking out of the sitting area, Kazuko stopped suddenly when the officer grabbed her arm in the middle of the shop.

"Let me go."

"Saitō-san-"

"I said, let me go!"

He only tightened his grip on her arm.

"Saitō-san, we have been paid quite a lot of money to have you safely returned to Saitō-sama, so I must suggest that you come with me quickly and quiet-"

She didn't know what made her do it.

Whether it was the ringing in her ears, her panic, her fear, or the writhing darkness around her that whispered in her ears and sounded suspiciously like Uta.

She slammed her foot on top of his own, using his surprise to rip her arm out of his grip and lunge at him. He's too surprised to push her back, not even when she has her fingers knuckle deep into his jugular, snapping her now bloody hand back, Kazuko reached out and shoved him to the tiled floor watching as he squirmed and tried to pick himself up from the floor. Staring at her in shock.

Stumbling back, Kazuko felt her back slam into the desk, her bright blue eyes wide. Breathing heavily, trying to get as much air into her lungs as possible, Kazuko sank to the tiled checkered floor and watched.

Kazuko sat there, shaking violently, with blood splattering her face and a man's life in her hands. She sat there and watched as he struggled for breath, blood pooling out from his neck and onto the floor. She sat there, with a man's life in her hands and did absolutely nothing.

Instead, Kazuko got up with trembling legs and took several unsteady steps to Uta's desk chair and sat down, placing her head in her hands. Instead, she sat down and listened to the darkness that sounded like Uta as it purred put its soft praise and pride.

 _Good girl..._

Taking a deep breath, Kazuko watched the man across the room breath his last and waited for Uta to come back.

She supposed that she should feel guilty, remorse, empathy or maybe even panic, but she didn't. The only thing she felt was numb and maybe even slightly victorious.

Kazuko knows that she shouldn't think like that, she knew that normal people would be screaming in horror is they were in her position.

But she wasn't.

Why?

The darkness that sounded like Uta only patted her head and told her not to worry about it.

So she didn't.

 **...**

Uta stopped in the newly refurbished doorway when he walked back in. Taking off his sunglasses, Kazuko watched as his ruby red eyes remained fixated on the dead body and the pool of blood surrounding it. Taking a deep breath in his eyes moved from the body to Kazuko, landing on the dried blood that coated her fingernails and the still slightly damp droplets that were splattered along her face and neck.

Something strange flickered in his eyes as he carefully set down the bag and closed the door behind him. Several muscles rippling in his arm as he took in the dramatic scene before him. Scanning him carefully, Kazuko noted the dark design that could be slightly seen through his thin white shirt and the several more piercing in his ears.

So that's why he had been gone for so long.

It was Kazuko that eventually broke the tense silence that surrounded them.

"Oh, don't look so worried," Kazuko stated, rolling her darkened blue eyes and resting her chin on the back of her bloodstained hand. "Isn't this what you always wanted? My mind breaking under the weight of your hands?"

"How do I know that you won't kill me, just like you did him?" Uta asked, his voice monotone and bored as always, but Kazuko had long stopped relying on his voice to convey any form of emotion. His form, however, had stiffened, his hackles rose and veins pulsed once under his newly tattooed arms and he clenched and unclenched his hands.

He was preparing for a fight, preparing to rip out her throat if needs be. Which meant…

Kazuko felt the smirk stretch against her lips.

He was scared of her.

No, scared might not be the right word, but he feared her enough to think she could portray a threat in battle.

It was the greatest compliment he had ever given her.

Kazuko couldn't help it, she laughed.

Her head threw back, sharp and morbid laughter filling the dark room. The scars on her face glistened in the low light as she began to laugh harder, collapsing into her chair and tilting her head slightly.

 _(I don't find you that interesting, she had said once)_

"I don't want to kill you anymore, Uta." She grinned, gracefully standing up and walking over to the dead body, kicking it slightly as she stepped over it to stand in front of the ghoul. "Not now that I finally find you interesting."

 _(You will, he had replied)_

Uta looked down at her carefully before an identical grin slowly spread upon his face. His black nailed hand reached up, long fingers trailing along the scarred cracks in her face, dangerous red meeting brilliant blue.

"Good girl..." He muttered, resting his hand on her face gently. "Go upstairs, I'll deal with the mess. Don't worry about it anymore darling."

Some part of her, though a very small one, wanted to scream and thrash and tell him to get off of her. To let her go home and to not talk to her like that.

 _Be brave Kazuko,_ the darkness whispered, _be brave, but don't be stupid._

So, she turns on her heel and does what he asks.

Because what else is she meant to do?

A small part of her wants to cry.

The larger part of her and the darkness both tell it to _shut up._

 **...**

Kazuko stared at her reflection in the vanity mirror, taking in the white scars that spread across her face and the red stains that still hadn't fully come out of her nails.

The door creaked as the bedroom door opened, Uta steeping into the room and shaking out his hands to rid them of the water.

"Well, you certainly did a number on him." He muttered, his ever-present kakugan meeting her ice blue eyes in the reflection of the mirror. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, resting his head on top of hers as she continued to pick the blood out of her nails. "You alright, Kazuko?"

"Fine." Kazuko shrugged leaning back into his chest and tracing the permanent black ink that had found it's home on his upper arm. "I've been through worse."

Humming slightly, Uta's hold on her only tightened slightly, his nose pressed into her hair.

"Uta." Kazuko sighed, quietly shaking her head at him with a small laugh. "I'm fine."

Nodding in reluctant acceptance, Uta let her go turning to walk to the other side of the room as Kazuko picked up her hairbrush.

"One week ago," she began, running the comb through her short black hair that shone with hints of the darkest brown in the low light of the room. She remembered a time when her pale face was shallow and her hair was permanently greasy but not anymore. Not now. Not with Uta. "You told me that anything I desired, I could have."

Uta turned towards her and met the reflection of her eyes in the mirror and tilted his head silently, his permanently blood-red eyes meeting her blue ones.

"I want my Okaa-san gone." She states, her voice steady and as cold as a stone as she calmly put the comb down on the small vanity, her eyes never once leaving his. "I want her dead at my feet so I don't wake up at night worried that she is going to drag me back. I want to dig my nails into her flesh and look her in the eyes so I can see the delicious sight of her despair when she realises it is me that is her downfall."

"A name would be helpful," Uta stated calmly, the deep dulcet of his voice echoing slightly around the room.

"Saitō Kamina." Kazuko supplied, turning in the stool to fully face Uta as he blinked in confusion.

"The millionaire owner of the biggest florist company in Japan?" He asked, turning to examine her fully. "And her only child ran away to live in the slums?"

"Please Uta, do not deny me this."

Uta closed his blood-red and pitch-black eyes, exhaling slowly as he fell back into the covers of the bed. Deny her? No. Not now. Especially not now. Uta could not deny her anything.

He nodded, turning his head and taking in Kazuko's dark hair and the deep scars that marred her face.

No, not with his mark carved into her face, Uta could not deny her anything. The stars, the moon, even if she wanted the whole of Tokyo at her feet he would've found a way for it to be a reality.

If Kazuko wanted Saitō Kamina dead, then who was he to deny her of anything?


	8. Part I: Pear Blossom

**AN: * _laughs_ * Welcome to mentally unstable town. Population? Uta and Kazuko. This chapter however, focuses on a different man Kazuko is overdue to have a chat too. Hint for next chapter, just for the fun of it: _DesertBlueOasis_ is on the right lines for what Uta is up to. Enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review!**

* * *

 **Pear Blossom**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Lasting Friendship**

* * *

She's a flurry of rage as she storms into the CCG headquarters, marching up to the front desk and waiting in front of it, seething with anger.

"I need to speak to Kishō Arima." She told the receptionist, forcing out the words through gritted teeth. "Please."

"Do you have an appointment?" The receptionist asked timidly but still politely, her painted nails already tapping onto the keyboard.

"No." Kazuko huffed, resting her elbow on the desk, her light blue eyes peircing into the receptionist. "But he'll see me."

"I'm afraid-"

"Call him." Kazuko snapped lightly, her unmistakable fury seeping through her words. "Call him and tell him that Saitō Kazuko wishes to speak to him."

With a small glare of her own, the receptionist picks up the buildings phone and taps in a few numbers, an audible click being heard as it connects.

"Kishō-san." The female greets politely, never taking her eyes of Kazuko. "There's a Saitō Kazuko here demanding to see you. I- yes, she said her name was Saitō Kazuko..." The receptionist paused for a moment, listening to the deep voice on the other end of the line. "I- yes of course Kishō-san, I'll send her up to you right now."

The receptionist put the phone down a little too roughly, clearing her throat before speaking to Kazuko again.

"Please take the elevator to the twenty fourth floor, Kishō Arima-san will meet you there and take you to his office."

"Thank you very much." Kazuko stated, throwing a sickly sweet smile to the receptionist over her shoulder as she approached the elevator.

Nodding at the large man in the business suit that stepped in the silver elevator with her, Kazuko ignored the way he stared at the scars in her face, pressing the button for the twenty fourth floor.

The elevator rose quickly, the business man stepping off slightly before her and casting her a curious look as he walked down the hallway, the metal doors sliding shut behind him.

By the time she reached the twenty fourth floor, Kazuko was fuming once more.

"Who, in the name of all that is holy, do you think you are?" She practically shouted at Arima, marching off the elevator and pointing a finger at the taller man, placing her other hand on her hip.

"Hello Kazuko, how are you today?" Arima started, as if Kazuko hadn't just screamed in his face in the middle of an office hallway.

"I'd be better if I didn't need to take a train to the first ward just to argue with you Arima." Kazuko spat, stomping after Arima as he gracefully walked her into his office, shutting the glass door behind her. "I thought we were friends once Arima, how could you do that to me?"

"We are still friends Kazuko." Arima sighed, a hand adjusting his glasses as he spoke.

"You told Okaa-san's private investigators were to find me." Kazuko stated, her voice rising several octaves as she waved her hands in the air in frustration. "Anonymous tip? Yeah, right! Did you really think I wouldn't put the pieces together? I'm a lot of things Arima, but an idiot is not-"

"What happened to your face Kazuko?" Arima interrupted, his grey eyes fixed to the white scars that spread across the side of her face.

"What?" Kazuko spluttered, for once looking lost for words. "What does that have to do with-"

"Kazuko, what happened to your face?" He pressed further, leaning forward to rest his forearms on the desk while Kazuko fell into the chair opposite it.

"An accident." She lied, her striking blue eyes narrowed at Arima. "That's all."

Arima only hummed, his eyes landing on some papers on his desk and organising them as he spoke.

"I hear the private investigator assigned to your disappearance was found mutilated by ghouls in an alley." He stated, glancing up at Kazuko before returning to the paperwork in front of him. "I'm guessing your the last person who saw him, what happened?"

"Good for him." Kazuko said flatly, no emotion crossing her face at the news. "I told him to get out, and when he didn't I threw him out and locked the door behind him. What happened to him afterwards is none of my concern."

Arima hummed again, scrawling something in his notepad.

"Arima, I know it was a long time ago, but did our friendship really mean so little to you?"

Arima's eyes met hers at that, some emotion Kazuko couldn't name swimming in his eyes before he looked down again.

"Are we not still friends?" He asked, signing something at the bottom of the page.

"You betrayed me by telling Okaa-san's private army of my location, even when I specifically asked you not to."

"Kazuko, you have three scars that look like ghoul claw marks carved into your face. Right now, I think it's safer for you to move back to the twenty first ward and with your Okaa-san."

"Oh, please." Kazuko huffed. "Okaa-san is nothing more than a narcissistic billionaire who spends too much time at the bottom of the bottle. And she's meant to protect me? I ran away for a reason Arima."

"It's because of our friendship that I'm taking you back Kazuko." Arima said flatly, putting down his pen a little too hard. "If you don't want to stay with her, then I'll put you up in an apartment in the first ward. Or are you really that desperate to stay in the fourth?"

"I'm really that desperate."

"Kazuko-"

"Kishō Arima-san." A sudden voice spoke up, the office door swinging open to reveal a panting ghoul investigator. "We've received a report of a death from a ghoul attack in the twenty first ward."

"And why does this need to be reported to me?" Arima asked, his eyes darkening in annoyance having been interrupted.

"The-the casualty... it's someone you made a note to keep an eye on." The investigator took a deep breath before continuing. "It's Saitō Kamina."

It took every piece of twisted control Kazuko had not to smirk.

Uta always did have a perfect sense of timing.

Arima's eyes slowly fell on hers, and Kazuko stared back blankly, a single eyebrow raising in a mockingly innocent fashion.

Arima continued to stare and Kazuko stared back. The investigator continuing to blabber details behind them. He was drowned out by the blood pulsing in her ears and the thrill of victory coursing in her veins.

"My condolences, Kazuko." Arima stated carefully, the investigator in the doorway shuffling his feet and looking confused. "I personally apologise for the forces incompetence in keeping such a high profile woman such as your Okaa-san safe from ghouls."

The investigator in the doorway made a small choking sound, his neck nearly breaking from the force his eyes snapped to the small, scarred woman sitting across from Arima.

"Nonsense, Arima..." Kazuko waved off, an upper class drawl replacing her more comfortable fourth ward dialect. "The CCG are doing there best to protect many citizens and are succeeding, Okaa-san is just an unfortunate sacrifice for the greater good. No?"

The investigator in the doorway bowed clumsily as Kazuko's bright blue eyes fell on him.

"Our sincere apologies Saitō-sama." He repeated, his dark eyes glancing between the two of them.

"Kazuko and I are... old friends." Arima explained, sensing the other investigators confusion. "Please let the director know I won't be available for another hour and a half. If an emergency occurs, my work phone will be turned on."

"Of course Kishō-san." The investigator nodded. "Condolences for your loss Saitō-sama."

"Thank you for your efforts Investigator." Kazuko waved him off. "Where are going Arima?"

" _We_ ," Arima stressed, standing up and holding out his hand to help Kazuko up from her chair, "are going out to talk. I do believe that's what most people do when they meet up with old friends."

 **...**

The coffee was warm in her hands when Arima passed the polystyrene cup to her, the two continuing their walk down the gravel path of the park. A group of teenagers passing them, laughing at some joke one of them was making.

"You know," Arima started, taking a sip of his own drink. "Most people aren't so calm when they find out about the death of a parent."

"I haven't seen my mother for almost eight years, Arima." Kazuko replied, her prior frustration overcome by the hum of victory she was straining to keep hidden from her face. "It's hard to miss someone you don't know."

"And here I thought you snuck away from all those fancy dinner parties just to see me." Arima said, the sides of his lips tilting up slightly at his own joke.

"You're nicer out of work." Kazuko mumbled, sipping her coffee.

"Thank you Kazuko."

"That wasn't a compliment." She muttered. "What did you really want to discuss anyway?"

"Can't I just have wanted to check up on an old friend?"

"Nothings ever that simple with you." Kazuko accused. "It never has been."

"I want to give you a job offer." Arima stated calmly.

Kazuko almost spat out her drink.

"What?" She choked out, stopping in the middle of the pathway and staring at him.

"The CCG want to promote me again because of my recent victories in many ghoul attack programs." He explained, Kazuko picking up her pace to meet his as he trailed slightly in front of her, entirely calm. "Part of this promotion means I need to employ a personal secretary to help organise meetings and paperwork."

"And you want me to be that secretary?" Kazuko deduced.

"Yes."

Kazuko just stared at him, taking a large gulp of her drink to frown the shock.

"Why not one of those fancy type writer types?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't trust them."

"And you really trust me?"

"Kazuko, I don't trust you either." Arima said, stopping and turning to face her, using his height to his advantage so he could stare down at her. "But I do know you. Better than you think."

Oh, _really?_

Kazuko really wanted to scoff.

"Call me on this number when you have you answer." He continued, handing her a fancy white piece of card with his name and work number printed on it in bold silver writing. "See you soon Kazuko."

 _Confident_.

That may just be his undoing if he wasn't careful.

He turned on his heel and walked away, not waiting for her answer.

 **...**

"And then, he had the absolute _gall_ to offer me a job as his receptionist." She ranted a handful of hours later, slamming the very same card on the bar at Helter Skelter that night. The only one out of the four of them that was actually drinking alcohol, the other three drinking aged human blood that apparently had the same affect on humans as wine.

"That's a really posh card." Itori admired, leaning over the bar and swiping up the little piece of card. "Think you can get me the name of his card maker? I've been looking for a new way to publicise this place to humans."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Kazuko waved off with a heavy sigh, slumping into Uta's side, the ghoul giving her a comforting pat as he drank his own drink.

"You're very calm Yomo." Uta commented, the groups eyes sliding to the grey haired ghoul staring down at his drink. "Is this what they taught you in the twentieth ward? Inner peace?"

"Yeah." Kazuko nodded in agreement. "I half expected you to start flipping table at the very mention of his name. Let alone the fact that I've known him for years."

"Some of us have matured into the adults we actually are now." Yomo muttered, his eyes meeting theirs as the other three gasped in shock.

"Yomo!" Itori shrieked, a hand resting on her chest in shock. "Is that anyway to talk to your friends?"

"We're mature." Kazuko defended, slightly tipsy as she hugged the alcoholic drink closer to her chest. "Look, we're drinking in a bar, fully legally, that's what mature people do."

On the other side of Kazuko, Uta was nodding along, steadying the tipsy human from falling off of the bar stool while she ranted.

"Anyway, back to the real news." Itori huffed, leaning on the bar and turning to Kazuko. "'Zuko, what are you planning on telling him?"

"Probably no." Kazuko shrugged, staring at the card that was placed back on the table. "It's not like I want to work for the CCG. You know, the people who are trying to exterminate all of you, and will probably kill me as well for being a sympathiser."

"No ones gonna hurt anyone in this room, darling." Uta assured, wrapping her into a one armed hug.

"But what if..." Itori hummed, leaning forward towards Kazuko to stage whisper dramatically. "You were our spy."

For the second time that day, Kazuko almost spat out her drink.

"What?"

"You take the job and tell us what the CCG are planning." Itori explained, sipping her drink as she spoke. "You tell us what they're planning and where they're going to target. That way, us and our allies can be prepared for an attack and not be taken by surprise."

That... that wasn't such a bad plan.

"Sounds like an alright plan to me." Uta nodded, his head tilted in thought. "Yomo, any thoughts you want to add."

"It would give us an upper hand and minimise ghoul casualties in peaceful areas." Yomo said lowly, his eyes meeting Kazuko's. "But only if you want to do it Kazuko. If you go through with this and get caught, you'll be shot for treason."

Uta's arm tightened around Kazuko at Yomo's words.

Staring at her now empty glass, Kazuko thought about it for a second before sighing deeply, meeting Itori's expectant eyes.

"Fine. I'll put my neck on the line for you lot." She huffed lightly, brushing several strands of hair away from her face. "But if I die, I'm coming to haunt all of your asses."

"Cheers to our Kazuko." Itori giggled, raising her wine glass high in the air. "Our very own double agent for the good of all ghoul kind."

"Oh, just get me another drink." Kazuko huffed, sliding her empty glass to the other female.

 **...**

There's a child in the mask shop when Kazuko returns from shopping, her head pulsing from the slight hangover made from last nights alcohol indulgence.

Uta was so lucky that he didn't have to experience such terrible things.

This isn't a strange thing, as children, especially older ones such as this, tend to wander into the mask shop often before their scared away by Kazuko's sharp words or Uta's mere presence.

More specifically, there is a ghoul child in the mask shop.

Kazuko's blue eyes flicker from the child to Uta and then to Yoshimura in quick succession. Confusion was clear on her face as she shut the office door and set down her bag, Uta resting a tattooed hand on her hip in a silent greeting as he continued to listen to Yoshimura talk.

"It'll only be for a short while." Yoshimura continued to explain to Uta, wrapping his arm around the small girl as he talked to the two of them. "Just until Yomo gets back from his scavenging, and I've sorted out business."

"Why not leave her on her own?" Uta asked, the black ink now having travelled further down his arm, noticeable as he moved his arm so Kazuko could step slightly away from and lean on the desk behind them. "She looks old enough."

"She's has been getting into fights." Yoshimura admitted, Kazuko's eyes immediately snapping back to the young girl, taking in the annoyed scowl on her face. She couldn't be older than thirteen. "It's better if she has someone to keep an eye on her."

Kazuko remembered being thirteen, remembered picking sights with her Okaa-san's staff just because she wanted to take out her frustration on someone, just so she could feel like she was in control of something in her life.

Something within her, hidden beneath the twisted darkness, softened.

"We can watch her." She stated before Uta could open his mouth to deny Yoshimura's request. "It must be lonely staying on your own, huh, sweetie? You got anything to do while you stay with us? School work? Hobbies?"

The questions and the slightly odd term of endearment was targeted towards the girl, long blue tinted hair falling into her face as she stared up at Kazuko is shock. Dark blue eyes taking in the human with the scars across her face.

Yoshimura's eyes flickered in relief, smiling warmly down at the young teenager, encouraging her to speak.

"Yeah," the girl murmured, shoving her hands into the pocket of her jacket. "I've got homework that needs to be done."

"Brilliant." Kazuko said softly, exchanging a pointed look with Uta. "I'm sure Uta and I can gather enough brain cells between us to help you. I don't know if Yoshimura-san mentioned us, but I'll make introductions anyway. I'm Kazuko, this is my partner Uta." Uta nodded in greeting. "Uta is the one that owns the mask shop. What's your name? If you don't mind me asking of course, I know some ghouls get twitchy if you want them to tell you their real name. I'm afraid I wasn't here when Yoshimura must've introduced you."

"Touka." The girl introduced herself, her dark blue eyes meeting Kazuko's lighter ones. "Kirishima Touka."


	9. Part I: Lotus

**AN:** **Ah! Ladies and Gentleman, we have reached the end of Part I! Isn't that exciting? *claps hands enthusiastically* Thank you to all those that left reviews last chapter, and those who favourited and followed. This insane story is now past 50 favourites. Thank you! Enjoy and don't forget to review!**

* * *

 **Lotus**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Rebirth**

* * *

Kirishima Touka was every bit of the angry, rash teen Kazuko thought she was when they were first introduced.

Kazuko supposed that it was meant to annoy her, the snide comments and glares about her being a, and she quoted, 'weak little human'. It didn't though, the darkness with a voice like Uta's soothed the bubbling fury.

However, while it didn't annoy Kazuko, Uta snapped back at Touka within the first hour, pushing her wrist into the table when the young ghoul had moved to touch Kazuko.

"Talk about the rest of the humans how you like, I really couldn't care less." Uta snarled at her, his tattooed had keeping Touka's flat on the table while Kazuko happily ate her sandwich next to them, completely unbothered by the red, human meat on the plates across from her. "But, if you talk to my darling Kazuko like that again, we will start having problems. Am I understood?"

Touka nodded, her eyes shifting to her plate so she didn't have to meet Uta's intimidating red ones.

"I know you're upset about what happened to your family, Touka." Uta continued, returning to his usual calm and polite self in a blink of an eye. "But don't take it out on my Kazuko."

The conversation was left at that, and Touka didn't call Kazuko any more names.

With the second hour came silence, Uta retreating into his office, Kazuko wiping down the smudged glass windows, and Touka playing music on her phone through headphones.

With the third hour came the questions.

"Where did you meet Uta?" Touka asked, Kazuko lifting her head from where she was arranging the snowdrops with the blossoms she had brought inside for the winter.

"In an alleyway, nearly six years ago." She answered truthfully, seeing no point in lying. "His opponent tried to kill me."

"Is that where you got that scar?" Touka asked further, gesturing to the notable scarred scratch marks on Kazuko's face. "From the opponent..."

"No." Kazuko smiled softly, turning back to the flowers in front of her. "Uta gave me this, couple of months ago actually."

"What's the story behind that then?"

"I'm not sure that's something I should tell a child." Kazuko laughed lightly, shrugging but not taking her eyes off of the flowers.

"So, it's like a bite mark, but Uta can't bite you cause your human." Touka nodded, then frowned slightly. "Pretty possessive, leaving it on your face..."

Kazuko choked on her own breath.

"What?" She asked, her attention ripping away from the flowers and landing on Touka. "It's like a... what?"

"A bite mark." Touka stated. "You know, a marriage thing. Where you leave a permanent scar on a loved one so other ghouls know to stay away."

Kazuko was out of her chair and crossing the room the second Touka's words left her mouth.

"Uta!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, marching towards the stairs, taking them to at a time. "Uta, where the hell are you?!"

Throwing upon his office doorway, Kazuko stormed in, slamming her hands on the desk.

"What's the real meaning behind the scar Uta?" She growled lowly, pointing to the lines in her face. "Because I swear I just heard Touka say-"

"I know." Uta interrupted calmly, putting down the stencils in his hand and facing her. "I heard."

"So; What?" Kazuko asked, choking on her own words. "We're married? Half married? Yeah, we"ve had sex once or twice Uta but that doesn't mean I want to marry you! Kami, we're not even in a relationship!"

"Kazuko-"

"Is it true?" She hissed, leaning closer to Uta, her eyes dark with fury. "Don't lie to me anymore Uta. Is it true?"

"Kazuko-"

"Answer the question!" Kazuko exclaimed, slamming her hands down on the desk with more force than before, several lead pencils falling to the floor.

Uta took in a deep breath, meeting her eyes before answering.

"It's true." He stated. "In the eyes of ghoul culture, we're as married as a ghoul and a human could be."

Something inside Kazuko, all her carefully built glass walls and fortresses, came crashing down as the reality of her situation hit her full force for the first time in almost eight years.

W-what am I doing?

Two sides of her were fighting, screaming at her through the empty caverns of her mind. Both of them coming back with a vengeance

 _ **Be brave Kazuko, be brave but don't be stupid.**_

 _Let me out! Let me go! I just want to go home..._

 _ **Brave, but not stupid.**_

 _Please, I just want to leave!_

 _ **Brave, but not stupid.**_

 _Please!_

 _ **Be brave, darling Kazuko, but don't be stupid.**_

She felt like crying.

She was crying.

Everything, every little thing she had built her fragile, porcelain existence up upon had come crashing down like a tower of paper cards.

"Oh, darling, don't cry." Uta muttered softly, quickly standing and running his fingertips down the scars on her face. "See, darling, this is why I didn't tell you. I knew you wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm sorry Kazuko, this is my fault."

Kazuko only sobbed harder, pressing a shaking hand to her mouth as she stared in horror at something in the distance, her reflection in the office mirror that was hung up on the wall.

"I'll talk to Touka and leave you to calm down." Uta murmured into her hair, pressing her close to him. "I think Yoshimura has just arrived anyway."

Kazuko didn't react as he quietly shut the door, staring at her own eyes in the office mirror. Watching as they flickered with something she couldn't name, the tears still streaming down her face.

Slowly, she lowered the hand from her mouth, taking in a deep, shaking breath.

"Get the hell out of my head." She hissed angrily at her reflection, her voice cracking around the edges. "There's no place for you here anymore. I killed you like I killed that man."

 ** _Be brave Kazuko,_** the darkness said, running its fingertips down the side of her face. **_Be brave, but don't be stupid._**

There was nothing in her eyes anymore, no flicker of emotion, just a brilliant bright blue sky.

And that was okay, because there was nothing wrong with Kazuko.

Absolutely nothing.

Nothing at all.

And that was okay.

 **...**

The next time she see's Touka it's four weeks later in Anteiku, sat in front of a lightly steaming latte and a lemon flavoured cupcake.

For a ghoul centred cafe, they really did do nice cupcakes.

"So, is it like a marriage bite?" Touka asked, a few minutes into their light conversation.

"Yes." Kazuko laughed lightly, taking a small sip of her hot drink. "It is."

"I knew it!" Touka grinned. "Yoshimura said it wasn't, but I knew it was! I was even willing to place money on it."

Laughing slightly louder at the younger girls happiness at winning an argument. Kazuko grinned, leaning across the small table.

"Don't get cheeky." The human female said, lightly poking the younger ghouls cheek.

Touka, for the first time in Kazuko's presence, stared at her in wonder.

Maybe there was something to the whole peace between ghoul and humans thing.

Maybe, just maybe, they could co-exist.

 **...**

Her Okaa-san's final resting place is in her urn, placed in the Saitō family grave.

No gold, no riches, just ashes and mud.

Okaa-san must hate it.

"If I believed in hell." Kazuko spoke into the open, empty, air, casting a small glance at the picture frame with Saitō Kamina's elegant face placed within it. "I would tell you to rot in it. However, I don't, so I don't there's much I can do to harm you now."

Silence was her only reply, Okaa-sans softly smiling face staring back at her through the clear glass of the picture frame.

"I suppose that's fair." Kazuko continued. "Because you can't harm me anymore either."

Kneeling down, she ran her fingers over the engraving on the Saitō family grave.

"I hope you realise I sent him." She hissed at the picture. "I hope that you realise it was me that sent them. That it was me who told them how to sneak past the guards and where the spare house key was hidden because you always seemed to lose yours."

She sat up, stretching her arms and grinning up at the cloudy sky above her.

"Save yourself and kill them all." She hummed, throwing her head back and laughing. "What a loud of nonsense."

The wind whistled past her, lifting the short strands of her ink black hair to fall into her face as she continued to laugh.

 _You're making a mistake._ The wind seemed to tell her, the black roses below her feet rolling to follow the wind as if they knew that Saitō Kamina could make even black roses beautiful in a bouquet.

No, Okaa-san. She hummed her wordless answer. I'm not.

 **...**

"Good morning Kishō-san." She greeted pleasantly, Arima stopping in the doorway of his new office to stare at her. "Congratulations on your promotion."

"Please, just Arima." He waved off, standing in front of her small desk with his metal briefcase in hand. "Congratulations on your new job, Saitō-san."

"Thank you, just Kazuko for you as well. We are old friends after all." Kazuko smiled. "I went to Okaa-sans will reading like you advised."

"How was it?"

"I donated most of the money left to me." Kazuko smiled, remembering the feeling of dark satisfaction as her Okaa-sans carefully hoarded riches were donated without another thought. "Her business was left to a chairman so thankfully I don't have that to worry about."

"How nice of you." Arima nodded, a small smile playing on his face. "Do I have any important notices?"

"A meeting at three o'clock and then I think they politely requested you to be in the training room one at five o'clock to meet with the new recruits." Kazuko answered, tapping into the computer given to her to bring up the days schedule. "The rest is free to do as you please as a gift for your promotion. Though, your paperwork is expected to be signed and handed in by... two weeks from now."

"Thank you, Kazuko."

"You're welcome, Arima."

Arima knew she was hiding something.

However, Kazuko knew he was hiding something as well.

Her Okaa-sans will had mentioned the Sunlit Garden, her mysterious 'pet project' that had been far bigger and more confidential then Kazuko had expected when going through her notes.

She was just trembling with anticipation to figure out what it all meant.

When Arima's back was turned she returned to her previous tab, starting at the list of planned ghoul raids and reaching for a notepad and pen.

She wasn't just here for Arima after all, she had a job to do.

 **...**

She still hears her Okaa-san's voice sometimes, even though her ashes have long grown cold, whispering in her head. She can see her beautiful, goldlaced jewellery in the reflection in the mirror as she gently traces over the caverns imbedded into her right cheek. But only for a second, solely in her darkest moments.

" _Oh, Kazuko…_ " She whispered softly, threading her hands through Kazuko's now short hair and yanking it harshly. " _He will kill you, he will devour you whole. You are a coward to even let him have the chance._ "

Staring back at the mirror, Kazuko could see it. Could see how her hands trembled, and how the scarred lines in her face seemed to glow in the warm light of the bathroom, she could see how her blue eyes flowed with something many would call madness.

She could see her pale, thin, arm speed out in front of her, blood pooling in the dip of her palm as red stained the very edges of her vision. She could still feel the burning pain of the three gashes on her face.

"Oh, Okaa-san…" She purred, tilting her head backwards and hamming softly. "It would be beautiful, wouldn't it?"

The mirror cracked under the pressure of her hand, distorting her image into a thousand different pieces.

Uta didn't question the cracked mirror, or the blood dripping for the cut in her hand as she calmly walked into the makeshift kitchen.

Nor does she question the screaming human tied to the wooden chair, shouting at her desperately as she passed.

 **...**

The incessant ringing of the company phone was giving Kazuko a pounding headache.

"Uta!" She shouted over the noise, stopping in the middle of the staircase to shout in the direction of Uta's office. "Are you going to answer that?"

"Bit busy right now darling." Came the reply, Kazuko only silently rolling her eyes. "Can you-"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm getting it." Kazuko answered, jogging down the rest of the chairs, and picking up the work phone from its receiver, pressing it into her ear and dramatically falling into the desk chair. "Hello, HySy Art And Mask Studio. This is Kazuko speaking."

"Hello Kazuko-san," A dignified voice on the other end of the line spoke. "This is Kiyomi High School. I'm calling to talk to you about one of our first year students."

"And why exactly are you calling me?" Kazuko asked, her eyebrows lifted in confusion.

"Kazuko-san, this number labelled as the secondary emergency contact for Kirishima Touka, is that not correct?"

Kazuko had the sudden urge to bash her face into the desk.

"Yes." She said, sighing softly. "That's correct. Is something wrong?"

"Well, you see Kazuko-san, there has been an incident on school grounds..."

Thirty minutes later, Kazuko was sat outside the heads office, wondering just how this had become her life.

With sharp eyes, she watched Touka walk out of the office, school bag slung over her shoulder and a deep scowl on her face.

"What's the damage?" She asked casually, leaning back in her chair.

"They've suspended me for three days." Touka answered, glaring off into the distance.

"You alright?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Kazuko nodded, elegantly rising from the plastic hallway chair and hitting the top of Touka's head.

"What the hell was that for?" Touka asked, holding the back of her head in shock as Kazuko began to walk out of the school.

"You know what that was for." Kazuko hissed to her quietly, glancing around the abandoned hallway, dragging Touka out of the school. "Fighting with a human boy, are you an idiot? What if someone noticed that you were slightly to quick with your dodges? The fact that he couldn't seem to hurt you? What about your eyes, huh?"

Kazuko ranted quietly as the crossed the tarmac front of the school.

"Kazuko-"

"Oh, that's right. You weren't thinking!" Kazuko continued to whisper rant. Taking in a deep breath, Kazuko stopped several houses down from the school, placing her fingertips on her scars and exhaling softly. "Right." She breathed out, significantly calmer. "What'd he do?"

"He was bullying this girl." Touka answered.

"Did you beat him up in front of his friends?"

"Yeah." Touka said, a small smile appearing on her face.

"Good." Uta nodded, appearing from the alleyway with dark sunglasses on his face and a beanie, casually throwing an arm over both of their shoulders. "I would've done the same."

"Uta!" Kazuko chastised, trying to keep the smile off of her face. "We are not condoning underage violence. She needs an education, to stay in school, not to get suspended for fighting."

"I don't know why you're even saying that, darling." Uta laughed, dragging them both along into the direction of Anteiku. "Touka's doing better than both of us. You never even went to high school."

"I don't know why your even opening your mouth." She replied, letting herself be dragged along. "You didn't either."

Touka managed to break herself free from Uta's hold, now following behind the two with a small smile.

 **...**

Kazuko calmly mopped the checkered tiled floors, humming a soft song along with radio as she worked. Uta sat at his desk, carefully sketching up his plans for a new mask to be put on display.

Abruptly, the soft song disappeared into a news broadcast, the newscaster speaking in hurried tones.

"Breaking news now listeners: Two students were harmed in the twentieth ward today after a construction fault had numerous pipes falling on the two of them. One has died and the other is gravely injured, desperately needing organ transactions. In other news, the weather is expected to grow colder in the growing weeks…"

"Be careful in the twentieth ward Kazuko, the binge eater has disappeared of the radar, and no one knows where she's gone." Uta warned, his words seemingly inspired by the news broadcast, his black and red eyes narrowing at the radio before turning back to his drawing. "That just spells trouble for the rest of us."

As Uta focused on his drawing once more, Kazuko's blue eyes slid to land on the radio, shifting her feet and tilting her head, the mop still in her hands and the bucket of warm water growing cold beside her feet.

No way, it wasn't possible… It would be impossible…

Shaking her head and sighing softly, Kazuko dunked the mop into the warm soapy water, what the clear liquid grow a soft crimson red she cleared the mop from blood before returning to cleaning the tiles.

Besides, what kind of dangerous ghoul got crushed under falling pipes?

* * *

 **End Of Part I**


	10. Part II: Sempervivum

**AN: And we're back for Part II! Yes! How exciting! While Part I set up the past and how Kazuko drove herself a little bit bonkers, in part II we find ourselves in canonical ground, so more characters are going to appear *squels* how fun! Enjoy, and be nice and leave me a review :D!**

* * *

 **Sempervivum**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Domesticity**

* * *

Saitō Kazuko knows many things.

Here's five of those things.

One: Baby's breath flowers are a staple for every wedding bouquet, and no one can convince her otherwise.

Two: Glass cleans better if you dry wipe it first, and then use only a light amount of glass cleaning fluid on a clean sponge.

Three: Despite his pretences, Kishō Arima prefers tea to coffee and takes it with no sugar and just a dash of milk.

Four: Uta prefers coffee to maybe even human meat, and likes it completely black and from Anteiku. Apparently home made coffee could never compare.

Five: Human blood is a nightmare to clean from you fingernails.

Leaning against the sink, Kazuko ground her teeth as she continued to pick at her fingernails, trying to rid of the days evidence from her hands.

"Here." Uta nodded, handing her the nail brush as he held the plastic toothbrush in his mouth, meeting her eyes in the bathroom mirror. "You alright?"

Uta is still odd to her, even after all these years.

From his now ink black hair to his numerous tattoos, he is a mess of contradictions to Kazuko.

He happily stepped down from the top position in the fourth ward to make masks and sell art, yet everyone seemed to suddenly remember just how ruthless Uta was when they decided it was a good idea to threaten the small human with a ghouls mark clawed into her face.

Kazuko knows that Uta thinks that he doesn't care about her, but she's seen the tattoos across his chest and gently ran her fingers across them while he slept next to her.

There, just there, hidden in the black ink sun above his heart, so small and delicate that you wouldn't know it was there until you really looked.

A single name, hidden among the sun rays.

 _Kazuko._

Even now, Uta is still odd to her.

"Fine." Kazuko mumbled, sighing in relief as the dried red flakes finally left her nails. "Heard you went to the twentieth ward today, how was it?"

"They've been getting more trouble from Doves recently." He answered, putting away the toothbrush and crowding the bathroom sink as Kazuko continued to clean her nails. "Practically crawling the place I would say, though Yoshimura doesn't want to admit it. Peace and coexistence and all that."

"Well, tell them that I'm glad they finally had a taste of the reality for the rest of us." She huffed, finally putting the brush down and rolling her shoulders as Uta hummed.

"Oh, and there's also been an emergence of a half ghoul."

Kazuko choked.

Coughing violently, Uta only patted her shoulder softly as she choked on her own breath.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I heard you, but I'm asking you to repeat it because what you said and what my ears just heard can't be the same thing."

"There's been an emergence of an artificial half ghoul." Uta repeated slowly, his black and red eyes meeting her blue ones in stone cold seriousness.

Kazuko felt the sudden urge to pound her head against the ceramic sink in front of her.

"An artificial half ghoul?" She repeated slowly, her eyebrows kitting together as confusion painted itself across her face. "You told me half ghouls we're practically impossible."

"They are."

"Well, obviously they aren't if ones just wandering around in the twentieth ward."

"It gets better." Uta said, a sharp grin taking over his features as Kazuko grew even more confused. "Yoshimura wants us to make a mask for them. We'll be meeting them sometime in the next two weeks I think he said."

"Uta." Kazuko stated very slowly. "I should've killed you while I had the chance. It would've saved me a lot of pain in the long run."

Uta only laughed, trailing his black nailed fingers down the scars of those very nails forever imbedded in her face.

"But you didn't."

She shot him an unimpressed glare, patting the hand that still rested on her cheek before turning away from him.

"Don't make me regret it."

Something deep down inside of her whimpered.

She'd become expert in ignoring it.

 **...**

Working in the CCG is still an odd experience for Kazuko, even though she's been working there for nearly four years now.

Four years.

Four years of feeding information to the supposed enemy, four years of seeing coworkers resign or die, four years of tea with Arima every Thursday lunch.

Four, tediously long, years and she was still no closer to finding out what that garden was and why it was so important to her Okaa-san.

At this point, Kazuko was certain the only reason she hadn't quit this job was for the information and the generous pay cheque.

The pay cheque played a bigger role.

Drumming her fingertips against her wooden desk, Kazuko was dragged out of her wandering thoughts by the polite knock on the top of her desk.

"Can I help you?" She asked, tilting her head up with a raised eyebrow, her tone slightly too condescending to considered polite.

"Kazuko." The young investigator cheered in front of her, a large smile on his face. "Some of us where

Kami help her, all she wanted to do was drag out his vocal cords by reaching down his throat.

"I'm fine thank you." She waved off, turning back to her notepad. "I need to sort out these ledgers for Department Five. You know how they can get."

"Kazuko." The young human male whined, Kazuko's jaw tensing as she didn't dare to look up, knowing he had leaned closer to her face. "You never go out, don't you get tired of being holed in a desk all week?"

If she ever saw that this investigator was stationed in the fourth ward, she was going to set Uta on him.

She might just set Uta on him anyway.

Make it a challenge.

Kami, she might just kill him herself.

"Kazuko." A deeper voice spoke up, Arima emerging from the double doors opposite her desk. "Are you ready to go?"

"Where are we going?"

"It's Thursday." Arima said simply, putting on his white coat.

Tea time Thursday.

The joy.

"Of course." Kazuko nodded, inclining her head towards the shocked young investigator as she stood. "Apologies Satosei, I forgot I had a prior engagement."

"It's fine." Satosei choked out, stepping by to let them pass. His face the perfect picture of the internal battle inside his little brain, his emotions warring between shock, annoyance, and admiration.

And, well, if Satosei was unfortunately killed and eaten by No Face in an attempted raid in the fourth ward just a week later...

Well, that had absolutely nothing to do with her.

Holding the door open for her, Arima steeped out of the glass building with Kazuko following, leading them both down familiar paths in comfortable silence.

"Have you seen the news?" Arima asked her when they were several feet away from the office building.

"What about it?"

"There's been an increase in ghoul activity in the twentieth ward." He answered her question, Kazuko turning to him with a raised eyebrow.

"The twentieth ward." She repeated, her thoughts briefly flashing to the supposed mysterious half ghoul that apparently now resided there. "But it's usually so quiet, is that why all those report are coming in suddenly? The rich are panicking?" Her voice became several octaves higher as she continued mockingly. "Oh, Arima, Arima! Think of the children."

"I know for a fact that you could buy two houses in the twentieth ward with the money you're paid Kazuko." Arima joked lightly, his white hair swaying slightly in the light cool breeze. "Why do you insist on staying in the fourth ward?"

Because I cannot leave Uta, and Uta refuses to leave the fourth ward.

"Because it's home." She shrugged, lying through her teeth. "Home is where the heart is, and all that."

Arima only hummed, not buying any of the excuses she was handing out.

The conversation quickly turns to familiar territory; their everyday lives and the woes of paperwork vs the woes of field duty.

But that doesn't mean Kazuko trusts him.

Sipping on her warm tea, Kazuko analysed Arima over the rim of her cup.

What do you know Arima?

What do you know?

 **...**

"Here." Touka stated roughly, grabbing Kaneki's arm before he could open the studio doors. "Look, before we go in, there's something you should know."

"What?" Kaneki asked, taking in the rough spray paint and the climbing flowers on either side of the studios doors. Framing the old oak and contrasting the other shops in the small court.

"Don't stare at her face, it makes her uncomfortable, Uta doesn't like it when she gets uncomfortable. Plus, it's just rude."

"Why would I stare at her face?" Kaneki asked, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion.

Who was she? And why would he stare at her face to begin with?

"Just don't do it alright." Touka snapped, her patience quickly wearing thin. "You'll see what I mean." She opened the studio doors before Kaneki could question her any more. "Uta? Kazuko? You here?"

No reply.

Touka huffed, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket, "They're probably sleeping or something..."

Her observation was cut off by a loud scream, the female ghoul quickly turning around to see Uta hovering over Kaneki, an intrigued expression on his face.

"Boo." The male ghoul acknowledged, while thundering footsteps began echoing above the three as Kazuko suddenly burst out through the curtains, pointing at Uta with a frown.

"Uta." She huffed, crossing her arms and rolling her blue eyes at the ghoul. "You really do have to stop playing pranks on our guests, you could end up hurting them. Uta? Oh, for Kami-sama's sake, let the poor boy get up. He's practically a baby."

Uta only tilted his head, his eyes meeting Kazuko's across the room.

"I though I'd scare him." Standing up to his full height, Uta's red eyes flickered from Kaneki to Touka before landing back on Kazuko. "Darling, change the sign to closed."

Nodding, Kazuko swiftly changed the sign outside, locking the studio door as she closed it.

"Kaneki, this is Uta and Kazuko." Touka introduced, the slightly taller human female throwing an arm around her and pulling her into a half hug while Uta sat in his chair. "They make masks for ghouls. Well, Uta does anyway..."

"Hello." Kazuko waved, a soft smile on her face as she kept one of her arms wrapped around Touka's shoulders.

"Nice to meet you." Uta nodded at the same time as Kazuko's greeting.

Kaneki's first impression of Uta was that he had too many piercings and tattoos and was a bit intimidating, especially with the kakugan that didn't seem to turn off.

Kaneki's first impression of Kazuko was the one most people tend to have: What had happened to her face?

The jagged scars ran across one side of Kazuko's face, stretching from the outer corner of her eyes to the very edge of her mouth. They shone white in the low light of the room, one side of her face nearly a complete juxtaposition of the other.

"I'm Kaneki." The half ghoul greeted, Uta moving closer to him while Kazuko watched the two carefully. "Nice to meet you both..."

"You're the boy Yoshimura mentioned, no?" Kazuko asked, tilting her head slightly.

"You're scent is very unusual." Uta remarked flatly, leaning forward in his stool, black and red eyes wide with interest. "So, he needs a mask right?"

"Yeah." Touka answered. "We have to be cautious right now. You know anything Kazuko?"

Kazuko only hummed, leaning against the desk as she spoke: "Nobody ever tells me anything, and I only deal with the major operations, I think it's due to that binge eater though, there was a sharp increase in killings when she arrived and now she's gone..." Blue eyes slid to Kaneki's position, the half ghoul swallowing nervously. "Well, the sudden decrease has gotten their full attention."

"It is all very odd, isn't it darling?" Uta said, Kazuko only humming in agreement, her eyes never leaving Kaneki.

"Is the twentieth ward.. relatively peaceful?"

"Oh, poor baby." Kazuko cooed with a slight laugh. Her scars becoming more prominent in the light as she grinned with a humour that didn't quite reach her eyes. "You don't know how good you have it."

"You'll know if you try living someplace else." Uta expanded as he searched through his drawers. "Kazuko, where is my- thank you darling. Wards one through to four are inhabitable. The thirteenth ward is basically a blood bath. We have so many ghouls here in the fourth that there's always a turf war happening. If you're lucky, you can see some cannibalism, and that's always fun."

"The twentieth ward is more quaint. Quiet, many would argue." Kazuko clicked her tongue in detached disapproval. "Boring."

"Sit down please."

Kaneki could only stare at her in shock as he almost collapsed in the stool Uta had offered him.

Kazuko's eyes were a clear blue sky. A brilliant blue that lightened her face and softened her harsher features.

They were empty.

No matter how hard Kaneki looked, he couldn't see anything in her eyes. No emotion, not even frustration or boredom could be seen in her brilliant blue eyes.

Nothing.

Like her very soul had been carved out of her, maybe even by the hand that carved into her face.

"Don't look at Kazuko, look at me." Uta stated, his voice dropping several octaves as he became deadly serious. "Look at her like that again and there will be a real medical reason for you to wear that patch."

"Uta." Kazuko warned lightly from where she stood, handing Touka her change and frowning at the pair. "He's a baby, leave him alone."

"O-of course." Kaneki stuttered, leaning slightly away from Uta as his stare only

"Perfect." Uta grinned, his voice back to its normal levels as he continued taking the measurements. "Do you have any allergies? Rubber? Metal?"

With a small sigh, Kazuko turned out their conversation, tuning to Touka as she did so.

"A half ghoul?" She whispered softly to the fellow female. "Shouldn't the organs be rejected and start devouring him? Kami, they would be rejected if he was human because of the different chromosomes due to the fact, Oh, I don't know- the former host was a completely different gender. And, if that wasn't enough, a completely different species?"

"A modern miracle of science." Touka whispered back to her, turning to look at the masks on display.

"More than some miracle I think." Kazuko muttered, mainly to herself than in reply to Touka's statement.

Glancing back to Kaneki, Kazuko felt her frown deepen.

What's so special about you, Kaneki Ken?

Oh, Kazuko just couldn't wait to find out.


	11. Part II: Lobelia

**AN: Oh dear, I actually updated within s reasonable timescale for once. That's new. Anyway, thank you for everyone that has favourited, followed and especially reviewed since last time. You have no idea how happy it makes me. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Lobelia**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Malevolence**

* * *

Resting her head on his shoulder, Kazuko hummed lowly as she took in the object in Uta's hand, gently depositing the requested black material on his work desk.

"The half ghouls mask." Uta stated, holding the mask to the light, Kazuko's eyes moving to follow it, taking in the black leather, eyepatch, and teeth. "What do you think?"

"I'd like to see it on him." Kazuko smiled softly, leaning more into Uta as he laughed lightly.

"Careful Kazuko," Uta tutted, his black and red eyes sliding to meet hers. "Someone might think you actually have feelings, let alone maternal ones."

"Someone might think you're worried about the prospect of me having such things." Kazuko shrugged, straightening up as Uta picked up his dark sunglasses, covering his eyes as he walked out of the shop. "Are we going now?"

"Why not?" He shrugged, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jackets as Kazuko jogged after him. "We've got nothing better to do, and you need to go outside more."

"So cruel..." She sighed, spinning on the balls of her feet as thy both wandered through the twisted streets of the fourth ward, walking towards the train station. "Why are you so mean to me?"

"Kazuko, darling..." He mocked, staring at her through his sunglasses. "If I was truly mean, you wouldn't be here to tell me."

"See, mean." Kazuko pouted, linking her arm with Uta's. "Always bringing up things that are better left forgotten."

"Of course, darling." Uta said, sarcasm hiding in the octaves of his voice,

"Hey!"

"I'm agreeing with you."

"Not with that tone." She pouted. "You're making fun of me. I can tell!"

"Kazuko..." Uta sighed heavily, hiding his laughter.

"Uta!"

 **...**

"Should we come back later?" A soft voice called out, Touka immediately stepping back from Kaneki, both of them immediately turning to face the two of them standing in the doorway of Anteiku. Kazuko looking slightly unnerved while Uta just gazed at them flatly. "Though, both of you are quite young so I really feel that I must insist-"

"N-no, it's not what you think." Kaneki stuttered out, his eyes widening even further as Uta and Kazuko tilted their head simultaneously. "Wait, what are you both doing here?"

"I finished the mask, and I wanted to deliver it right away." Uta spoke up, pulling the dark glasses off of his face. "I was just going to drop it off, but since you're here, we'd like to see what it looks like on you."

Nodding, Kaneki stepped forward, accepting Uta's help as he tugged on the black leather mask for the first time.

Kazuko clapped lightly at the final look, resting her head on a knuckles as she watched confusion enter Kaneki's single visible eye. The opposite of the one that was usually visible.

"I wanted to see the eye you were hiding." Uta stated before he could ask. "One eye for one face, the other for another. Let's go Kazuko."

"You're gonna leave just like that?" Touka asked, her face pinching at the presumed rude behaviour.

"It's getting late." Uta shrugged, already half way out the door while Kazuko hadn't risen from her chair. "The trains stop regular times in about an hour, and we want to get home at a decent time."

"You know how he is." Kazuko smiled, rising up and tucking the chair back underneath the table. "You don't remain out late in the fourth ward if you want to be buried with all you appendages, even us."

Turning to Kaneki, she tilted her head.

"Well, now you can do anything you like without getting caught." Kazuko grinned. "Maybe even fight some investigators."

"I don't want to fight if it's not necessary." Kaneki said quietly, his gaze dropping to the floor.

"Demons run when a good man goes to war." Kazuko replied calmly, smiling softly at the shocked look on Kaneki's face. "I fail to see how this is any different."

"B-but..."

"Shush now." Kazuko smiled softly, patting his cheek. "Even if you never use it for its true purpose, consider it a gift from us to you. A good luck symbol."

Kaneki only nodded, waving back to Kazuko as she spun out of the door, running to catch up to Uta's retreating figure.

"Goodbye Kaneki. See you Touka."

He never was able to ask her where those scars were from...

"No maternal instincts, huh?" Uta asked innocently, not even looking at her when she caught up to him.

"Uta." Kazuko grinned sweetly.

"Yes, my darling?"

"Shut up."

"Kazuko?"

"Yes?"

"You like him too much."

Kazuko sighed, her steps falling in line with his as she linked their arms together. Her eyes searching Uta's blank face as he stared straight ahead, soft lights illuminating the darkening twentieth ward.

"He's just a child." She stated, tilting her head as she watched him. "A child that never asked to be dragged into this. Uta, he needs our help."

"He has Anteiku." Uta reminded, his black sclera eyes finally meeting hers. "He doesn't _need_ us."

"What is it that you truly want to know Uta?" Kazuko asked, her patience quickly thinning as they continued to talk around in circles.

"Why do you like him so much?" He replied, curiosity colouring his voice. "You hate those twentieth ward dwellers, Touka being the only one you don't. You say they're stuck up, privileged and can never see past their own noses. What's different?"

"Oh, Uta, can't you see?" Kazuko giggled, her blue eyes glowing with so inhumane in the low light of the twentieth ward. "Come on, I know you can..."

"You're acting like the curtains have opened for your favourite play Kazuko."

"Who knows." Kazuko grinned, her eyes sparkling with delight as Uta smiled back. "Maybe they have."

In the low light of the twentieth ward, Kazuko could've sworn she saw something flash in Uta's eyes.

But only for a moment.

The dark voice in her head hummed and told her not to worry about it.

So she didn't.

 **...**

Kazuko was expecting to see Kaneki and Touka again, presuming they would eventually return to the shop or she would see them in Anteiku while she brought Uta's highly coveted black coffee beans.

She never expected to see them in the CCG main reception just a week later.

Scanning her employee badge at the gate and passing through about to leave for a short break and to gain some information at another department, she absentmindedly surveyed the lobby taking in the two academy students sat in the visitors area adjacent to the gate as she passed through it, scowling at the terrible flower arrangement on the table.

Wait.

Kami-sama, someone was going to be strangled.

Clutching her bag with a white knuckle grip, the heels of her black office shoes clicked as she strode across the expansive reception, stopping in front of the two, presumed, school children.

Hands on her hips, the words came out with a small growl.

"What, in the name of Kami-sama, are you two doing here?" She asked leaning down at the waist and hissing lowly. "You know what? I don't want to know, because it's probably some god awful plan with good intentions. Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for you two to just be near this building?"

"Hey Kazuko." Touka only grinned up at the human female "How's work?"

"Kazuko..." Kaneki trailed off, staring back at her in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here, that's what I'm doing here." She seethed, her sharp blue yes flickering between the two. "Now, what are you both doing here?"

"But-"

"Sorry to keep you waiting." The overly cheerful voice made Kazuko twitch. "Oh, Saitō- san, do you know these two?"

"Aunt Kazuko just wanted to check up on us." Touka chirped, the quickest to recover from the sudden appearance of an outsider.

"I was convinced they'd done something wrong." Kazuko continued happily, shooting Touka a glare before turning to Ruisawa with a soft smile. "Who wouldn't when they see their niece and partner just sat in the CCG branch?"

Ruisawa's grin widened if that was even possible, while it was Touka's turn to shoot her a filthy look.

"Well, the cutest tipsters I've ever met, and related to the infamous Saitō-san, I'll be extra sure to have your information followed up."

Oh, that cunning little girl.

Realising her work here was done, Kazuko huffed, hands still on her hips.

"Well, be good kids." She sighed, walking to the reception and lowly speaking to the girl on her desk until a short exclamation caught her attention.

"Hey! You two!"

Oh no.

Quickly stating the information needed to the reception. Kazuko whirled around and hurried over to where they were standing.

"Is everything alright Mado-san?" She asked, stepping in between the two and the gaunt faced investigator. "I hope my niece wasn't causing you any trouble."

"Oh not at all, Kazuko." Kureo Mado grinned at her, something suspicious shining in his eyes. "I would just like to question them further inside."

Kazuko's eyes flickered to the gate.

Mado watched the movement with an even larger grin.

"You'll do." He stated, grabbing Kaneki by the arm and dragging him towards the gate.

The gate that was triggered by ghoul level RC proportions in the blood, the gate that would go off if Kaneki went near it.

Which was exactly what Mado was planning.

She had never liked that creep.

To be fair, he had never liked her either, always so quietly suspicious of her actions.

She lived with Uta, someone who could rip her throat out at any given moment, and Mano was still the person that creeped her out the most.

"Mado-san, I really must insist-"

"Now, now Kazuko. I just want to ask some question." Mado stated calmly, briskly walking closer to the gate as the lightly resting darkness that lay in Kazuko's head was beginning to panic. The darkness grabbing at her shoulders with renewed destination and urging her to return to Uta and abandon the two here to their own self paved fate.

Kazuko stepped back, preparing to run the second the alarm went off.

She had claimed to know them in front of two CCG employees, she would be killed for treason before she could even plea for blackmail.

Bracing her shoulders, she watched in horror as Kaneki was dragged through the gate.

Only, the alarm didn't go off.

Everyone around them oblivious to how close three people had just came to their entire lives crumbling down around them.

Letting out a shaking exhale, Kazuko hurried forward through the gate and dragged Kaneki away from Mado by his shoulders, a polite but tense smile on her face.

"Apologies Mado-san, but these two really should be getting to cram school. Thank you for your interest though."

Pulling Kaneki back through the gate and grabbing a shocked Touka's elbow as they passed her. Pulling them both out through the automatic doors and away from the CCG building. Only with a safe distance between them and the building did she let them go.

"You idiots!" She exclaimed, her previous fury returning with a renewed fashion. "That's exactly what I was talking about!"

"Sorry Kazuko." Touka gasped out, breathing heavily.

"You better be." She hissed, eyes flickering between them. "I expect better from you both. If I ever see either of you here again then I will be having very serious words with Yoshimura about letting either of you out at all. Am I understood?"

There was a short chorus of shameful agreement.

"Good." She nodded, turning on her heel. "Go home. Some of us have real jobs to be getting back to."

"Hey, Kazuko." Kaneki began nervously, the human turning back to him with a raised eyebrow. "Why do you work there exactly?"

"Has no one told you?" Kazuko grinned, leaning closer to whisper in Kaneki's ear conspiringly. "I'm the spy."

Her laughter at Kaneki's startled expression was drowned out as the automatic glass doors slid shut behind her.

 **...**

Kazuko sighed as she stared at the computer screen, running a hand over her scarred face.

Her blue eyes were beginning to ache from the glow of the computer, dusk slowly lightening the night sky that lay beyond the floor to ceiling glass panels that decorated the whole of the building. With the dusk came a soft pink glow that filled the miniature lobby that Kazuko sat in, its light reaching in and caressing Kazuko's face. Though, this large space was only a predecessor to Arima's grand oak office that lay just past the large doors across from her.

Tapping in some more words for the report Arima had asked her to type up, Kazuko's eyes dragged themselves to the clock, the human sighing softly once more when she saw only minutes had ticked past.

"Kazuko."

She looked up at the sound of her name, blinking the weariness away from her eyes.

"Hello Arima." She replied, rubbing her hand over the bridge of her nose once more.

"You look tired." He commented, coming closer to her desk. "Why are you working? So early in the morning as well? We both have the day off, in respect for the memorial later."

Yes.

The memorial of Kureo Mado who had been killed in action by the ghoul rabbit, presumably in retaliation for killing the 'Mother' ghoul just several days prior.

No matter how hard she tried Kazuko couldn't bring herself to really care, even though she'd been invited as a work colleague and a plus one with Arima.

"Just wanted to get this done." She sighed, punching in a full stop with a scowl. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to take the dawn shift seeing us they've given us the day off later." Arima nodded, adjusting his silver rimmed glasses on his head.

Nodding, Kazuko's blue eyes drifted back to the screen, a frown setting on her face.

"Arima?"

"Yes?"

"If your going to lie to me," her eyes fell flat on his face, completely void of any emotion. "Don't make it so obvious."

Arima only laughed lowly, leaning more into her desk and staring back at her, not even unnerved by the sudden switch.

"Don't be so paranoid Kazuko, you sound like your Okaa-san."

The tightening of her grip in the mouse was the only sign of her annoyance.

 **...**

Kazuko walked through the straight and orderly pavement of the first ward, her black dress noticeable under the white suite jacket.

"Those flower arrangements were terrible." She whined to Arima, her usual tea in her hands as they slipped through the crowds, catching a few eyes with there CCG issued white jackets. "I could've done a better job for free."

"I'm sure you could, Kazuko." Arima stated taking a sip of his own tea. "Being the daughter of a floristry tycoon after all."

Kazuko scowled at that.

"You know I don't like to be reminded."

"And yet..." Arima trailed off, leaving the sentence to hang in the air unfinished.

She sighed, feeling a headache beginning to form in her temples.

"You know something I don't."

"I know a lot of things you don't Kazuko, I also know that you believe you're a good liar when your really not."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"I dropped some files off at your address recently Kazuko, while I was patrolling the fourth ward." Kazuko froze, the disposable cup halfway to her lips. "You told me you lived alone."

"I don't recall ever mentioning such a thing." She denied.

"Yet, I do." Arima insisted. "Who was that man Kazuko?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Kazuko." Arima said, the warning clear in his voice. "You're my friend, you've been my friend since we where children, don't think you can lie to me."

"And yet, you are lying to me." Kazuko hissed, her temper running short. "We're not friends Arima, you are my employer and my coworker. Nothing more and nothing less."

"You've always been brilliant Kazuko." Arima stated, completely serious. "Even when we were children you were bright. What happened for you to stay in one of the worst wards just because of a man."

"I have no idea what your talking about." She continued to insist, not even blinking when he stepped closer to her. Their height difference made even more apparent as he towered over her.

"Look me in the eyes Kazuko." Arima bargained, stopping suddenly in a deserted pathway and turning to face her. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you have no idea what I'm talking about."

She looked him in the eyes, pursing her lips in annoyance.

"I have no idea what your talking about."

There was no hesitation, no quiver in her voice, and no emotion in her sky blue eyes.

Still. Silent. Fascinating the same way a cold marble statue was.

Arima hummed his grey eyes searching her blue ones for something Kazuko couldn't name.

"You've always been brilliant Kazuko, but your eyes used to have more life in them." Arima stated calmly, slowly straightening up to face straight ahead once more. "I will find out."

Kazuko's hand tightened slightly around her cup, the tension in her temples worsening by the second.

"Good luck with that one."


	12. Part II: Hibiscus

**AN: This chapter is a lot shorter then I would normally allow *sighs* I'm so sorry you had to wait so long just for this, but, you know, things happen. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Hibiscus**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Rare and Delicate** **Beauty**

* * *

She threw the half empty paper cup in the bin after Arima left her on the pathway, leaning against the metal fence with a deep scowl on her face.

The Sunrise Garden.

She still was no closer to finding out what it all meant, and four years later from when she first started to search, she was beginning to crack under the pressure.

Pressing the pads of her fingertips into the palm of her hand, Kazuko's scowl only deepened further as she pushed herself off of the gate. Trudging down the pathway, hands shoved in the pockets of her coat, Kazuko set down the familiar path to where she needed to go.

Now, Kazuko probably wasn't as smart as Arima, or Yoshimura, or maybe even Uta himself, but that didn't mean she was an idiot.

Slightly unstable? Yes. An idiot? Far from.

The darkness in her head only smiled, as if it knew something that she didn't.

She didn't like that either.

 **...**

Very few things surprise Saitō Kazuko.

(She was still her Okaa-sans blood and bone after all)

When someone very nearly tears out your eyes your world view begins to shift a few places to the left.

So, very few things surprised her anymore.

But when the butler in a fine pressed suit and a red rose in his lapel is escorted into her Okaa-sans old office by one of the manors most loyal maids, she is the closest she has ever been to surprised in quite a while.

"He demanded to see you Saitō-sama. Wouldn't leave until I let him in." The maid explained hurriedly, shuffling on her feet at the doorway of the crowded office, the butler standing perfectly still and composed next to her. Kazuko had been searching through the late Saitō Kamina's notes with a new founded fervour, holding herself up in her Okaa-san's old office and angrily reading over multiple papers for any hint of that damn Sunrise Garden. "Th-the Tsukiyama manor sent him."

Oh, Kazuko knew of the Tsukiyama's.

Kazuko knew of them through the young Uta's spiteful mutterings whenever one of those 'Tsukiyama slaves' interrupted one of his planned raids on the twentieth ward.

She knew of them when she softly rubbed Touka's bruised knuckles as she angrily ranted about the pretentious Tsukiyama heir that she had been getting into multiple fights with.

So, what did a very old and influential family of ghouls want with her?

"Thank you Saki, you can leave now." Kazuko stated calmly, dismissing the fumbling maid with a wave of her hand. "What can I do for you? I feel it may be necessary to inform you that I am not the head of Saitō family floristry, so if you're looking for that then I am afraid you are looking in the wrong place."

"You've been invited for tea by the Tsukiyama heir, Tsukiyama Shu." The ruler straight butler stated. "Are you, perhaps, fully available at this very moment?"

"A bit short notice don't you think?" Kazuko asked, gently placing the file she was holding on the mahogany desk in front of her. "Usually these things require a warning three business days in advance."

"Our sincere apologies."

"You're not sorry at all, don't lie to me." Kazuko huffed tilting her head and examining the ghoul dressed as a common human butler. "I have nothing currently presently urgent. I am, as you say, fully available at this moment."

Who knows, maybe it would be fun to finally put a name to the face.

"Marvellous." The darkness in his eyes lightening fractionally as she agreed. "I will escort you there now."

Kazuko supposed that there was never really any choice to refuse.

She had a feeling he would've dragged her their by her hair is she had shown any true signs of refusing.

 **...**

The entrance to the Tsukiyama manor was as grand and as tasteless as Kazuko thought it would be. Her blue eyes slowly wandered to the vase of red roses with a scowl.

Tasteless, her Okaa-san would've tutted with a disapproving frown. Every knows red roses went out of fashion years ago. Now, lilies? They're all the range right now.

Lightly shaking her head to rid herself of her Okaa-sans voice, the darkness that sounded like Uta muffled it with a small snark, as it it was wrapping its talons around her neck and-

She was getting off track.

Being back in the twentieth ward was never good for her.

"Saitō-san?" A small maid came up to her, smiling politely, though her brown eyes lingered on the scars on Kazuko's face. "Tsukiyama-sama is ready for you on the patio, I will escort you there."

Nodding in acknowledgment, Kazuko followed the maid into the garden area, casting one last disapproving scowl in the direction of the roses.

As the maid opened the doors to the patio, the human merely strolled past the ghoul sat on the metal garden chair and moved to stare at the large hedge decorated with roses.

Tasteless.

Tasteless.

 _Tasteless_.

The darkness filled her brain to the very top and dragged those thoughts down with them.

"They are beautiful, _non_?" A cheerful voice spoke up behind her. "The pride and joy of this very manor. That's the thing with roses, so beautiful and yet so deadly with their thorns."

"How poetic." Kazuko commented absentmindedly,

"Now, now, Saitō Kazuko, didn't Saitō Kamina ever teach you any manners?"

Kazuko only hummed, turning on her heel and sitting down across from the Tsukiyama heir.

"Kazuko-san," Tsukiyama started, dramatically startling as he saw the long scars that spread across Kazuko's face now she was fully looking at him. Her blue eyes nearly glowing in the afternoon sun. " _Mon dieu,_ what happened to your face?"

Kazuko laughed lightly, pulling out a garden chair and sitting down across from the purple haired heir.

"My lover tried to gouge my eyes out." Kazuko shrugged, leaning her arms on the metal garden table if that was a perfectly normal thing to say. Staring back at the rich heir she knew to be a ghoul with boredom in her eyes. "What happened to yours?"

It was true, the Tsukiyama heir had very thin cuts running across his face. Small, but plentiful enough in number to be seen if you payed attention.

Kazuko had a funny feeling that it had something to do with Touka.

"Nothing I can't heal from." He paused for a second, considering. "Unlike you."

Kazuko only laughed once more, calmly stirring the tea placed in front of her by the maid from earlier.

"My, aren't you a charmer?" She hummed, her empty blue eye meeting Tsukiyama's as she grinned. "Now, tell me Tsukiyama, what makes you so invested in my Okaa-san?"

"She was a marvellous florist." Tsukiyama stated, his eyes still lingering on the scars on her face. "Though her circumstances of death were suspicious."

"Quite."

"And then her long lost heir shows up at the funeral with scars on her face and not a single tear in her eyes. You must realise that nearly the whole area was frantic when you left, I remember, even though I was _la petit garçon_ at the time, my _familia_ offering their most sincerest and endless support for your Okaa-san when they heard the news."

"How lovely of them."

"It was, _oui_." Tsukiyama nodded. "Now, I was just wondering if-"

"Let's not dance around the facts that we both know to be true Tsukiyama." Kazuko interrupted, already bored of his long winded way of talking and reclining in her chair. "You are a ghoul, it is the most likely fact that I am the only human currently residing in this manor. You know I am involved with a ghoul, you know I sent that ghoul to kill my Okaa-san in nothing but spiteful revenge. However, there's something you don't know." Kazuko grinned like the cat that had just managed to grab a hold of the beautiful canary. "You have no idea exactly which ghoul I am involved with, so you brought me here to get the truth out of me and quell that burning discomfort that ignites whenever you don't know what's going on." Tsukiyama's expression steadily grew darker as she continued to talk. "Well, the thing is Tsukiyama, I'm not going to tell you."

Seconds passed before the Tsukiyama heir hissed lowly in pure rage.

"You are nothing but a boring little human Saitō Kazuko." Tsukiyama hissed in frustration, Kazuko only raising a single eyebrow in perfectly displayed disapproval as he continued. "Your scars make you a tarnished beauty, and you smell like rotting flowers and decay." Kazuko's eyebrow only rose higher as Tsukiyama's kakugan spun into her vision. "Hardly a rightful meal for someone such as _moi_. You should be quivering before me and begging for me to spare your petty little life. Yet, you sit there, all high and mightily when you are worth nothing more than the dirt you dragged yourself out of. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't rip out your throat right now."

"As I said before Tsukiyama." Kazuko shrugged calmly, her face perfectly blank as she met his revealed kakugan, no emotion swirling in her blue eyes. "My lover once tried to gouge my eyes out, do really think that I am going to be scared of you?"

"No," Tsukiyama replied, sitting back down into the garden chair across from her. "No, I suppose not."

 **...**

Kazuko was drinking wine as red as blood when she sat down on Uta's desk and inspects the mask design he was currently working on.

"I hate it." She commented brassily, scowling at the design.

"I'm very well Kazuko, thank you for asking." Uta sighed, not acknowledging her comment even as he balled up the sketch and put it to the side.

"You will never guess who I met today." She started, dramatically gesturing her left hand as she spoke, Uta still not looking up from his work.

"Tsukiyama Shu by any chance?" Uta asked, picking up a thinner pen as he added detail to the drawing.

"Now," Kazuko very nearly purred, leaning forward and resting her hand on her chin as Uta finally deigned it necessary to look up, "how did you know that?"

"I have eyes everywhere Kazuko." Uta said, already bored with her antics. His constantly activated kakugan lightly spinning with humour as she pouted. "Don't pretend you're surprised."

Kazuko hummed slightly in agreement, straightening up as she continued.

"Anyway, I don't like him." She stated flatly, Uta not looking up from his sketch as he hummed slightly in acknowledgment. "He insulted me Uta; insulted me, and then tried to threaten me! Who does that? So obviously I may or may not have had to threaten him back..."

"Play nice Kazuko." Uta warned gently, her empty blue eyes snapping to meet Uta's amused red ones. "Tsukiyama doesn't exactly realise who he's getting involved with."

"That's not my fault." Kazuko shrugged, running a hand through her short hair as she sighed, lightly resting her cheek on the rim of her glass.

"Did you have any good experiences while up there?" Uta asked, not even looking up from his sketch pad as Kazuko absentmindedly poked at his pen container. "Provoke any joyful childhood memories?"

Kazuko only gave him an extremely unimpressed look, as she took a long sip of the wine in her hand.

"I did remember one thing during my time there." Kazuko stated, meeting Uta's black and red eyes over his desk as he hummed in interest. Kazuko scoffed slightly, mumbling the answer into the rim of her wine glass, knowing Uta could hear her. "Just how much I despise red roses."

 **...**

Several days later, Kazuko was awoken by Uta abruptly sitting up in bed, the phone resting against his ear as he hummed in agreement to the person on the other end of the line.

"Kami," Kazuko grumbled, sitting up with a small glare, glancing at the clock. "I've only been asleep for half an hour, what are you doing up again?"

"Just something to do at Anteiku." Uta shrugged off. "Go back to sleep darling."

With a frown Kazuko grabbed Uta's wrist before he could leave out the bedroom door.

"Uta," she stated very slowly climbing out of the bed and staring Uta straight in the eye. "What's happened?"

"Well..."

 **...**

"Ah, you must be Uta! The ghoul that makes all of those wondrous masks, _non_?" Tsukiyama cheered excitedly, clapping his hands in amazement as Uta entered the room, handing the bag of masks to Yoshimura. Itori happily bringing out the floor plans and showing the elder ghoul.

"You must be Tsukiyama Shu." Uta replied flatly, his black and red eyes only fleetingly glancing at the heir.

"Oh? I see my fabulous reputation preced-"

"You insulted my wife." Uta interrupted, a low growl to his voice.

"Ah, I see. So your-"

"You called her scars _ugly_."

"I'm not your damn wife." Kazuko sighed, appearing in the doorway with a scowl, wearing all black, her hands shoved a a leather jacket and a deep scowl on your face. "We've been over this Uta."

"Saitō-san, we meet again." Tsukiyama grinned, understanding and elation flickering over his now full healed face.

Uta intercepted Tsukiyama's hand before he could touch Kazuko, not even looking at the purple haired heir as he shoved his hand away.

"You'll have to forgive Uta's attitude when it comes to Kazuko Tsukiyama-san." Yoshimura chuckled lowly, all three of the named individuals turning to stare at him. "They have been through a lot together."

"Been through a lot?" Kazuko scoffed lowly, her eyes darkening to the same blue as midday in winter. Itori softly patting the other female on the shoulder. "We're not the only ones that have been through a lot. Now, will someone please tell me what the hell has happened to Kaneki Ken?"


	13. Part II: Eglantine Rose

**AN: Happy Holidays! Thank you so much for over 100 follows, I never expected for this to get so popular, I promise the next chapter will be longer. :). Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Eglantine Rose**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: A Wound Yet To Heal**

* * *

"Kidnapped? I'm sorry, but did you just say that Kaneki Ken, the half ghoul that you knew would turn heads and yet you promised to protect, has been kidnapped? Because I could've sworn I just misheard you." Kazuko sneered after Yoshimura explained the plan to everybody.

Wrapping his tattooed arms around her shoulders, Uta gently tugged a growling Kazuko away from Yoshimura, muttering to her softly as Kazuko continued to stew in fury.

"Yes, I'm afraid you are not mistaken Kazuko." If it was possible, Kazuko's scowl would've deepened. "We are making a move to rescue him."

"Brilliant." Kazuko nodded, the gears turning in her head. "Where's he being held?"

"With Aogiri."

Kazuko's already pale face lost colour, the gears in her head shrieking to a sudden stop.

"Kazuko." Touka said, shooting up from her seat when horror flashed across Kazuko's face. "Kazuko, what's wrong?"

"You need to get him out of there, quickly." Kazuko stared solemnly, her empty blue eyes drilling straight into Yoshimura as she repeated the words of the report she had read earlier that very day. "At 2300 hours the eleventh ward special task force is set to storm the Aogiri Tree base with orders to shoot to kill. If they find him," Kazuko let out a small sigh, rubbing a hand across har face as she spoke. "If they find him it'll be shoot first and ask questions later."

Yoshimura's face turned grave: "Is Arima on the task force?"

Kazuko only shook her head, leaning against Uta as the ghoul rocked her slightly, resting his head on top of hers.

"The problems of the eleventh ward is below Arima's station as a special class investigator." She revealed. "He's a shiny toy they only bring out for special occasions. This isn't one of them. However, Senior Investigator Hirako is on the team, he spent the most time close up with Arima, most likely picked up a few tricks on the way." Her head snapped up, her eyes briefly flickering before they settled back into their normal empty stage. "You have to let me go with you."

"I'm afraid that isn't possible Kazuko." Yoshimura said calmly, his eyes briefly flickering to a suddenly still Uta before returning to her.

"Why not?" The human pressed, a small scowl on her lips as she gestured around the room, Uta's arm tightening around her shoulders. "So, the child and the high school student get to go but it's ridiculous to even insinuate that I could? I know the CCG's tactics and strategy, you need me there."

"Kazuko-" Yoshimura tried to placate, his eyes once more resting on Uta's frozen form while Kazuko quickly interrupted him.

"I want to go."

"'Zuko." Yomo began only to have a fierce cold blue glare directed at him before he could continue.

"You're not going." Uta stated lowly before Kazuko could raise anymore complaints. Though her eyes shot to him, Uta's stare was noticeable even behind his sunglasses. "Darling, you know I never like to deny you anything, but this is final. You're not going."

Kazuko stared back, the protests dying in her mouth as the darkness swelled in her brain and cooed lightly in her ear. Her empty blue eyes flickered to the floor, all previous emotions leaving her face as she silently stepped slightly closer to Uta, his tattooed fingers lightly tracing the scars on her face.

 _Be brave, darling, but do not be stupid._

"Now this is just fascinating." Tsukiyma commented lowly from the other side of the room, his chin perched on the palm of his hand.

"I will tear out your eyes and feed them to her." Uta deadpanned, his sunglasses lifting up to reveal his permanently active kakugan staring straight back at Tsukiyama.

The purple haired heir only smiled lightly, his gaze silently flickering from the ghoul to the human.

"What's my job?" Kazuko mumbled in defeat, darkness curling around her shoulders still continuing to murmur soft reassurance, Uta's fingertips never straying far from her scarred cheek.

"Look after the cafe with Enji." Yoshimura answered, the Devil Ape in question brightening at the prospect of company. "You've already done enough by informing us about the CCG."

Kazuko nodded, stepping out of Uta's grasp and following Enji downstairs, the sound of their conversation drifting along the hallway even after Yoshimura closed the door behind them.

"Come on Kazuko, we'll have a great time protecting the cafe." Enji's loud, jovial voice exclaimed, his small laugh echoeing across the hallway.

"Please take your arm off of me." Was Kazuko's blunt reply.

 **...**

"I'm bored." Kazuko sighed, dragging her fingertips over the newly polished surface of the counter as Enji wiped down yet another glass.

"There's no such thing." The ghoul replied cheerfully, putting down the glass he was holding onto the drying rack.

"There is and I'm experiencing it." She stated flatly, sighing heavily once more. "How are you not bored? It must be your youth, I'm too old for this nowadays."

Enji only shrugged slightly, picking up another glass to polish.

"You're not that much older than me." The ghoul said. "You can tell me a life lesson if you're that bored, old lady."

Kazuko only sent him another flat glare at the nickname, then her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Do you think I am an idiot?"

"What do you mean?" Enji questioned calmly, not looking up from the glass he was cleaning.

"An idiot, stupid, a fool, dim witted, do you think I am one?" Kazuko asked, her eyes narrowing further at the ghoul's far too casual behaviour. "There's no need for you to suddenly direct our conversation to me giving you personal information, unless..." A slight scowl appeared, and the low light of the cafe made her scars even more noticeable than usual. "Did Yoshimura set you up for this?"

Enji finally turned to face her fully, placing down the glass and turning serious.

"Yoshimura-san is worried about the nature of yours and Uta's relationship."

"Yoshimura-san needs to mind his own damn business." Kazuko mocked, her mood instantly switching as she laughed lightly, the sound as empty as her cold blue eyes. "Yoshimura already knows the nature of Uta and I's relationship, after all..." she trailed off for a breed second, fingertips tracing the long scar on her face, "who do you think patched me up?"

"That's what makes him worried." Enji said, his eyes never leaving hers as he spoke. "He says- he says that Uta has mistakenly driven you to insanity."

Her Okaa-sans pure diamond earring and sparkling gold champagne flash across her vision for the briefest of seconds.

The darkness immediately coddles her, wrapping its arms around her shoulders and hushing gently like one might quiet a fearful child.

 _It's okay my darling, it's okay now..._

"Who's to say I was ever sane beforehand?" Kazuko scoffed slightly as a silence fell over the empty cafe.

"Who's to say that Uta, whether it was on purpose or not, didn't make it worse?"

It took everything sighing Kazuko not to lunge over the quaint little wooden counter.

Something deep in her mind screeches to a halt.

Quaint.

It's all just too _quaint_.

The cafe, the coffee, even the charming little glowing streetlights outside, the quaint cobblestone streets decorated with neatly arranged green bushes that will likely become even more beautiful when winter leaves and spring finally approaches.

Kazuko doesn't belong here.

She was born in gold and diamonds, she was raised on hard concrete and bloody fingertips.

She doesn't belong here, warmth and comfort are strangers to her.

The image of a man with his jugular ripped out flashes across her vision, and she dryly swallows against the sudden need to cry.

She wants to go home.

She wants Uta to make it better again.

She just wants it all to stop.

Taking in a shuddering breath, she blinks and the moment is gone as quick as it had appeared, her previous anger returning at an alarming rate.

"I'm not stupid Enji," Kazuko sneered, and though her eyes were emotionless, Enji could still see something dark swimming around the edges. "But that doesn't mean I'm exactly sane either." She stood up abruptly, glancing around the impeccable cafe with a newfound distaste. "Thank you for the coffee, I'll make my own way back to the fourth ward."

The cold December air bites against her skin as she steps out onto the street, her hands burrowing themselves into the pockets of her leather jacket.

She's grateful for the reminder that she's still alive, despite everything.

Uta returns later that night, wrapping his tattooed arm around her waist and slowly murmuring the epic tale of Kaneki Ken's decision to not return to Anteiku.

She has every opportunity to tell him about her conversation with Enji that was done on Yoshimura's behalf.

She doesn't.

 **...**

It's late December now.

Lights make the city more alive than ever and Kazuko sighs softly into her green scarf, brushing off her boots as she steps into the CCG building, and blinking away the cold from her eyes.

It's barely seven o'clock, and her fatigue is obvious even to her as she slumbers towards the elevator.

She hates the winter.

Nothing grows, nothing changes, everything is frozen in place and she hates the lifeless aura of it all.

Even then, Arima stood in front of her desk is enough to snap her out of her fatigue.

"Don't even bother taking your coat off." Arima states, the sky only just beginning to lighten above the first ward. "We're going out."

"Aren't you meant to be in a debriefing?" She asked, adjusting her CCG issued white winter coat over her shoulders and following Arima back down to the first floor.

"This is the debriefing." Arima stated calmly, passing through the gate and leading Kazuko out of the white steel building.

"And what have I done to warrant such an action?" Kazuko asked, her eyes narrowing as Arima only hummed lowly. "Arima, what's going on?"

"I don't know." Arima admitted. "And that's what annoys me."

"What do you mean you don't know?" She said incredulously, titling her head as she stared up at the male. "What does your existential horror at not knowing something have anything to do with me?"

"Are you okay?" He asked, stopping and suddenly turning to face her as they entered a greener and more secluded area of the first ward. "These past few weeks you've been odd, odder than usual at least."

"Of course I'm okay." She replied, blinking rapidly in confusion, her vivid green scarf making her eyes an even colder blue than usual, making them appear even more emptier than usual. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Kazuko, do you even realise that you're trembling?"

"What?" Kazuko scoffed. "No I'm no-"

She cut herself off, her shaking pale hand entering her vision as she lifted it up to prove Arima wrong. It was shaking violently, as if she was deathly scared of something she couldn't even remember, or even realise she was scared of.

"Kazuko, what are you so afraid of?" Arima asked, grabbing her hand and gently pushing it back down as a Kazuko only continued to stare at it blankly, her sky blue eyes free of any emotion.

Be brave. The darkness hissed. But don't be stupid darling.

"Nothing." Kazuko said, looking straight up at Arima. "Absolutely nothing."

( _There's blood on her hands, blood on her face and blood underneath her fingernails. There's a dark look in her eyes reflected by the bathroom mirror, and she can taste metal on her tongue. A small part of her is screaming, and the darkness is failing to drown it_.)

She blinks and the moment is gone.

"The fact that you truly believe that means you've repressed your fear so deep inside that you don't even recognise it anymore."

"Don't quote Freud to me like I'm an idiot Arima." She huffed, clenching her fists just to stop that stupid shaking. "Next thing I know you'll say I'm stuck in a life stage."

"Not just yet." He replied, his breaths coming out in short wisps of condensation due to the cool air around them. "Kazuko, if you ever sincerely asked me to help you, I would."

It's as close as a true proclamation of friendship she would get with a man like Arima.

"How sweet of you." She stated flatly, a single eyebrow raising as she spoke. "Still don't really understand why we have to have this conversation."

"Just know that I would." Arima said, a small smile appearing on his face as he patted her head lightly, her shorter stature coming in handy. "Do you want a tea?"

"Yeah." Kazuko stated, watching him turn away once more with narrowed eyes. "Please."

( _There's blood on her hands, and acid rising in her throat no matter how much she swallows it down. Her sanity is in tatters and the darkness is seeping in to fill the cracks. Her hands are shaking violently and there are is emotion in her eyes when she looks in the bathroom mirror. Her scream is bloodcurdling_.)

She blinks and the memory is gone once more, dragged deep down back inside by the darkness.

 **...**

It's spring.

Finally.

Kazuko likes spring.

There's more flowers than any other time of year.

The cherry blossoms are a loving splash of pink against the city skyline as she takes the train back from the first ward, the welcoming arms of the weekend and the warming temperatures brightening the sullen mood that had overtaken her fellow passengers late last October.

She steps of at the station of the fourth ward, smiling hollowly to the ticket officer that looks as tired as she feels, the patrolling CCG officers nod politely as she passes them, her identical white coat hanging over one arm as she nodded back. She recognises them from the promotion ceremony last November, where she had stood next to Arima and tried not to let her fear of the mass number of investigators eat her alive.

They're both different then the ones from two months ago.

She tries not to think about it too much.

The passes through the oak doors of HySy, smiling briefly at how her tulips had successfully survived the winter frost and were beginning to bloom once more.

There were two human high school girls wandering around the shop when she enters, admiring a simple black face mask and muttering to themselves. Kazuko only tapped the desk two times as she passed it, Uta silently sticking out his head to nod at her as she passed, slipping into the side room and walking up the stairs to their apartment, humming a long forgotten lullaby under her breath.

It's domestic.

It's perfectly normal.

Enji and Arima's words from winter still lurk in the very back of her mind, the darkness growing frustrated as the words stubbornly refused to drown no matter how much it held them underwater.

But it's spring now.

So it doesn't matter.

The darkness in her head nods in enthusiastic agreement, pushing the words underwater once more.

It's late afternoon and slowly turning into a cool spring evening by the time their honoured guest arrives.

Kazuko had missed him, while he was out there in the big wide world being almost as mentally detached and confused as her.

But he's back now.

So it doesn't matter.

"Hello." Kazuko greets lightly, kicking out her legs from where she sat on the desk, not looking up from the folder in her hands. "Welcome to HySy Art Mask Studio. Normally we only sell masks, but I have a feeling you want a little more than that." She finally looked up, her empty blue eyes meeting the haunted grey ones of the white haired man that stood in the doorway. "Hello again Kaneki-kun. Do me a favour and change the sign to closed?"

Kaneki only smiled slightly as he stepped into the studio, flipping the sign and closing the door on his way in.

"Hello Kazuko." The half ghoul smiled back.


	14. Part II: Azalea

**AN: We are back on our usual word count! Yes! Welcome to 2020 everybody, don't gorget to leave a review ;) Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Azalea**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Take Care, Fragility, Gratitude**

* * *

"Coffee?" She offered kindly, jumping from the desk and gesturing for Kaneki to come inside, the white haired ghoul following her up the stairs and into the apartment complex above the shop.

"Thank you Kazuko." He nodded, the human only smiling lightly as she led Kaneki into the kitchen, tapping the table twice as she passed. "Uta. Uta! We have a visitor!"

"I'm well aware Kazuko!" Uta shouted back, sliding into the kitchen with dark glasses resting on his head. "Hey Kaneki, what can we do for you? Two coffees Kazuko. Please and thank you."

"What is this? Anteiku?" Kazuko scoffed, poking her head round the corner and crossing her arms. "Give a girl a minute."

Uta only waved her off, his full focus on Kaneki.

"I..." Kaneki sighed heavily, sitting down at the kitchen table. "I thought if I squashed Aogiri then I could live quietly, but after hearing it was Mr Yoshimura that created Aogiri... I don't really know who to trust. I was hoping you could help me, if you knew anything about Yomo, about Yoshimura-san. There's... so much I don't know."

"No one just wants to ask how we are these days." Kazuko sighed dramatically, placing the cup of black coffee in front of Kaneki, taking her seat next to Uta as she sat down at the table. "We don't know that much, even if we did want to help you."

"As a mask maker, I can't go around divulging my clients secrets." Uta said, blowing on his own coffee. "But you ate a special client, and we do sincerely want to help you. We don't know much about Yoshimura..."

"Though we never did like him all that much." Kazuko commented with a slight sneer.

"He came to the twentieth ward about ten years ago and opened up Anteiku and started taking care of the ghouls in the ward. But we do know a little bit about Renji."

"Well, that's an understatement." Kazuko grumbled, leaning on her hand and staring off into the distance.

"I used to run the fourth ward." Uta revealed, chuckling slightly at Kazuko's grimace. "A long time ago now, Kazuko was never a fan of it."

"You were arrogant and rude." She commented dryly, giving him a flat stare. "And always dragging me into your awful antics."

"I was strong." Uta stated with a laugh, Kaneki watching them both with interest. "No one else wanted the job so I stepped up to the plate. About half way through, I grew fascinated with a human girl in the slums." Kazuko rolled her blue eyes at this. "As my fascination grew, I grew further disillusioned with the job, and that's when Renji showed up."

"Real troublemaker." She continued. "No code, violating feeding grounds, stubborn as a mule."

"After squaring off a few times, he got me thinking..." Uta paused, leaning forward slightly. "Who was he?"

"So we befriended him." Kazuko shrugged slightly. "We didn't have anything better to do."

"But the crow wasn't the only one who turned up into the fourth ward that week." He said, taking another sip of coffee. "So did the CCG, a large clash occurred, Renji caught sight of the investigator that killed his sister, leading to a bigger clash. He'd never admit it but if it wasn't for an outside ghoul intervening, then he would've died that day. That didn't lead to an ease on the CCG's investigations on the fourth ward, but that's a story for another time."

"That ghoul..." Kaneki spoke up. "Was it...?"

"Yoshimura-san." Uta confirmed. "He took Renji under his wing and taught him a lot of things. Originally, it was just for revenge but he eventually mellowed out- even worked at Anteiku for a bit."

"We were surprised as you." Kazuko joked slightly, watching the surprise flicker across Kaneki's face. "I'm sure he can still make a good coffee if pushed."

"Do you know what the tattoo on my neck means Kaneki?" Uta asked out of the blue, tattooed hands trailing along his neck. "It's Latin."

"No," Kaneki revealed as he finished his coffee. "I can't say I do."

"I cannot live with you nor without you." Uta said softly, the soft smile vanishing from Kazuko's face as she stared down at the table.

( _I can't live with you, and yet I cannot live without you. What do you think about that Uta?_ )

"A perfect phrase for the relationship between ghouls and humans don't you think." Uta continued, though Kaneki noted the sudden lack of any expression on Kazuko's face. "What do you wish to do now?"

"I think I'll go speak with Yomo." Kaneki revealed, standing up and beginning to leave. "Thank you for your help."

"Don't worry about it." Uta waved off watching him leave, raising an almost non-existent eyebrow as Kazuko practically scrambled out of her seat a few seconds later. "'Zuko? You alright?"

"I'm gonna walk him to the train station." Kazuko said, rushing to catch up with Kaneki. "Don't worry, I'll be back in a bit."

 **...**

"Kaneki! Kaneki!"

Kaneki stopped suddenly just outside of HySy, allowing Kazuko to skid to a halt next to him.

"Kami you ghouls are fast." She hissed lowly, grabbing his arm and steering him away from the courtyard. "There's something else you wanted to ask in there, something you wouldn't dare ask in front of Uta. Go on, spit it out."

"It's just..." Kaneki trailed off, glancing back at HySy before turning to Kazuko. "There's a lot I don't know, a lot people hide from me, can I do even trust you and Uta?"

"Kaneki-kun, don't ever trust anybody." She answered, her hand still on his arm as they walked towards the direction of the train station. "That way you can never be disappointed."

"Kazuko." He sighed heavily. "That's a terrible way to live."

"It is a realistic one." She countered, a blue eyes moving to look up at him. "So, you want to know my story as well? I've never been good with insinuations."

"It'd be interesting to know how a human got dragged into all of this."

"I'm warning you, it isn't a happy one."

"Real stories rarely are."

"Alright." Kazuko cleared her throat slightly before she began. "My Okaa-sans name was Saitō Kamina," she scoffed at Kaneki's shocked look, "Yes, the floristry tycoon. She wasn't the... most maternal figure."

( _Wrong! It's all wrong! Get out. I said get out!_ )

"So I left when I was sixteen, couldn't stand to be surrounded by all the fake opulence and diamonds. Eventually, Uta found me and decided that I was just too interesting to eat." She stopped suddenly, letting out a shaking breath before continuing. "Kaneki, how do you think I got these scars on my face?"

"Uta." He breathed out, horror taking over his face and realisation entering his eyes.

( _Darling, I'm going to tear out your eyes._ )

"Do not think any less of him." Kazuko shrugged. "I did try to kill him and he was truly starving to death." She ran a hand through her hair. "He wanted to eat my eyes."

"Kazuko, if you wanted to get out of here then-"

"Kaneki, don't try and intervene in events you don't understand."

He only stared at her, the train station growing ever closer. In the midday light, Kazuko's blue eyes were empty, as empty as the summer sky they resembled, nothing but two jagged pieces of a blue gemstone.

"You- You lost your sanity years ago, didn't you?" He whispered in shock. "No matter what Yoshimura, or anyone, says or does- you're never going to leave."

Kazuko tilted her head and stared back at him in a movement that reminded Kaneki slightly too much of Uta.

"You're one to talk." She commented, her face perfectly blank. "I know a breaking psyche when I see it Kaneki, and your checking all of the little black boxes."

Kaneki's face immediately fell, the half ghoul having the decency to look slightly shameful as the two passed the barriers and stepped onto the waiting platform.

"I just want to help."

"And you think that pouring your heart into something will make an evil person want to help too." Kazuko rubbed her face, faintly recognising the voice of the train announcer over the speaker phone. "But, Kaneki-kun, it doesn't."

"We are cursed." He muttered in reply. "Ghouls, humans, all of us are cursed."

"That's the trouble with your kind, always so dramatic." Kazuko laughed slightly, shaking her head. "I don't know whether the gods cursed us or you. Kami, maybe you are the gods for all I know."

"Do you really believe in the almighty, Kazuko?" Kaneki asked, faintly hearing the train approaching in the distance. "By now, I think I believe in pain more than I do gods."

"Worship whatever gods you want Kaneki-kun, whether they're of hope or pain, it makes no difference" she answered cryptically, waving him off sighing slightly as she looked around, her blue eyes even brighter in the midday sun of spring, "but if you find one that worships you back?" She leaned forward with a frown, and Kaneki watched as something he would almost call sanity flickered in her empty blue eyes. "Run. Run as far and as fast as you can."

Next to them the train pulled to a slow stop on the platform.

The doors slid open while Kaneki could only stare into Kazuko's empty blue eyes. If he looked close enough, tilted his head in the sunlight and really looked, he could swimming in them.

Something dark, something twisted, something wasn't fully Kazuko.

A stumbling passenger knocked into Kaneki as the small crowd stepped onto the platform, causing the half ghoul to step back and turn by instinct, watching the man disappear with a muttered apology. When he turned back, Kazuko was no longer in front of him, having fully disappeared into the crowd.

Nothing bad happens to people who love the inhuman, it only becomes a problem when they love you back.

There's blood on the tip of her tongue and danger in her eyes.

Uta thinks that she is something to revere.

A small part of Kazuko thinks that smashing open her skull by repeatedly banging her head against the nearest wall doesn't sound like such a bad idea when put into context.

Leaning on the bannister and watching the half ghoul step onto the train, Kazuko breathed out a shaking sigh of relief as he left, shoving her hands into her pockets and merging with the crowd towards the exit.

Love whatever gods you like, it makes no difference.

But never let a god love you back.

 **...**

She's pruning the shrub rose when it happened.

Forgoing the usual gloves, Kazuko was gently prying the branches apart, snipping of several areas with no flower growth, allowing the shrubs to flower without being suffocated by thorns.

She draws her hand back just slightly too quickly, and the thorns cut into her skin.

She watched the single bead of blood drip down her hand, smacking into the soul of the flower plot when it dropped off of her hand, immediately soaking into the soil.

( _There's pain in her face, pain in her arm, pain her heart. Okay-san, Okaa-san please, make it stop_.)

Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop.

The darkness only crones deeply, stroking her hair and ignoring her silent pleas.

"Kazuko." Uta's voice caused her head to jerk up, the male ghoul lingering in the doorway. "You okay? I thought I smelled blood..."

"Yeah." Kazuko took in a shaking breath, tearing her eyes away from the blood. "I'm fine."

One hour later, she fixes her makeup to hide the tear marks, takes a deep breath, and walks out the door to get a train for the first ward.

No matter her feelings she still has a job to do.

"This is becoming a war, Kazuko." Uta warns next to her. "Just keep Arima off of the battlefield as much as you can."

The sky slowly grows dark above them.

Kazuko hates the afternoon shift.

 **...**

Three taps on the door is what alerts him of her presence.

Kazuko wandered into the large office, walking past the training pit and towards Arima's desk, placing the newly faxed papers on it.

"I hear your going to be apart of that raid on the twentieth ward." She begins, her eyes staying on the floor.

"It begins later tonight." He nodded.

He knows she's been here for the past five hours, he knows she's hiding something.

"Is it really that bad that they need you out there?" She continued, dragging up her eyes from the floor, blood meeting grey. "It's the twentieth ward, there hasn't been a full fledged attack their in months-"

"Which is why we need to strike now before they attack again." He cut her off, watching her with sharp eyes. "Kazuko, why are you here?"

"I came to deliver the faxes." Kazuko said, scoffing slightly. "I wasn't aware that was no longer part of my job."

"You deliver the faxes at the end of your shift." Arima glanced at the clock. "You've still got thirty minutes. What's going on?"

"It's just..." Kazuko trailed off, her left hand rising to rub against her right arm. "Don't feel very well, that's all."

There's just enough insecurity in her voice for him to know she's telling the truth.

Beneath dark lashes, Kazuko's had to hide her gleeful smile as Arima fell for her trick.

"You can go home early if you wish."

"I'll be alright." She smiled softly, her mind working a mile a minute. "Just not feeling myself."

"Do you even know who you are anymore Kazuko?"

She freezes.

Something icy enters her veins, cold and sickening as it spreads across her spine.

Kazuko suddenly remembered what fear felt like.

"What?" She asks, her teeth suddenly clenched and her spine straight. "Arima, what are you-"

"You had me in the beginning, I'll admit that." Arima stated, efficiently cutting her off. He leaned forward on the desk, watching her with interest. "But you played it too much Kazuko, that was your mistake. Answer my question: do you even know who you are anymore?"

Something snaps.

It's twisted, it's dark, it's savage, and it's furious.

And Kazuko falls just slightly too easily for its greedy hands.

The bang echoed around the too large office as she slammed her hands down on the oak desk, surprising even Arima as the neatly organised papers jumped up and fluttered into disarray on the floor.

"Oh Arima," She purred lowly, taking pity on him and leaning closer, smiling sweetly. "That's the problem, isn't it? You don't know what piece I am on the board. I started off as a pawn, then a mildly useful bishop, and now you're sat here wondering whether maybe, just maybe, I might be the queen. But Arima, there's a problem..." She giggled lowly, humming as she leaned even closer, their noses almost touching, her voice a low whisper. "Arima, we're not even playing chess anymore."

"You're insane." Arima hissed lowly, seemingly unbothered by the tiny distance separating their faces.

"Took you long enough." Kazuko growled back.

With the speed of a coiled viper, Kazuko snatched the letter opener off of Arima's desk, twisting it in her fingers and moving to stab it into Arima's face. The special investigator only caught her wrist before it came anywhere need him, standing up from his seated position. A sharp gasp left Kazuko as he sharply twisted her forearm, the penknife slipping from her shaking fingers as Arima dragged her across the surface of the desk, pushing her into the rich leather office chair while he stood above her, hands placed on the armrests of the chair, caging her in the large, suffocating leather.

"Kazuko, Kazuko calm down." Arima stated gently, as the human female began to kick at him wildly. Arima only caught her legs, pushing them back down. "Kazuko keep still, you're only going to hurt yourself."

"Just do it already." Kazuko hissed, glaring venomously as she sank further into the leather. "Have me detained, executed, admitted to the nearest psychiatric ward. It doesn't even matter anymore."

"Is that what you want Kazuko?" Arima asked, his irritation vanishing in the presence of patience. "Or is that what somebody else wants you to say to me?"

"What makes you think you know anything?" Kazuko muttered, something flickering in her empty blue eyes and being destroyed too quickly for Arima to name.

"I know a lot more than you think Kazuko." He said slowly, like he was talking to a petulant child. "Like the fact that you're only here as a last ditch attempt to stop me from going to the battle, which makes me even more curious as to what side you're really on."

 _Be brave, but don't be stupid_. The darkness growled lowly, wrapping its tattooed hands around her neck.

It almost sounded frantic, like it was scared of something Kazuko couldn't name.

A small part of her wanted to cry.

The darkness frantically tried to pacify it, cooing softly and cradling it in its hands.

"Are you going to kill me?" Kazuko asked, and for one split moment she recalled sitting across from a blond haired ghoul in a rat infested house and asking the same question.

( _Now, what makes you say that? The ghoul had replied_.)

"No." Arima answered, leaning forward with his hands still pressing into the leather armrests. "But this is your first and only warning Kazuko. I will excuse this behaviour once and put it down to hysteria and PTSD due to your past and innate fear for me going into the battlefield." Kazuko's glare only increased. "Because that's all this is, isn't it Kazuko?" Silence. "Isn't it?"

"Of course." Kazuko replied through gritted teeth.

"Of course." Arima echoed, sighing and patting her head lightly as he leaned back, finally removing his hands from the armrests. "Go home Kazuko, the last train will be leaving soon."

He reached down to grab his Quinque on the way out, not even glancing back to acknowledge her glare as he shut the large office door behind him.

A few agonising minutes tick by, but Arima could still faintly hear the bloodcurdling scream that ripped through the silence of the CCG building and the loud crash off a desk hitting the floor.


	15. Part II: Lavender

**AN: The world right now, huh? I hope everybody's safe and is following their Governments instructions. Stay safe guys, that's sometimes the best thing that we can do. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Lavender**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Distrust, Devotion**

* * *

When she's bored, Kazuko likes to play a game to amuse herself.

It's called: Spot The Lie.

It goes a little something like this:

Kazuko's favourite colour is violet.

( _True_ )

Kazuko doesn't like roses.

( _True_ )

Kazuko is human.

( _True_ )

Kazuko is perfectly sane and stable, everything is okay. Why wouldn't it be okay?

( _Lie_ )

The only problem was, Kazuko was still trying to figure out exactly why that last one was a lie.

The large halls of the CCG are empty.

Everybody's gone, even Arima.

She failed.

Kazuko isn't completely accustomed to failure.

In the back of her mind, she registers that she should probably be crying, or at least mildly upset by the days events.

But she isn't.

She should care that millions of people, both human and ghoul could die today, maybe even the people she knows and cares about, on both sides.

But she doesn't.

Instead, Kazuko walks into the staff bathroom of the highest floor of the CCG building and leans against the granite counter and stares into the large mirror in front of her.

The bathroom is sparkling clean, the cleaners have only just left after all, rows of neat grey and black colour coordination.

It's perfect, and Kazuko aches to tear it to shreds.

She aches to rip it apart and destroy the very foundations because _how dare it?_

Her hands as shaking as she folds into herself, her sky blue eyes pulling away from the wide mirror in front of her.

In the corner of her eye, almost unnoticeable, something moves in the reflection of the glass.

But she looks up and nothing is there.

Instead, something twisted and darks looms over her, and while it is not reflected in the mirror before her, she knows it is there. It breaths steadily against her ear and gently runs its finger through her dark hair, cooing softly as if she was it's child.

 _Oh, hello darling..._ It says, it's voice is as dark as it is.

She knows it, even though she'll do anything not to.

"Where were you?" She whispers brokenly. "You left me, for a moment you left me, that wasn't very nice."

The cooing stopped and she could feel it grin against her hair, its head tilting slightly.

 _Oh I'm sorry darling, I was only in your reflection._

"What do you want from me?" She whispers again, the grey countertop caught in her tight grip as she stares into her own cold blue eyes.

They're empty.

 _Everything._

Kazuko aches to cry.

She can't, no matter how hard she tries.

She spins around, lashing her hand out to collide with the venomous, retched thing. A short gasp leaves her mouth as she stumbled forward, her hand coming into contact with nothing.

 _I want to go home._ A small part of her whispers, growing smaller by the day but still separate from the darkness. _I don't want to do this anymore._

Kazuko only brought the shaking hand to her chest and took in a deep breath.

"Be brave, Kazuko." She whispered to herself, staring at her empty blue eyes in the bathroom mirror while the darkness only hummed in agreement, curling itself up to her side. "Be brave, but don't be stupid."

She tells herself that it's all going to be okay.

Kazuko is a liar.

( _True_ )

 **...**

By the time she reaches the fourth ward, it's all over.

Itori dances around her happily, grabbing her hand and dragging her back on the train towards the fourteenth ward. She chatted mindlessly, recounting her epic battles with the CCG as Kazuko only payed her half an ear.

In the fourteenth ward, there is a bar, and in the bar is a group of ghouls and one measly human.

Kazuko... doesn't particularly like the clowns.

They are loud, obnoxious, and slightly too outlandish and slightly too prone to violence for her tastes.

Uta had only laughed and called her slightly hypocritical when she mentioned this to him.

"Kaneki Ken is dead." Uta said, approaching her in the corner of the bar, passing her a wine glass, his voice low and a shine to his eyes that Kazuko would almost mistake for tears if she didn't know him well enough.

Kazuko stared down at the liquid in the glass in front of her, contemplating for a few seconds.

"Long live Kaneki Ken." Kazuko whispered into her wine glass, taking a small sip as her empty blue eyes stared across the skyline, taking in the view of the fourteenth ward from the window.

She feels hollow, a strange emptiness where there should be pain, nothing where there should be something.

She takes another sip of her wine glass.

And another.

"Aw," a shrill voice cooed right next to Kazuko's ear, a smaller figure latching themselves onto her arm. "Did darling 'Zuko get attached to the baby half ghoul?"

"Let go of me if you wish to end this evening with all of your appendages." Kazuko hissed at the female, Roma letting go of her with a dramatic squeak, her eyes widening dramatically as she jumped to get away from the human. Pulling exaggerated faces of sadness and dismay as she did.

"You're no fun, 'Zuko." Nico tutted, shaking his head lightly as Roma collapsed against him, wailing dramatically. "Well, it's a good thing your so beautifully broken isn't it? Or else what would we do with you?"

She didn't really want to know.

"Kill me?" She offered flatly instead.

"Don't tempt me." Nico winked teasingly, draping next to her dramatically as he continued. "How'd that boy die anyway? Did he die saving Yoshimura-san? Or something else equally and maybe even more dramatically enticing?"

"That's so lame." Roma huffed. "He can't just go out like that. It had to be something far more epic. Engaged in a historical battle of strength and wills."

"According to my sources," Itori hummed, all heads turning to hear as she took a sip of the fermented blood in her glass. "The CCG's policy this time around was complete eradication, zero detainment in the Cochela Prison."

"Shame." Roma drawled out, resting her head in her hands as Kazuko shoved Nico off of her with a low hiss of frustration. "I wouldn't to see him suffer some more."

"Tragedies aren't popular nowadays, anyway." Uta announced, a human eye hovering over his lips as he made eye contact with Kazuko from across the room. "We need to have some more fun."

Cheers of agreement filled the bar, the ghouls bouncing off each other as Kazuko leaned further into the corner.

"After all," Itori called out over the noise, her glass raised high in the air. "The last laugh must always belong to the clowns."

Kazuko takes another deep drink from her wine glass and tries to block out the noise.

"To the broken, and that includes you Kaneki." She whispers into the rim of her glass, her voice masked by the hoots and hollers, pouring herself another drink. "Wherever you are."

 **...**

When the parties over and Kazuko has drank two more glasses of red wine, they board the midnight train to the twentieth ward.

Because she has just enough CCG status to have a high level of clearance, Kazuko drags them into the torn streets of the twentieth ward as soon as they get off of the train.

With soft steps on the dark cobblestone streets they come face to face with the ruined Anteiku. It's large, street facing glass windows were shattered, the door blown of its hinges and smouldering slightly next to them. The once clean brick and timber lay scattered around them on the cobblestones, and Kazuko could still make out the charred remained of a few tables and chairs inside.

"Odd, isn't it?" A coworker hums next to her. Namayo if she remembers correctly, head of collateral damage division, late thirties, has a two year old and a five year old. He is nice and smiles to her whenever he passes her desk. A sucker for small talk. "Couldn't believe it myself when I heard. I used to come here a lot while I was in college, praised it for its coffee even. Shame it had to be run by ghouls."

Uta is hidden in the shadow of the trees only a few steps away but Kazuko can still feel his red and black eyes drilling into the back of her head.

"Yeah." Kazuko nodded in agreement, feeling like a hand was wrapped around her throat. "A shame."

Because that's all it was in the end.

A shame.

Ghouls weren't beings to these people, as human as the monsters under their bed. They were just shadows that lived with them, something to fear and something to get rid off as quickly and efficiently as possible.

 _A shame._

Kazuko aches for the ability to cry.

"Come to an office party sometime Kazuko," Namayo grins, turning to her with his clipboard in hand. "I'll finally get to introduce you to my wife and kids, the eldest is nine now, can you believe?"

Ah, she was a few years off with the ages then.

Her smile is tense but believable as they exchange pleasantries and goodbyes, Namayo writing something on his clipboard with a mutter as he walked away, taking note of a shattered window next to the torn down Anteiku.

Kazuko took one last look at the destroyed home of the ghouls in the twentieth ward and sighed.

"Uta. Uta, I want to go home now."

Uta is never one to deny her anything.

 **...**

The apartment above the shop is strangely still as Kazuko fumbles forward, collapsing into her vanity chair, breathing heavily and slumped forwards as she grips the wooden edge of the vanity, her eyes focused on something on the floor.

"Kazuko." Uta's deep baritone cuts through the silence. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." She muttered in reply, gripping the edge of the vanity slightly tighter.

He eyed her for several seconds more before coming to kneel in front of her, gently prying her fingers off of the balcony.

"'Zuko..." He started lowly, her blue eyes lifting slightly to meet his red ones before darting back to the floor. "'Zuko, tell me what's going on."

"I'm fine."

"And I'm not prepared to stand here and believe that."

She wanted to lash out, to grab him by his shoulders and shake violently, she wanted to crawl out those deep red and black eyes, to tear at his tattoos until all that remained was the marks she had made. She wanted to yell, to dig her nails in his shoulders and demand he take back everything he has given her, demand that he take her home to the slums so she can leave all this behind.

She never asked for this.

Never wanted it.

She had just wanted to be free, and then she had just wanted him.

And now...

And now people are dead.

His loose shirt slipped slightly as he crouched down, revealing the sun rays on his chest and though small writing tattooed between two of them, located right over where his heart should be. Kazuko.

She reached out with trembling fingers, the darkness leaning forward as she traced the kanji.

Be brave, darling, but don't be stupid.

"Hey." A tattooed hand resting on her cheek, gently tracing over her scars, snapped her out of the daze.

Her eyes darted up once more, meeting his. His eyes are red. Red like roses, red like cherries, red like wine, red like blood.

( _There's blood on her hands, a man bleeding out on the floor, and she just wants it all to stop._ )

"It's not safe anymore." Kazuko whispered, Arima's words haunting her even hours later. "None of this is safe anymore.

Uta doesn't try to deny it, doesn't try to placate her with empty words of security and prosperity.

It never was safe.

Not for them.

Instead, he presses a soft kiss to her knuckles and stares up at her with a strange look of seriousness set in his pale features.

"Nothing in this world will harm you Kazuko." His voice is firm and his grip on her hand tightens slightly as he speaks. "Nothing. Not while I'm here. Do you understand me?"

She's just foolish enough to believe him.

Kazuko nodded slowly, her blue eyes never leaving his red ones. Pressing a short kiss on his forehead she turned away, facing her mirror and taking in a deep breath. Alongside her, Uta rises to his feet, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly and moving out of their bedroom to give her some space.

She seeks him out later, curling up next to him on the bed and tracing his tattoos with her long fingers, despite her cold touch, Uta doesn't complain once.

"It's a shame." She repeats the words from earlier, tracing another nonsensical pattern on Uta's arm.

"It's more than a shame." Uta disagrees calmly, his fingers running up and down her spine at a slow, languid, pace. "It's a tragedy of epic proportions."

"I thought you didn't like tragedies?" She asks softly, her hand curving slowly round his wrist as she follows the flow of the dark pattern.

"Some of them are an exception." He considers for a moment. "Like you."

"I'm not a tragedy."

"Of course, my darling." He agrees, a small bubble of laughter in his voice as she openly pouts at him. "You are far too beautiful to be a tragedy."

 **...**

The guards scan both of their identity badges as they walk through the white and glass entrance doors of the Cochlea, a fingerprint and eye scanner is roughly shoved at Kazuko before she could take another step in or fully survey her surroundings. The human female obeying with a small sigh, pulling off her standard issue white gloves as another guard put the other scanner closer to her right eye.

A small beep.

A green light.

And they were through.

"Thank you." Kazuko smiled tensely at the guard as he handed her back her white coat.

Arima was a few step ahead of her, shrugging his own coat back on and picking up his briefcase. They hadn't spoken of the incident for the last few weeks.

Kazuko didn't know if she appreciated that or not.

They enter the elevator silently, Arima pushing the button for the lowest floor.

Kazuko openly flinched at the sound of the muffled screeching that surrounded them as they passed some of the floors.

"I-" Kazuko cut herself off, sighing as they continued to descend. "Don't you think this is slightly inhumane, I know tat they've kilked people, many people even... but even death row prisons are nicer than this."

"Careful, Kazuko." Arima warned, his voice low as he continued to stare blankly at the elevator doors. "Some might accuses you of a sympathiser."

"I'm playing devils advocate at best." Kazuko bit her tongue to stop her voice from raising. "There are children in some of these cells Arima, children. No child, no matter their species deserves to suffer." She knows that all too well. They both do. "What if it was us in here Arima? What if my Okaa-san just threw me in here as punishment one-"

"That wouldn't happen." Arima refuted calmly, his eyes still not moving from the elevator doors. "You're as human as they come Kazuko, anyone could see that. Stop trying to project empathy and compassion where you will get nothing in return."

"Arima." She sighed heavily, running a hand across her face as they descended into the lower levels of the prison. "Sometimes I don't understand what you want from me."

"Loyalty, mainly." Arima stated, his eyes unmoving and his stance unwavering as the elevator doors chimed open in front of them. "We've come this far together, don't betray me to your empathy now Kazuko."

For the briefest of moments, Kazuko considers sinking her teeth into his neck and tearing out his vocal cords with her bare hands just so he would shut up.

But just for a moment.

"Hello number 240." Arima greeted as they stepped off the elevator and walked towards the temporary holding cell.

Walking to stop next to Arima, Kazuko let her blue eyes flicker across the shadows of the dark holding cell, she couldn't see anyone, but it was obvious Arima knew someone was here.

"I've come to make you an offer." Arima continued, seemingly unperturbed by the silence that had greeted them. "The head of the CCG and myself have an agreement that you can do some good for the world. You can work under the CCG under mine and several colleagues supervision, and we will overlook the basis of your unfortunate heritage." Something moved in the shadows of the holding cell.

Kazuko didn't know what was going on, the clipboard in her hands was tight in her grip as she quickly skimmed over the context of the paperwork and file in front of her, one she had overlooked out of boredom and grief that very morning.

"Or," Arima was still talking next to her, not looking at anything but the slight movement in the shadows. "We can leave you here to rot. I'm sure you can recognise the better option."

A name change form, some legal citizenship documents, an employee contract.

What was going on?

"Fine." The stranger stated. "I'll help you."

They stepped out of the shadows, and Kazuko's grip on her notepad tightened, a scream bubbling into her throat. Arima didn't glance at her, only nodding at the strangers words and continuing to speak for a moment. Her hand was still shaking slightly as she signed her name onto the black line in the required areas. Her blue eyes still wide as she and Arima both walked back into the elevator.

Oh Kami.

Long live Kaneki Ken indeed, Kazuko considered staring at the new glossy ID photo of the figure before her, handing the file to Arima so that he could approve it.

Long live Kaneki Ken indeed.

* * *

 **End Of Part II**


	16. Part III: Blackthorn

**AN: Whoop! Part III is here! This part covers the whole of :re so it will likely be the longest part of this series. Exciting! If you haven't read/watched :re then don't worry! I'll try my best to make everything coherent even without much canon knowledge :) I hope all of you are safe. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Blackthorn**

* * *

 **Flower Meaning: Hope Against Adversity**

* * *

Uta had choked on his coffee when she told him.

On any other occasion, it would've been funny.

"And before you ask, no, I'm not joking." Kazuko snapped before he could even open his mouth. Taking a large gulp from the wine bottle in her hand as she paced the apartment. "Lost his memories, no recollection of anything before three weeks ago. What in Kami's name have they done to him?"

"It may have been him." Uta offered, having finished his coughing fit. "When your insanity finally breaks you, memories tend to go slipping with it."

"And what do you know about insanity?" Kazuko asked, tilting her head while Uta only gave her a flat look. "Anyway, what are we meant to tell them? Oh, you know that guy you're mourning, turns out he's alive but he can't remember anything. Oh, and his hairs changed by the way."

"Precisely that." Uta nodded, though his red and black eyes were fixed on the door behind Kazuko.

Looking at him with a frown and narrowed eyes, Kazuko suddenly sighed, her shoulders slumping as she collapsed into the dining room chair with a deep groan, her back still to the door.

"They're behind me aren't they?"

"Yep." Uta nodded, leaning back and taking a slow drink of his coffee. "Do you want anything to drink Touka?"

"How did you get in anyway?" Kazuko asked, twisting on her seat to face Touka as the female ghoul slumped boneless in the chair next to her.

"You need to move your spare key." The female ghoul muttered, obviously in shock. "It's in the same place it was when you used to babysit me. I just wanted to check that the both of you were okay. Several ghoul homes got raided while many were focused on the twentieth ward."

"I'll get you a coffee." Uta muttered, rising from his seat and slowly venturing into the kitchen.

"Is it true?" Touka asked, turning to Kazuko with an odd sheen in her eyes. "What you just said?"

"I wish it wasn't." She sighed, placing the wine bottle on the table, a pale hand rubbing her face as she tried to come up with a slightly better explanation. "They had him detained in Cochlea for a while, brought him up yesterday or the day before, even as one of his handlers I'm not privileged to know all the details. They've got him housed in the first ward somewhere, likely with a CCG member on guard, or maybe even in a private hospital room. Look, Touka, sweetie-"

"We need to go!" The female ghoul exclaimed, jumping to her feet with newfound energy and conviction. "We can save him. Bring him back. Make this right!"

"Sweetie, it's not that-"

"You can find him, right?" Touka cut her off, bouncing with the sudden surge of energy. "You can go in there and extract him and no one will suspect a thing. We can-"

"Touka, sit down." Uta's calm, deep voice echoed around the apartment, effectively cutting off the young adult as he placed a steaming cup of coffee on the table in front of her. "This is not the time to be rash."

Whatever energy the revelation had given Touka was quickly drained at Uta's statement.

"You're not going to do anything, are you?"

"We wish we could, truly Touka, we do." Kazuko started glancing at Uta for help. "But this is out of our hands now. The Doves are guarding him like he is the new sparkling crown jewel in their silver crown. There is no way we can get in or out without someone dying, and enough people have died." Touka flinched before nodding solemnly. Last Kazuko had heard, Yoshimura hadn't been seen after the battle and was presumed dead. "He has no memories and no reason to join us, the best situation we can hope for is later, whether it be months or years, he recovers his memories and finds his own way back to us."

"That's the best." Touka agreed, letting Kazuko reach out and hold the younger woman's hand reassuringly. "But what's the worst?"

"The CCG decide that the new crown jewel doesn't suit the crown." Uta stated gravely.

"We can't let that happen." Touka replied, shaking her head vigorously. "Th-there must be something that we can do."

"There is." Uta nodded, leaning forward as Kazuko softly rubbed Touka's shaking hands. "Spread the word. He isn't to be harmed, keep an eye on him but don't interfere."

"I'll do all I can on the inside." Kazuko spoke up, her cold blue eyes meeting Touka's dark blue ones. "I'll keep an eye on him and make sure that Arima doesn't treat him to harshly, make sure he's fed, healthy and as happy as I can make him."

"So we spread the word and keep an eye on him." Touka nodded, slowly coming to terms with the plan. "But what then, what comes after?"

"We live our life." Uta shrugged, his fingers tracing patterns into the table as he glanced up at the two. "There's no use hanging around for someone who might never come back."

"You're eighteen, Touka." Kazuko smiled softly. "You've got your whole life ahead of you, you can do absolutely anything."

"Such as rebuilding a cafe." Touka laughed lowly, wiping a few stray, mournful tears out of the corners of her eyes. She picked up the coffee cup that had been placed in front of her several minutes ago, still lightly steaming. "I'm glad to see both of you are okay, despite anything. If you can also spread the word-"

"Of course, of course." Uta waved her off, taking a slow drink of his own drink. "We're glad to see you're okay as well Touka."

 **...**

It's nearly six months later when she fulfils part of her promise to Touka.

Since being put under their care, Arima has taken to sparring with the newly named Sasaki Haise. Kazuko makes sure he eats what he can, his apartment is secure, and he has basic table manners after he forgot quite a few of them, and Arima spars with him, training him up to be the next great CCG Investigator.

Well, Arima called it sparring, Kazuko would liken it to a glorified 'let's beat up Haise session'.

She had shared this analogy with Haise himself once, and the man had laughed.

"That's enough." She stated, calmly stepping between the two. Haise shaking slightly from his position on the floor, but she pays him no mind, instead choosing to stare directly into Arima's frustrated grey eye and the stern set of his jaw. "He's had enough Arima."

"He needs to learn." Arima argued, his tone coldly defensive. "A ghoul will not stop when you ask them to."

"And he will not get up if you hit him again." Kazuko argued back, her blue eyes narrowing as Arima stepped to move around her. "He's improved in strides since a month ago, and he will be back to do this again tomorrow, let him have this."

Behind them, Haise slowly clambered to his feet, breathing heavily and clutching his right side, his legs shaking violently as he remained hunched over.

"Then what are we meant to do?" Arima asked, his jaw relaxing slightly as he put down his quinque with a small sigh.

"It's Thursday." Kazuko stated casually. "I want tea."

Kazuko vaguely considers that they must be an odd sight.

A woman with scars running down her face, a tall man with shock white hair, and a younger man with black and white hair with bruises on his arms all clad in standard CCG uniform and conversing over tea.

But right now, Kazuko had her elbow resting on the table, her face resting on her open palm while another hand stirred her tea, Arima had rolled up his sleeves and was calmly monitoring the doorway of the cafe, as if expecting a threat to burst in at anytime. Haise set across from them, no longer clutching his side and finishing the last of his first glass of tea.

"You've nearly finished your training haven't you, Haise?" Kazuko asks softly, pouring him another cup of tea from the pot. "You will be working under Mado Akira in a few months, no?"

"You already now that Kazuko." Haise laughed softly, no longer shaking violently after his first cup of tea. "You are the one who forced me to go and introduce myself."

Kazuko hummed softly in agreement leaning forward in her chair with her teacup still in hand.

"She will do you good." Arima nodded, as formal as always, Kazuko playfully rolling her eyes at Haise when he automatically sat up straighter in his seat. "She's a good teacher, and possibly an even greater investigator than her father."

"And then you can get a little squad of your own to teach." She clapped her hands together happily, a teasing grin forming on her face. "Arima, isn't it exciting! It'll be like having grandchildren."

"Kazuko, we're nearly thirty." Arima sighed, already used to Kazuko's grand mood swings and erratic behaviour.

Haise quietly laughed into the rim of his glass at Kazuko's horrified expression.

"Thirty." She whispered, as if this information was news to her. "Kami, when did we get so old? I don't remember being this old."

"Thirty isn't old."

She sighed dramatically slumping in her seat with a pout.

"Don't grow old Haise, it's a trap."

At this, Haise openly laughed the soft sound rising above the chatter of the cafe.

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself." He admitted, placing his cup on the table as he spoke. "It'll probably be another six months before I get my own squad to lead. For now I'm grateful for the guidance I have from the both of you."

The cafe has a nice wooden theme, brown leather booths decorating the walls while more classic tables and chairs were lightly scattered around the middle. It had a few occupants, the lunch hour rush having passed before they stepped in, and a nice array of cakes and snacks along the counter, as well as a neat chalkboard menu above the till.

It made Kazuko miss Anteiku.

Her hands tightened slightly around her teacup.

Anteiku.

When she had last passed by the place, it had been completely torn down, an empty space in the middle of the twentieth ward like it had never been there to begin with. That was probably what they had been aiming for, better to pretend like it never existed than acknowledge that they had lived alongside ghouls for over ten years.

"Are you sure, I'm almost ready?" Haise was asking Arima by the time Kazuko turned back into the conversation. "I mean, whenever we fight I only feel woefully underprepared."

"Kazuko, despite her constant need to coddle you it seems." Arima's hand shot out, his hand holding onto Kazuko's knee when the female had moved to kick him under the table. "Don't kick me Kazuko. As I was saying, you've made exponential progress from where you were at at the beginning of our sessions. Field work with Akira will only let these primary skills grow in the foundation we have set and will continue to set over these next few months."

"Thank you." Haise smiled, his eyes shining with pride as he glanced between them. "Both of you. I know it's sort of your job, but you've looked after me these past few months, and I'm grateful for everything."

"So you'll let us see our grandchildren when you get your own squad?" Kazuko grinned cheekily, while Haise laughed once more.

If Arima was anybody else, he would've rolled his eyes.

 **...**

"So, he's getting along well?" Itori asked her as the four of them sat in her empty bar, Kazuko calmly tapping her fingers onto the oak bar top.

"As well as he can be with Arima constantly beating him up in the name of lessons." Kazuko shrugged, leaning into Uta's shoulder.

"Fascinating." Itori cooed softly, clapping her hands together. "Our little Kaneki, out there cluelessly working for the enemy, it just gets better and better doesn't it?"

"If that's how you want to see it."

"The memory though, how'd do you think that happened? Renji, do you think it's like-"

"Itori." Uta warned, Kazuko's eyebrows rising in confusion.

"What was that?" She asked, sitting up in her own chair. "Like who?"

"Yes Uta?" Renji spoke up, his voice low but his grey eyes never left Kazuko. "Like who?"

"No one, don't worry about it Kazuko." Uta growled out, his red eyes staring coldly back at Renji. "Just some ghoul in the fifth ward that went so mad with hunger, by the time they found him he had forgotten his own name."

She didn't buy it for one second.

She opened her mouth, ready to push it, up immediately shut it once more when she saw the look that Uta was giving Renji.

 _Be brave Kazuko_ , the darkness spoke up, patting her shoulder from where it sat next to her. _But don't be stupid._

Here's the thing: Kazuko isn't stupid.

She knows something has happened, and she knows the three are keeping it from her.

The thing is, by the look on Uta's face she's almost certain that she doesn't want to know.

 **...**

She hates meetings like these.

With Haise officially being handed over to Akira in two weeks, there was a meeting on his progress and the possible future of the Quinx project that had started with the introduction of Haise.

"So he has been progressing well in his exercise and physical development." The chairman, Washuu Yoshitoki nodded as Arima finished his own part, the heads of departments and major teams nodding in agreement as Arima once more took his seat next to Kazuko, looking as composed as ever. "But his mental development, Saitō-san, please?"

"There's is only a small trace of his past self left in the Investigator we now call Sasaki Haise." Kazuko started, rising to stand form her own seat. "Apart from that-"

"So there is a trace." A squad leader interrupted, Kazuko's empty blue eyes moving to meet his. "He is still somewhat a threat?"

"While there is a trace, I do not believe it has any chance of development." Kazuko continued, the Investigator shrinking slightly under her cold gaze before she turned back to the chairman. "There are no characteristic changes, he has never once acted out or shown any of the behaviour he had before he was detained. He likes to read, finds joy in the life and people around him. If no one knew any better, I would say he was as human as they come."

The chairman nodded, shuffling the documents in front of him slightly before turning back to Kazuko.

"You've prepared a statement that can be passed onto the CCG squads, have you not Saitō-san?"

This was the part she was dreading.

She hated these meetings, she hated how these men looked down at her with cold eyes. She hated Arima for forcing her to write this stupid statement.

She hated that she understood why. She hated how she knew that these men had children and families that loved them, that she had spoken to about flowers and never flinched at the scars on her face.

She hated how nothing in this world could be simply black and white.

Clearing her throat lightly, she brought the paper with the statement on it to the top of the pile. Slowly and clearly reading its contents to the room.

"Rank One Investigator Sasaki Haise is a half ghoul." She started, clenching her hands to stop them from shaking. "He was a victim of a Kakahou transplant at the hands of Aogiri Tree's mad scientist Kanou. Some rules have been established in regards to his treatment while he works for the Commission of Counter-Ghoul here in Tokyo, Japan. One is that under all circumstances while sane and communicable will fellow members of the CCG, Sasaki Haise is to be treated as a human." Her nails dug into the palm of her hand as she prepared herself for the next sentence. Touka, Touka forgive me. "However, in the unlikely yet dangerous circumstance that Sasaki Haise loses the control that he has learnt and in the event his Kagune went on a rampage and could not be stopped by more humane means, he is to be considered a ghoul and," _I'm so sorry my darling_ , "exterminated immediately."

Kazuko took in a deep breath, calmly passing the paper onto the chairman who nodded in thanks as the other attendees talked among themselves.

"It has been signed by both Arima and myself." Kazuko continued after a brief pause, her own tongue heavy in her mouth. "It and be scanned and sent to every squad leader as early as tomorrow morning who can delegate this information down to subordinates as they wish."

If Kazuko had the ability to cry, she would be holding back tears by now.

"Thank you, Saitō-san." The Chairman nodded, Kazuko slowly sinking back into her seat. "It seems that the Quinx Project is progressing nicely, Sasaki Haise truly does seem to be shaping up into a fine CCG Investigator."

"Of course." Arima nodded, upright in his seat and paying attention to the chairman. "Even after he is handed over to Mado Akira we will be here to support him."

"Before a dismiss you," The Chairman started, passing one of his own files to Kazuko. "These are the final candidates for the Quinx squad, please look over them. You are both dismissed, thank you for your time."

"Thank you sir." Both of them say, Kazuko quickly packing away their files before swiftly exiting the board room after Arima, running to catch up as the tall white haired male stepped into an empty elevator.

Slipping in just as the doors closed, Kazuko stared at the new folder still in her hand, shoving down the fear and regret from a few moments ago with a soft smile.

It does not good to dwell on negative things.

"Arima, Arima." She poked his side lightly, a soft grin on her face as he only stared at the closed elevator doors in front of them. "Arima, guess what?"

"Don't say it Kazuko." He stated, the tension in his shoulders telling her that he was holding back a sigh.

"Come on." She said, the smile still firmly in place. "You know that you're thinking it as well."

" _Kazuko_."

"Does the CCG suck all the fun out of its students? I swear you were more fun when we were kids."

"We're thirty, Kazuko."

"You're thirty, I'm still clinging to my twenties." The grin become even wider on Kazuko's face. "With that attitude, I'm clearly going to be the favourite."

"Kami, spare me."

"We're getting grandbabies!" Kazuko cheered happily clapping her hands together and laughing openly at Arimas slightly pained expression.


End file.
